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Like I did during LOST’s run, I’ve read countless interviews with Joss or listened to his commentary tracks or any other interview he’s done. Surprisingly, I was unaware of Firefly’s existence until I read the chapter in an unofficial Joss Whedon biography. The concept sounded intriguing but I neither understood nor appreciated Firefly until I watched the show. The show began re-running on SciFi a few years ago (maybe 2005) so I began watching it. I watched one episode and disliked the quality of the episode’s look. I enjoyed the Pilot. There are moments in the pilot that will simply hook a new viewer to the show. Sudden emotion; very powerful and very direct. I’m thinking of the trick Mal plays on Simon, the doctor who is new to the ship and on the run from the Alliance after rescuing his sister from the Academy, regarding Kaylee’s death. She was hit by a bullet shot from an undercover Alliance agent’s gun, treated by Simon and she does live which is something we discover when there’s a sensational tracking shot of an anguished Simon running to the infirmary to check on her. When Simon arrives, he finds Kaylee up and talking with a ton of life in her. I also think of the moment when we meet River and we find out the contents of the package aren’t a what but a who. Lacking a credit card, I quickly persuaded persons who do to order me the DVD stat on amazon.com. The DVDs came in the mail. I watched the entire series. Following “Objects In Space,” I said to myself, “Joss did it again.”

Firefly, as I mentioned briefly yesterday, is a gem of a series. Anyone who watched Serenity, the movie, received a brief glimpse into the world of Firefly but Serenity is no Firefly. Serenity can’t take us to the many planets or give a certain character a centric story besides Mal. Serenity is a great movie but if you want the story of these people, you’ve gotta watch Firefly.

The entire series is worth watching numerous times. I also enjoy reading the shooting scripts which are available on FireflyWikki; however, it would be a cop-out to rank all fourteen episodes of the series. The goal of the rankings is to name the five very best episodes of the series, to single out the episodes that capture the spirit and execute the show’s unique vision and stories best. With that said, let me end the preamble and enter into the world of episodic television rankings:

THE FIVE ABSOLUTE BEST 44 MINUTES OF FIREFLY

5. EPISODE 107–JAYNESTOWN (WRITTEN BY BED EDLUND; DIRECTED BY MARITA GRABIAK)

FireflyWikki.org

Jayne is the antagonist on Serenity. He exists to create conflict. He’s a man entirely out for himself. In this episode, some cargo needs to be transported from Canton. Jayne is worried because he’s not well liked by the Magistrate because of something that happened a few years ago. Jayne and his crew stole money but, while leaving, the flying craft was hit and quickly losing fuel. Jayne had to drop the money and the Mudders viewed Jayne Cobb as a hero. The Magistrate tried to take the money from them but they rioted and were able to keep the money. Canton is a place that sells mud and the working class refer to themselves as The Mudders. It is a place that stinks and another reminder to Simon of how far from civilized life he is and he thinks he’s going mad when he sees a mud statue of Jayne because, after all, he described Jayne as a man-ape thing but admitted an ape is more trained than Jayne.

Jayne resists the idea that he’s a hero because he knows he is not a hero; however, he slowly embraces the idea until the truth comes out about how he threw a man out before the money. One Mudder, Meadows, doesn’t waver in his admiration for Jayne and takes the bullet for him. Jayne doesn’t understand why Meadows would do that. Mal tells him that it’s not about Jayne, that it’s about what the Mudders needed. Jayne still doesn’t understand.

The heart of the story involves that idea of what people need. Book needs the bible and its teachings even though he admits that the bible is broken. The important thing to him is that the bible fixed him. This is what he tells River. Simon tells Kaylee that he needs to continue being proper because being proper is the only thread he has, besides his sister, from the life he left behind for her.

Jaynestown is a meditation on the idea of heroism and the importance of faith. It’s also a very, very funny episode.

4. EPISODE 109–ARIEL (WRITTEN BY JOSE MOLINA; DIRECTED BY ALLAN KROEKER)

FireflyWikki.org

The episode in which Jayne betrays Simon and River. The Hands of Blue cause some chaos. And, yes, this is episode with the infamous airlock scene.

After struggling to appear as a buyer of mud because the Foreman couldn’t know the true intentions of Mal and his crew in “Jaynestown,” Simon becomes a criminal mastermind of sorts. Serenity travels to the central planet Ariel. The central planets are booming with Alliance folk. Simon’s actual plan involves running tests on his sister to find out exactly what’s going on with her and to determine what the Academy did to her. The plan is tricky because they need to be kind of dead to access the area where they need to go. Also, Jayne is with them and responsible for them while Mal, Zoe, Wash and Kaylee steal some pricey medicine.

The central focus of the story becomes Jayne’s betrayal. The betrayal caught me by surprise when I first watched it because I did not expect it. The previous episodes made it clear that Jayne had no use for the Tams but, still…damn. Jayne doesn’t hold the same principles that Mal does. When Mal saves River and Simon from being burned at the stake, he simply explains it with this: “you’re on my crew.” Jayne is not that man. Any way in which he can help himself, he will help himself. The Tams have a large sum attached to their capture. Jayne creates a whole mess of chaos because crazy Hands of Blue will kill whoever they meet on their path to getting River back. As for River, she’s a mystery at this point in the show but this episode clearly shows that her head was being messed with. River is a genius. River also terrifies Jayne. The situation Jayne creates is eventually resolved. The Alliance looking for them is not, of course, but the crew makes it out of Ariel safely.

“Ariel” is an excellent Simon episode. He tells Jayne, after Jayne is hurt, that he’ll never hurt Jayne while he is a patient under his care, and he cares so much for River. The episode also showcases Mal’s enormous loyalty. Rather than write about it, watch it.

3. EPISODE 106-OUR MRS. REYNOLDS (WRITTEN BY JOSS WHEDON; DIRECTED BY VONDIE CURTIS HALL

still-flying.net

The funniest episode of the series. The episode introduces Saffron, portrayed by the awesome Christina Hendricks (of Mad Men fame now). This is a good Mal episode because we learn a lot about him through Saffron. He ends up married to her after saving a town from bandits; however, by episode’s end, the marriage was just a way for Saffron to put them in harm’s way. Mal is the opposite of Jayne because Jayne just wants to have his way with her. Mal refuses to take advantage of Saffron. He feels uncomfortable by how subserviant she is. It’s all an act, of course, but Mal doesn’t know it until he’s passed out after one hell of a seduction by Saffron and she begins her true plan. We learn about Mal’s life before the Browncoats and before Serenity. Saffron opens him up in ways no one else can besides maybe Inara and, later, River. For an anti-hero, Mal has many virtues and they are on display.

The episode is the funniest episode Joss Whedon has ever written. The scene between Saffron and Wash, when she has to knock him out and begins a seduction attempt, is brilliant.

2. EPISODE 108–OUT OF GAS (WRITTEN BY TIM MINEAR; DIRECTED BY DAVID SOLOMON)

still-flying.net

“Out Of Gas” is an origin story. Using the words ‘origin story’ is odd considering Firefly is not a comic book and the words are usually reserved for the comic book world. The words work to sum up “Out Of Gas.” We learn how the crew came together on Serenity and we learn how important these people are to Mal. Every single one of them. We also see just how much he loves Serenity. The final scene of the episode features Mal being wowed by Serenity even though the dealer thinks Serenity is a piece of trash.

The story is non-linear and the A story and the episode opens with a wounded Mal, near death, in a ship with no oxygen and no crew (because he sent them to safety) ready to die and go down with his ship. ‘Out of Gas’ emphasizes one of the most consistent theme throughout every Whedon story: family doesn’t have to be just blood. The crew is Mal’s family and Serenity is home. Serenity saved him from a very dark place.

“Out Of Gas” is one of Minear’s finest hours and the same goes for David Solomon who has been with Joss through every series as a director and producer.

1. EPISODE 114–OBJECTS IN SPACE (WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY JOSS WHEDON)

still-flying.net

My absolute favorite episode of Firefly. I love the character River and this is her episode. I love the commentary for this episode as well. Joss convinced me to read Sartre after I finished listening to him speak about the episode. “Objects In Space” is a very philosophical episode that deals exclusively with existentialist philosophy. The conversations between Jubal Early and River Tam highlight this.

A bounty hunter comes aboard Serenity for River. He takes Simon hostage but River saves the crew and her own brother from Jubal Early. She also sends him out, alone, into space. Before Jubal Early arrives, River has another violent episode which brings up the debate of whether or not to kick her and Simon off of the ship because of the problem River has been. River is just very damaged because what the Academy did and she’s psychic so her thoughts have been scrambled because she’s been scrambled. Serenity, the movie, will heal River. This episode is the one in which everyone accepts her. Most importantly, Mal accepts her. There’s a great piece of info at the end of the Serenity commentary (the love discussion) when Nathan Fillion wondered how to play the scene and, later, he told Joss that all he did was look into Summer Glau’s eyes and he know how to play the scene. To clarify: there is no romantic relationship between the two. It’s platonic.

This episode begins the removal of the many layers that make up River Tam and it is an outstanding, outstanding episode.

ON MONDAY: The Best Directed-By-Joss Whedon Episodes!

THE YOUTUBE CLIP OF THE WEEK

            Buenos dias and welcome to yet another ¡Peliculas con Viernes! First off the Recommendation Section!

            You Should See: “Intermission”

                        “Intermission” literally has something for everyone. The movie is comprised of 11 small stories all revolving more or less around a couple’s break up. This type of narrative allows for “Intermission” to be equal parts romance and action movie, dark comedy and heist flick. It features an ensemble cast headlined by Colin Farrell and Cillian Murphy. To top it all off, the movie is set in Ireland and every one speaks with a delightful accent or brogue if you prefer. Also, you get to enjoy cinematic shots of the gorgeous Irish countryside.  

            It’s like “In Bruges” mixed with a dash of “Love Actually” but with a Tarantino kicker.

            I Should See: The Road

                        … whoops! Yes, I know that I was supposed to have watched this already. Sadly, SOMEONE (the name shall go unmentioned) dragged her feet in regards to watching “An Education,” which slowed down my Netflix considerably. Also, someone else (again name withheld) decided to move “The Crazies” up in his queue and completely forgot about “The Road.” Don’t worry though. All of this will be remedied shortly as Netflix assures me that “The Road” will arrive tomorrow at some point. My sincerest apologies for the mix up and I hope this won’t soil your opinion of the “I Should See” system. I can assure you that in NO WAY was any of this my fault. 

            Netflix Recommends

                        It’s time once to again to consult the all-powerful, all-knowing Netflix Supercomputer to see what movies we as a society should be watching. This week, if you liked a little ditty called “Inception,” Netflix thinks that you’ll just go gaga (and not in the pop music sort of way) over “Terror Inside.” This 2008 horror flick stars 80’s icon Corey Feldman as a young man who returns home with the intentions of proposing to his girlfriend. Once he arrives he notices that the whole town has been infected by a madness-inducing toxin of some sort. As if he didn’t have enough on his plate already, Feldman must also combat a college professor who seeks to weaponize the toxin. The parallels between the dream within a dream world of “Inception” and this may not be obvious to us, mere mortals, but the Supercomputer knows all. Who are we to disagree?

             Mostly Useless Movie News 

           So looks like the next installment of the “Saw” franchise is going to do something bold and risky. Something completely unheard of in today’s cinematic landscape. The movie is going to be released in… 3-D. I know, yet another bold move from a franchise that’s known for its bold moves. From what I’ve heard, the highlight of the film is going to be a scene where the film’s producers appear on screen and reach out and try to steal money from your wallet. This will be a nice change of pace from the last four “Saw” films, where that type of thing only happened at the theater’s Box Office.  

            And now for another edition of Please Remake. I’m sure that many people out there will consider what I’m about to say sacrilegious, but I assure you that I am doing this with the best of intentions in mind. Ladies and gentlemen of Hollyweird, won’t you please remake “The Evil Dead?”

            Now before you start firing off angry emails and the like, I can assure you that I am a huge fan of the original “Evil Dead” and both of its rollicking sequels. It’s one of my all time favorites. In the right hands, a new “Evil Dead” movie has off the chart potential for fun and goofy thrills.

            You could do a more serious, better acted version or you could stay true to the campy feel of the originals. Either or works perfectly fine. Also, think of the possible Bruce Campbell cameos that a new “Evil Dead” movie could provide. The Chin Himself could play a crazed woodsman of some sort of a disbelieving police chief. It would be amazing.

            Aaand, in addition to all of that. If we get “Evil Dead” back on people’s minds, who knows? Maybe Campbell and the Raimi’s could give us a third sequel to their classic? Put Ash in the modern day, sort of like that one video game tried to do that one time.        

            Go ahead. Call me a heretic. I care not! I have the best of intentions when I suggest this. Make it so Hollyweird!

            Before we officially head into the weekend I have to ask you some questions. It’s true, by the way, that ¡Peliculas con Viernes! is now the officially recognized start of the weekend in over a dozen countries.

            The first involves movie titles. The summer movie season is notorious for movie titles that try and say too much. There is nothing worse than a 20-word movie title. Also, I always love when it seems that producers couldn’t agree on one title over another so they just cram both of them in there. Like “Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World” or “Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever.” Anyway, this summer it seems that the opposite has been true. Studios have been going with titles that tell you absolutely nothing about the movie at all. Who could forget Tom Cruise’s return to the action genre “Knight and Day.” Oh that’s right. Everyone forgot it. The movie failed earlier this summer due, in part, to its terrible title. Let this be a lesson to you. If you’re going to put the word knight in your title, you darn well better have some people in suits of armor running around.

            This week, Angelina Jolie’s latest spy thriller thing hits theaters, bringing with it yet another underwhelming title: “Salt.” Ok, we get it. That’s her character’s name. Still, if the only thing your movie title does is make me thirsty, I feel like you’ve failed as a marketing department or screenwriter. Whoever branded the movie should hang their head in shame. Unless of course, Coca-Cola happens to be one of the film’s financial backers. I smell shady doings afoot. This is just a ploy to sell more soda isn’t it? You fiends! I ought to run you all through! 

            Anyway, what’s a worse title, “Salt” or “Knight and Day?” Or perhaps you have an entry of your own in mind? Please share in the comments section. Or feel free to tell me that I’m crazy and that “Salt” is an inspired title.       

            Now to the second question. Can you tell me the name of the film from which this week’s Scene of Mystery was taken? Remember, a correct guess could possibly net you $10,000 worth of stuffed animals from Janice Redington. However, there are stiff penalties if you guess incorrectly. Just ask the mysterious J, who is currently indebted to Janice Redington for $10,000 worth of stuffed animals as well as $45,000 worth of board games due to her incorrect guesses. Choose wisely my friends.

            Lastly, it’s time to bring our Literary Giants Beard of the Day series to a close.

He has authored several books that I would care never to read or hear the titles of again. He also wrote my beloved "The Christmas Carol," so he's really not all bad. Ladies and gentlemen, the "Charles Dickens."

            That’s all for this week. Have a pleasant weekend and vaya con dios.

Image Credits: Evil Dead, Dickens

So the other day I was poking around on the dealy that measures the site traffic here at Quad Blogs. Rest assured that we are doing Earth-shatteringly well in terms of attendance. Thank you for that.

            Since I’m unemployed, I had plenty of time to do some more digging and I happened upon a graph that broke up our traffic in terms of country. Naturally, most of our hits come from the Uncle Sam’s hometown, the United States of America. However, it seems that we are attracting more than a few surprise and decidedly out-of-town guests to the party.

            I got to thinking that we should take some time to acknowledge these weary travelers, those who have crossed such great internet distances just to enjoy Dinosaur Wednesday or read about the Greatest Characters of All Time. Alright, well let’s get this thing started with the first ever Quad Blogs Around the World!

            Estonia (1% of Quad Blogs total hits) 

Click to Enlarge

            That’s right my friends lovely Estonia! Called the “Baltic Tiger” by some,  Estonia shares a border with Oskars Bartulis’ homeland of Latvia. Here are some fast facts about Estonia courtesy of VisitEstonia.com.

• Population of 1.3 million
• Americans can enter Estonia without a visa
• Capital city is Tallinn, which has a population of 400,000
• Almost 50% forest
• Boasts of its lack of polar bears or traffic jams
• Official language is Estonian, which is from the Finno-Ugric language family
• Birthplace of Skype 

            So now that you have the basics down about Estonia, how about meeting (digitally-speaking) some of its more famous sons and daughters? Like Michael Roos, offensive tackle for the NFL’s Tennessee Titans. Roos was selected with the 9^th pick in the second round by the Titans and he was selected to his first Pro Bowl in 2008.

            Not a football person? How about alternative rock star Kerli? Her 2008 album “Love is Dead” charted in the Billboard Top 200. Her song “Tea Party” was featured on the 2010 album “Almost Alice,” which contained songs inspired by the hit Tim Burton film.        

            These are just some of the many, many Estonians who have made an impact on the world. Who could forget Carmen Kass, who was named the Vogue Model of the Year in 2000 or classical composer Arvo Part?

            If you plan on taking a trip to Estonia any time soon, here are a few words and phrases that could come in handy.

• Tere! – Hello!
• Aitäh! – Thank you!
• Palun! – Please
• Ma armastan sind – I love you
• Sa oled väga ilus – You are very beautiful
• Kus on… – Where is…
• Kui palju… – How much…
• Üks kohv, palun – (I’d like to have) a coffee, please

            And now for a quick tour of Estonia’s beautiful capital city Tallinn, complete with the Estonian National Anthem.

            That’s all for today my friends. Hopefully you learned a thing or two about Estonia. To all of our Estonian readers who make up that 1%, Quad Blogs thanks you for taking the time to travel to our little corner of the internet.

Our Literary Giants series continues with the consumate man's man. He is the author of "The Old Man and the Sea," among other classic novels. Ladies and gentlemen, the "Ernest Hemingway."

            Vaya con dios, or as they say in Estonia: minna koos Jumalaga.

Image Credits: Map, flag, Tallinn, Waterfall, Hemingway

Welcome to the Week of Whedon + 2 days, friends and well-wishers.

The week will be grand fun. So fun that you will want to Charleston.

It is no secret that I’m a Joss Whedon fan. I began watching Buffy in the early aughts and then I began watching ANGEL. I had a fairly unorthodox approach to both shows. I bought season three of Buffy on DVD before seeing any other season. I watched ANGEL out of order. During its original run on theWB, I’d tune in every Halloween because I thought Buffy was the perfect show for one to embrace the Halloween spirit. I believe the only Halloween episode I caught was season four’s “Fear, Itself,” a favorite of mine. I also watched “Hush” when it originally aired but that’s about it. The series ended and I would catch the odd repeat Saturday afternoons on FOX or some insane hour like 3AM on FOX. I enjoyed what I saw immensely. I researched the show and saw that season three is considered the best season of Buffy. I nearly purchased season six first. Thank the Smoke Monster that I didn’t (that is just an expression–LOST was 2 years away from existing).

I loved season three and eventually bought every season but the first. Meanwhile, I became a huge ANGEL fan after seeing “Orpheus” repeat on TheWB combined with how much I enjoyed the odd rerun I saw on FOX.

The ANGEL journey is much more out of order than Buffy. Season five began on TheWB so I began watching it while catching repeats every day on TNT after I returned from Carroll. I had the experience of knowing major plot points but unaware of how the show arrived at those plot points so it was fun, believe it or not. ANGEL quickly vaulted over Buffy as my favorite Joss Whedon show. Of course, much of ANGEL’s credit goes to David Greenwalt, Tim Minear, Jeff Bell and Steven S. DeKnight. Whedon has said that he was involved with ANGEL as much as he was with Buffy, that he read every single script. I believe that but I think it’s wrong to throw praise at Joss for a show whose vision and identity was largely shaped by David Greenwalt, Tim Minear, Jeff Bell, Mere Smith, Steven S. DeKnight, Shawn Ryan and David Fury. Joss deserves his due praise and credit for ANGEL because he co-created the show with Greenwalt but Greenwalt ran the show on a day-to-day basis.

ANGEL always seemed like the stepchild show for Joss. He’ll never love a show as much as he loves Buffy though he loved Firefly so much that he made it into a movie with the help of some friends at Universal. There are groups of fans who think Joss didn’t understand or, rather, know how to write for ANGEL which is a bold statement in and of itself to suggest Joss didn’t understand one of his own shows. His episodes had a different tone than most of ANGEL. He usually wrote stand-alone episodes like “Spin The Bottle” and “Waiting In The Wings.”

Joss directing Amy Acker and the late Andy Hallett

The big episodes of ANGEL were always reserved for Greenwalt before he left or for Minear or Bell or DeKnight. Joss did write the season five premiere, an episode that set the stage for the Wolfram & Hart era and he wrote a key season five episode when Fred dies but even “A Hole In The World” gets criticized for the Buffy-ness in the dialogue and the Buffy tone of the episode.

The quality of ANGEL never declined like the quality of Buffy did during the UPN years (seasons six and seven). Many, many fans blame Marti Noxon for destroying the seasons. Many fans point to Joss’ focus on Firefly combined with Marti Noxon running the show with a less-involved Joss. The truth is hard to find because Joss and Marti refuse to agree with the opinion of many fans and no fans were in the writer’s room on a day-to-day basis to figure out what the heck happened to the show. The duo defend many of the questionable things in both seasons passionately particularly the Spike/Buffy relationship and all of the nonsense that brought us. The same essential group of writers remained until the end, the same group that are responsible for the best Buffy season in season three and two strong seasons in four and five. Marti hired one of the most popular and best writers in the Whedon world–Drew Goddard–for season seven but he was a lone figure in a ship that had sunk and, somehow, managed to sink even further. It was like they were trapped in the box in the ocean that Connor trapped Angel in at the end of season three. Drew Goddard was not their Wesley, who pulled Angel from the depths and saved his unlife. The final two seasons of Buffy are a mystery that will remain unresolved.

In the commentary for “Chosen,” the series finale of Buffy, Joss talks about exhaustion and how he’s not beaming about the work he did for the finale. A few days ago, Marti basically said the Buffy writers were tired and, possibly, ran out of stories to tell. No matter how bad the last two seasons of the show are, they do not diminish the first five seasons of the show. Joss did some amazing work during the first five years of Buffy and he did some great work in season six like the musical but those seasons are, largely, trainwrecks. Buffy did change television and the thought behind what television could accomplish. In a commentary for Reptile Boy, Greenwalt talks about the days when hour-dramas could only be serious but Joss changed that. He not only broke genre conventions but he broke the rules. He mixed drama, comedy, horror. He helped secure the credibility of TheWB network. The most defining part of the first five seasons are the stories, the weekly episodes. The season long arcs are great too but young, aspiring screenwriters can learn a ton by watching the episodes and listening to commentary tracks. The one thing you’ll always hear is the importance of the story with Joss. He doesn’t care for a lot of cool things happening in an episode if there’s no story. “Innocence” is one of the best examples. The story is simple: a girl sleeps with her boyfriend for the first time and he’s a bad guy the morning after. Of course, in Joss’ show, the boyfriend becomes a soulless vampire.

The same structure and focus existed in ANGEL and, certainly, in Firefly. Firefly is a gem of a show. The fourteen episodes are a joy to watch with the exception being “Heart Of Gold.” If Buffy had to suffer in quality because of Firefly then the trade-off is worth it. Joss attributes the quality of the show to the circumstances surrounding the production of the show. They were in constant threat of cancellation so they put everything on the table. Joss’ devotion to Firefly is admirable. The man created nine distinct characters, characters who were fully developed with plenty of depth. Whedon said he had five years of the show planned and I believe him. Firefly is a show about the people in between the heroes. Normal folks like us. Joss took his love for the movie to the big screen after FOX cancelled it. He assembled one of the greatest casts ever with the help of his casting director. He was wise and let Tim Minear run the show with him. He had the eye to cast the lovely Christina Hendricks as Saffron. Some of Joss’ best work is, no doubt, on Firefly.

He returned to ANGEL after the end of Firefly and Buffy. Jordan Levin would cancel ANGEL and Joss disappeared from television for a few years. During the writer’s strike in 2008, he came up with Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog. It won an emmy and starred NPH, Nathan Fillion, Felicia Day. He co-wrote it with his sister-in-law and two brothers. He wrote the music and directed it. The web short won an emmy. He also brainstormed Dollhouse during this period of time, while eating lunch with Eliza Dusku. Dollhouse is a different show though it features many familiar Whedon elements. It is a story about people, identity. The first season is fairly uneven but the second season is one heck of a story. Like Firefly, the show didn’t stand much of a chance at getting a third so Joss and his group of writers that included Tim Minear left everything on the table for season two. The season had a slow start but kicked into full gear by episode four, a brilliant Sierra episode and the show doesn’t slow down until the last credit is shown.

Of course, during these projects, Joss began writing the season eight Buffy comic and overseeing the ANGEL: After The Fall comics.

He wrote a few x-men comics too, but years earlier. The season eight Buffy comics are wrapping up right now. I have not kept up with the comics because I’ve never been a comic guy. But Joss delivered a moving story, in issue five, about an unknown slayer who dies. The story for ANGEL was also riveting as we were told that Fred wasn’t absolutely gone and that ANGEL became human. Also, speaking of comics, he wrote the Fray comics about a slayer in the future and he oversaw a few Firefly comics.

His next project is supposed to be Cabin In The Woods but no one is sure whether or not MGM will ever release it. He co-wrote the movie with writer/director Drew Goddard.

will this ever be released?

He’s signed on to direct The Avengers.

Before I discovered Joss Whedon’s shows, I wanted to be a feature film screenwriter and I wanted to write horror because Kevin Williamson did. Whedon, and all of the writers he hired, showed me the possibilities of television writing and made me want to become a television writer.

The time is right spend a week and a two days compiling lists for the best of Joss Whedon. Tomorrow, the top five Firefly episodes will be counted down in numerical order from five to one. A list of Dollhouse episodes will not be done because The Foot hasn’t rewatched the show nearly as many times as Buffy, ANGEL and Firefly have been re-watched. In fact, I’ve seen the second season just once because it’s not out on DVD and I haven’t re-watched season one entirely. Yes.

TOMORROW: The Best Episodes of Firefly!

THE YOUTUBE CLIP OF THE WEEK

Joss Whedon as Numfar:

Some will consider me insane. Others will not even deem what I’m about write with a response, instead making fun of the statement I’m about to release to the world. The statement is this:

If Paul Holmgren kept Randy Jones, the 2009-2010 Philadelphia Flyers would be Stanley Cup champions of hockey.

I made this statement in my head upon reading about Danny Syvret signing with the Ducks. If you recall, Jones was traded because of Danny Syvret. The problem Homer had this season was an inability to find two decent third line bluelines. We learned the Flyers could no doubt compete with the Chicago Blackhawks. We also learned they lacked the depth needed to knock off the Blackhawks. They were very, very close. I recall the poor play of the defense in Game 5 and the subsequent exhaustion in the final game of the series. As many fans know, this is because Laviolette and the coaches had zero confidence in Bartulus, Kraijeck and Parent. There’s a few schools of thought regarding this predicament. I myself wondered whether or not the trio would’ve played better had Laviolette and Homer sent them out there instead of giving the top four massive ice time. The results could’ve been favorable and Pronger could’ve avoided his nightmarish Game 5.

Randy Jones is a solid NHL defenseman. I’m not going to argue that he’s a 2nd line blueliner. I’m just going to argue that he’s better than every 3rd line blueliner the Flyers used in the playoffs. He could’ve reduced the ice time of the big four thus preserving their freshness for the backend of the Cup finals when many players admitted that they were so tired (after game 6 of course). He would’ve helped the problem that Homer just spent about 6 million dollars to fix. Yes, the Flyers would have won the Cup if Randy Jones wasn’t waived

Also, I will ignore the money he was making. Thank you.

This piece of writing has been brought to you by a lack of anything else to write about.

Tomorrow begins The Week of Whedon + 2 days (or as we in The Foot refer to it: Seven BusinessDays of Whedon). During those 7 days, I will mostly rank episodes from all four series the man has created as well as rank the best writers he brought in to his shows and rank the best Whedon directed episodes.

The San Diego Comic Con begins tomorrow. There is no LOST panel. Jeff Jensen of EW.com will moderate a panel with JJ Abrams and Joss Whedon. Expect links to reports from that because Joss is awesome, and I’m a supporter of JJ Abrams because of his contribution to LOST in the early days before he gave full rein to Damon Lindelof who then brought in Carlton Cuse.

So, yes, The Foot will be a happenin’ place.

THE YOUTUBE CLIP OF THE WEEK

            And so here we are, washed up on the shores of another Dinosaur Wednesday!  As always, we start with the Outstanding Dinosaur Award to be given out. Each week this award is presented to the Johnny Depp of the Dinosaur universe. Remember to click on any picture to see a HI-DEF version. This week’s Outstanding Dinosaur is…

            The Deinonychus! What the heck is a Deinonychus you may ask? Well, remember the raptors in the “Jurassic Park” films? You do? Well good because those were, more or less, Deinonychus. I assume that they were called Velociraptors in the film because that name is cooler and easier to say. In actuality though, Velociraptors were heavily feathered and were about the size of modern day turkeys. Deinonychus in all likelihood also had feathers, but this isn’t a definite. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the wonderful world of creative license. I think we can all agree that seeing a couple of turkey-sized, feather monsters running around in “Jurassic Park” would not have been as what we were given. For that, Michael Crichton deserves our praise.

            Back to our friend the Deinonychus. Its name means “terrible claw,” which is probably a reference to the 5-inch-long, retractable razor blade it had on the second toe of each foot. Let’s find out some more about this delightful killing machine courtesy of our friends over at EnchantedLearning.com. It’s like the Smithsonian Institute, only with slightly more pastels.

• Length: 10 feet
• Height: 5 feet
• Weight: 175 pounds
• Lived during the Cretaceous Period, about 110 to 100 million years ago
• May have hunted in organized packs
• Among the smartest of the dinosaurs based on brain:body weight ratio, which made them incredibly lethal
• Carnivore
•  Took up residence in Western North America
• Fast runner due to light weight and long legs

            So there you have the Deinonychus! This week’s Outstanding Dinosaur Award recipient! Hopefully you will take away some useful trivia to regale your family and friends with. As I mentioned last week, the primary focus of this blog is education. We did away with that entertainment stuff years ago. Next week I will have to pick something that wasn’t in “Jurassic Park,” because all of this creative license stuff is making my head hurt.

            Now it’s time to take a peak inside of the Post Collegiate Apocalypse Steel Cage and see who is battling it out in this week’s Prehistoric Celebrity Grudge Match!

            Oh my goodness! It looks like this is going to be a handicap match! In the beige corner is the Tyrannosaurus Zord! This robotic menace was piloted by Jason, the Red Ranger in the “Mighty Morphin Power Rangers” TV show before it got all weird and crappy. The Red Ranger was the leader of the Power Rangers before Tommy showed up. After that it was clear that Tommy was the top dog because, well, he was just better. Still the T-Rex Zord was very cool and it formed the main body of the MegaZord battle suit. In the mauve corner are Mama and Papa! You may better know them as the angry parents from “The Lost World: Jurassic Park.” When their youngin’ went a-missin’ these two went on a rampage to end all rampages. One of them even got to go on a lovely San Francisco vacation later in the film. I hope this doesn’t make me a species-ist, but I don’t know which one. I can’t tell them apart. Don’t tell them I said that.

            As you well know, the only way to determine who will win this epic showdown is with the help of the PCA Dinosaur Algorithm. Some say that the algorithm knows exactly where pi ends and that it has done everything “Man vs. Food” has done…twice. Either or but it is the only way we have to determine a winner! I’m pushing the button! Pushing… hmm. The stupid thing isn’t working. Well, that’s a nuisance. Oh, wait a minute! Wrong button. Here we go!

            Can you believe it! The Tyrannosaurus Zord has come out victorious after some last minute interference by none other than Tommy’s Dragon Zord! I really thought Mama and Papa had this one in the bag, especially after they put the T-Rex Zord through that stack of tables but NO! The Dragon Zord shows up and saves the day for the Power Rangers! We should have known better than to call this a handicap match. When you mess with one Power Ranger, by God, you mess with them all.

            Of course, the Dragon Zord is in no way a Dinosaur or a Prehistoric being of any sort, making this whole thing VERY illegal but we’re going to allow it. The algorithm was distracted by a spectator holding up a sign featuring a sequence of 1’s and 0’s when the interference took place.

            And now on to the “Jurassic Park Clip of the Week!”

            Lastly, how about another round of Junior Archaeologist Fossil Detective Time? Remember, all you need to do in order to win a shiny new quarter is to correctly identify BOTH the fossil pictured and the Dinosaur it belonged to. Let’s take a look at this week’s fossil!

What could it be? Believe it or not it's just...

            Oh boy! Submit your answers in the comment section for a chance at the shiny new quarter. (WARNING: The shiny-ness of the quarter may be a bit exaggerated)

            As always, we shall conclude with a new Beard of the Day! Today marks the second installment of our Literary Giants series.

He may look like an American Civil War general, but I can assure you he is not. He happens to be the author of such novels and "The Brothers Karamazov" and "Crime and Punishment." Ladies and gentlemen, the "Fyodor Dostoevsky."

            Thanks for reading! Vaya con dios!

Image Credits: deinonychus, size, t-rex zord, mama and papa, dragonzord, dostoevsky

Hmm… a name that I wish I didn’t know. Boy, this is a tough decision. Huh… Oh I know! How about Matt Walker! The man who by this point in time has likely already been waived because his cap space is more valuable than he is.

             Ladies and gentlemen, this is my nightmare. The NHL is gradually turning into the NBA. I can’t stand teams trading for players simply because they won’t be there the next season (Sammy Dalembert, much?) or in Walker’s case, five minutes after the deal was completed. This is a troubling trend and one that I have no interest in seeing continue. I like my players to, oh I don’t know, have value as players! I don’t care about next season per say and I don’t want to hear about the cap. There is nothing more deflating then hearing about a trade your favorite team made solely as a business move.

             If this hooey continues, the next thing you know, Sidney Crosby is going to be holding a one hour special on ESPN to dish out his thoughts on the economy.

            Ha ha. Silly me. I forgot that ESPN doesn’t do NEWS anymore. Replace the word “economy” in that sentence with “Lindsey Lohan” and you should have something more up ESPN’s alley.

            Simon Gagne’s exile to Tampa reminds me of Ville Leino being handed to the Flyers prior to the NHL trade deadline. The Detroit Red Wings needed to clear cap space and decided that Leino was expendable so they sent him here for OK Tollefsen and a fifth round draft pick. I was very critical of the move (from Detroit’s perspective obviously) because OKT stinks and Leino turned out to be one of the Flyers best players come playoff time. The move made no sense other than to alleviate cap troubles. 

            To put it bluntly, if NHL GM’s aren’t smart enough or disciplined enough to avoid getting themselves into these kind of cap situations, then maybe they’re in the wrong line of work. While I appreciate the one-eye-to-the-future mentality that goes along with his sort of move, it still is hard to stomach as a fan. I like my trades to make my team better… directly. Trading for cap space doesn’t accomplish that. It’s an even bigger gamble than trading for draft picks. At least there is no chance that the draft pick will decide to sign with Vancouver because it’s scared to play in Philadelphia.

             Homer, you just gave away the heart of your team while stepping on the hearts of your fan base in the process. You better know what the heck you’re doing or else you’re apt to find your name on here one of these days. Ask Aja just how much fun that is. The answer is not much. Not for you. Not for me. Not for the poor souls out there reading this nonsense.

            Ok, well that’s all for that. Let’s take a look at the answer to last week’s Scene of Mystery!

             So there you have it. The answer was “American Pie: Band Camp.” Bryan and Chris, you two were very close. Mysterious J, not so much. How dare you just assume that everything I do ties back to “Terminator 2″ in some way or another. I am offended sir or madam! Sadly, because no one guessed correctly, the $10,000 worth of stuffed animals will remain unawarded and the Mysterious J now owes Janice Redington $45,000 worth of board games for guessing so very incorrectly. Bryan and Chris will not be penalized because their answers were significantly closer. And now for today’s Beard of the Day! Hot on the heels of the wildly successful Famous Thinkers series, comes our Literary Giants Series.

He's one of America's most prolific authors. He's composed more of your nightmare's than you even realize. He doesn't like the "Twilight" books one iota. He has the heart of a small boy, which he likes to keep in a jar on his desk. Or so the legend goes... Ladies and gentlemen, the "Stephen King."

             That’s all for today. I need some time to compose myself. Luckily, nothing cheers me up quite like a good Dinosaur Wednesday, so I should be in rare form tomorrow. Hopefully. Vaya con dios.

And so this is how Simon Gagne’s tenure with the Flyers ends. Not with a bang, but a whimper. Matt Walker and a 4th round pick for one of the greatest Flyers players of all time. This is what happens when you paint yourself into a corner so tightly that the entire league can’t help but laugh and take advantage.

           The least Paul Holmgren could have done would have been to ship Gagne to the Atlanta Thrashers for six first round picks and two top prospects. You know, like the rest of the league does when they run into salary cap problems. Essentially, this trade seems to boil down to Homer’s version of Ville Leino for Ole Tollefsen and a 5th round pick. Walker will be immediately waived and his cap space used for other things. Still, the move hurts.  

            Well, it seems that the loss of Simon Gagne was inevitable. Like Judgment Day. It just had to go down, no matter what humanity tried to do to avoid it.

            I guess that means that McG is going to be the Flyers next General Manager after all.

            Well, rather than continue on with all this mopey and melodramatic mumbo jumbo, how about we look back at some of the good times we shared with Simon? Turn this collective frown upside down. Remember. Simon’s contract IS up at the end of this season. Maybe next summer we can sign him back on the cheap. That is, once someone buys Homer an abacus or at the very least teaches him how to count on his fingers AND his toes. Salary cap math is hard…

            And now for a very special Beard of the Day.

Ladies and gentlemen, today is a sad day for Flyers fans world wide as Simon Gagne begins his journey into the hockey heart of darkness, aka Tampa Bay, Florida. In honor of Simon's 10 years of service to the Flyers, we here at Beard of the Day have decided to retire his playoff beard. Please observe with me a moment of silence as we raise his beard into the PCA rafters.

            Click here for a very special Beard retirement video… gags tribute_0002 

            Vaya con dios Simon.

Well, it’s a sad day for Flyers nation because Simon Gagne has been traded to the Tampa Bay Lightning. It seems reasonable to assume Homer will use the cap space to sign the man who lost his job to Kari Lehtonen. No, that is not a ringing endorsement. Trust me. I had Kari Lehtonen on my fantasy hockey team for a season. Bad times. The man I refer to is Marty Turco.

Gagne was the longest tenured Flyer and the 2nd longest tenured Philadelphia athlete. Simply, Simon Gagne is awesome. I had to offer a small portion of today’s blog to Simon Gagne. Fans could argue that without Gagne returning in Game 4 of the semis against Boston that history would not have been made. Without Gagne’s amazing game 6 OT goal in the eastern conference finals, there would be no game 7 against Tampa Bay in 2004.

All we fans can hope for is that Homer finally devotes himself to understanding the cap because the dude has traded a huge amount of offense in the last year and a half to create cap space. Thankfully one of those deals landed the team Pronger. But I’m still not a fan of Upshall for Carcillo. Also, this quote from Raw Charge does not make one feel any better about getting Matt Walker and his 1.7 million dollar cap-hit plus the knowledge that he’ll just be waived to create more cap-space.

” Walker is solid but not flashy… Yet he’s overpaid while the Bolts have a load of defensemen in the system just waiting to prove themselves. For the Flyers to take Walker and his $1.7 Million per-year contract off the Bolts hands is breathtaking… Especially while wanting o clear cap space.”

Check out Post Collegiate Apocalypse for more Simon Gagne stuff.

Anywho, I write in here today because I have a happy announcement. There is a good chance the only one delighted by the announcement is me, the announcer. It is safe to say that The Foot has not been the same since LOST has ended. I know I gained a new reader or two since LOST ended because there was nothing to write about. I’m not Jeff Jensen and I do not have a long theory about how the Island had a flashforward 2,000 years before the characters arrived on the Island. As any loyal reader knows, I loathe the world of LOST theorists. In fact, I’ve barely surfed LOST message boards since the show ended. I wrote my 10,000 word finale piece and decided to let it be for awhile. I have not even been on pins and needles awaiting Damon and Carlton to end their radio silence. I may’ve sent Damon a tweet asking about the duration of radio silence but I have not experienced the feelings I felt after every season, and that is because of the conclusion. There were no insane cliffhangers. I’m happy with how the series ended and the story that Damon, Carlton and all of the writers told.

Obviously, the announcement involves LOST. I pre-ordered the final season on DVD last night with an Amazon giftcard. I even spent extra cash because I want the DVD on the day it is released. I know I said that Jacob’s Foot is no more; however, I lied. Jacob’s Foot has one last thing left to do and that is review the DVD. This DVD review will not be your typical DVD review. My initial plan has the review broken into four parts. Perhaps I will write about the entire season again, using the complete knowledge I have of the sideways. I will surely review all four commentaries in the format of an episode review like I did for the “Because You Left” commentary. I will review the bonus features and the deleted scenes. I look forward to the scene cut from “What They Died For” in which Claire defiantly stands up to MIB. I will review the LOST: On Location(s) because I’m a huge fan of that feature.

But, really, Jacob’s Foot has always been a place where I could write 4,000 words on an original episode. Jacob’s Foot, in all actuality, captured my experience of watching LOST as a fan. As all LOST aficionados know, the DVD features the final original piece of storytelling from Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse. The title is “The New Man In Charge.” It is 12 minutes of film devoted to Hurley and Ben’s life on the Island after Jack died and the Ajira plane left. Entertainment Weekly released a still in their latest issue. Here is the picture:

Image Credit: EW.com/ABC

Michael Emerson told EW’s Adam B. Vary that Ben is going to Dharma installations and closing them down. Emerson notes that there are surprises and answers given in the 12 minutes. For the final time, I will watch original LOST content and then write about it and then post it to Quad Blogs. Anyone who wonders if I can write 4,000 words on 12 minutes, the answer is yes because I wrote over 1,000 for a webisode last year during the hiatus. I promise the big verbose entries are on the horizon.

In 1 month, Jacob’s Foot returns for the final time and will be around for as much time I need to cover all of the DVD and any interviews Damon and Carlton might give.

Until then, expect the usual nonsense in the spinoff of Jacob’s Foot. I’m planning a Week of Whedon. I’m still unsure about reviewing Mad Men. Every now and then, I’ll chime in about the current seasons of True Blood and Entourage.

THE YOUTUBE CLIP OF THE WEEK

Welcome once again to ¡Peliculas Con Viernes! As always we begin with the Recommendation Section.

            This week’s You Should See is “Inception,” the brand spanking new film from writer/director Christopher Nolan. I posted my spoiler-free, exuberantly fanboyish review yesterday in case you need some convincing to fork over the $10 for a ticket. Trust me, you won’t regret it. “Inception” is an incredibly smart neo noir thriller blended with a summer popcorn blockbuster. And it’s got Leo DiCaprio. Something for everybody really.

            As for me, this week’s I Should See is “The Road” starring Viggo Mortensen, a small child and a whole bunch of post apocalyptic cannibals. I read the book by Cormac McCarthy and enjoyed it thoroughly so I’m very much looking forward to finally checking out the movie.

            Now it’s time to contact the Netflix supercomputer for the latest Netflix Recommends. This is where we give the DVD-by-mail juggernaut a chance to travel down from its place atop the mountain and impart a pearl of knowledge or two upon us common, movie-going folk. This week the supercomputer has decided that it you liked “V for Vendetta,” then you’ll absolutely LOVE “The Mutant Chronicles.” This movie stars Thomas Jane and my beloved Ron Pearlman. It follows the trials and tribulations of humanity as it battles a need breed of mutant, called the “NecroMutant,” set on destroying the world. Those silly mutants! When will they learn? You may wonder what mutants have to do with a smart, social critique like “V for Vendetta” but that is for the Netflix supercomputer to know and you, if you’re brave, to find out.

            I’ve been fortunate enough to see THREE movies in theater since we last spoke. That may seem pretty impressive for a guy with no job, but such is the beauty of having a business associate who works in a theater. I’ll give you a quick rundown of my experiences in Journeys to the Cineplex.

            Last Saturday I saw “Despicable Me,” a very solid animated film featuring the vocal talents of Steve Carrell, Russell Brand and Jason Segal. If it wasn’t for a little movie about toys, this would be the best animated movie of the year, but there is no shame in being second to Pixar. “Despicable Me” is painfully cute and downright hilarious. The movie’s plot centers on two super villains battling it out for global supremacy. It is a pretty brilliant and original concept. Certainly it’s a nice breather from the usual superhero fair. This movie got me wondering: why no love for vocal actors at the Academy Awards? How about “Best Lead Vocal Actor in an Animated Film?” What about actresses? Supporting cast? Why the heck not? The vocal work in “Despicable Me” is stunningly good. Come on Academy! Why don’t you get with the times?

                        Grade: A-

                        Rewatchability: High

                        See it: In Theaters

            This week I also got to see “Predators,” the second sequel/reboot of the beloved sci-fi franchise. “Predators” is a very entertaining action movie. Don’t go in expecting “Gone with the Wind” or you’ll be sorely disappointed. The characters are all pretty cookie cutter, but there are some standouts. Adrien Brody more than proves that he can be an action movie leading man. He does a little of the Christian Bale Bat-growl though, so be warned. It didn’t bother me. I thoroughly dug his performance. Topher Grace turns in yet another strong and against type performance. I feel like he doesn’t get his due. The script was fairly clever but its problems stem from it being, at times, a bit undercooked. Very cool plot elements are introduced, but very little is made of them. The best example of this is a big revelation about the Predator species. Sadly, not much ever comes from it. Also, the film’s final battle scene is a bit underwhelming to say the least. The movie needed a better payoff than that. Still, I was entertained throughout and that is what a movie like “Predators” is designed to do.

                        Grade: B-

                        Rewatchability: Medium

                        See it: In Theaters maybe, definitely on DVD

            The last movie I saw was “Inception.” Again, the full review is up so check it out if you have the time!

            This week’s Mostly Useless Movie News comes courtesy of Joblo.com. It seems that starring in one god-awful “Ghost Rider” movie just wasn’t enough for Nicholas Cage, who recently confirmed that he’s on board for a sequel. Unless the sequel will explain to me just what the heck was going on in the first film while at the same time giving me my money back, I won’t be seeing this.

            And now for the Scene of Mystery! The game is simple: guess which film the scene below comes from and you could possibly win a fictional king’s ransom in return! The prize, as always, is $10,000 worth of stuffed animals from Janice Redington, a mere drop in the bucket as far as her collection is concerned. Naturally, there are a laughable amount of stipulations involved with claiming this prize and if you guess incorrectly, there are stiff penalties. Post your answers in the comment section… if you dare! 

            Finally, here is today’s Beard of the Day, as we bring an end to the Famous Thinkers series.

            That’s all for today! Thanks for reading and have a safe and productive weekend! Vaya con dios!

Image Credits: Da Vinci