Quad Blogs

Another season of Man Vs. Wild has concluded. For the season finale itself, the show delivered another Behind The Scenes episodes. Behind The Scenes usually features the crew commenting on the various challenges and locales they’ve been to. This episode included footage and commentary for some of the newer episodes. The blueprint for shooting the show doesn’t change. I didn’t learn anything I didn’t know already about the process of shooting the show but there were moments of great humor and insight into specific challenges in some of the shoots for this season. I’ll just dive into the highlights:

-The best part of the Behind The Scenes episodes is whenever the crew has the same reaction that viewers did to Bear’s antics. For example, four minutes or so were spent on the shark-infested waters in Northern Australia. I wrote about the episode a few weeks ago. Dan Etheridge, the second camera man for Man Vs. Wild, described the island as the scariest locale he’s been to because sharks were everywhere–in the shallows, in the deep part of the ocean. Bear had to go from island-to-island through the shark-infested waters. The most memorable bit was when Bear felt a shark hit his leg as more sharks got closer. Bear and his cameramen eventually sprinted out of the waters. Additional shots of the waters were included for this episode. In the actual episode, only one shot of a shark in the shallows made the final cut. There were several shots of sharks hanging out in the shallows.

-Speaking of perilous situations, the crew commented on the alligator populated lands of the Northern Territory in Australia. This episode had the memorable moment when Bear fought an alligator, briefly, for food before conceding the fight to the alligator. The crew commented on the tough climb Bear had to get to the other side of the water. The tree he had to climb was rotted so Simon nor Dan could follow him. Bear nearly dropped but he didn’t. Once again, additional shots were in this episode of alligators bubbling beneath the water. Australia’s an insane country but I’d still visit there if I could.

-The funniest part of the Behind The Scenes episodes was the segment about what Bear eats in the wild. The series has done episodes about the food Bear eats so, again, this wasn’t new ground nor was the information. In North Africa, Bear collected a bunch of bugs that crawled into his camp because of the fire for breakfast in the morning. Bear decided to make a bug patty. He squished every bug and combined it all into something that resembled a beef patty. Simon nor Dan ever turn the camera from Bear when he’s eating something. They basically force Bear to swallow the entire thing. After Bear finished his bug patty, he said that it was a truly terribly way to begin the morning.

Overall, there isn’t a whole lot to write about with an episode that comments on the series itself. As I mentioned at the top, I’m very familiar with the Behind The Scenes stuff because there’s been a few of these kinds of episodes in the past. The crew deserves their time in the spotlight because they do everything Bear does (well only the camera men). The entire crew does a tremendous job on each and every episode.

I posted my Terriers review about an hour ago so check that out below. The Week 3 NFL picks won’t be posted until late tonight.

SCREENPLAY OF THE DAY

Treme–”Pilot–Written By David Simon & Eric Overmyer

http://leethomson.myzen.co.uk/Treme_1x01_-_Pilot.pdf

For an 80 minute pilot, the screenplay is only 66 pages. Remember: Treme is a show that features a lot of music. If you’re a David Simon fan and you don’t have HBO, read the Treme pilot.

THE YOUTUBE CLIP OF THE WEEK

Donal Logue as Hank Dolworth in Terriers

Sometimes, network executives ask a showrunner to write a few episodes that act as a sort of pilot for any viewer just jumping. When this happens, episodes can be frustrating because nothing really happens in a story. Joss Whedon’s Dollhouse found themselves in a spot where they had to promote the sixth episode fiercely because nothing happens in the first five episodes (besides the awesome episode two). In fact, Joss had do this with Firefly as well, and possibly ANGEL. I don’t have confirmation on ANGEL though. I digress though.

After last week’s Terriers, an episode that acted as a sort-of pilot, the third episode abandons the pilot quality and delivers two good stories about Hank and Britt.

In “Dog & Pony,” Hank’s dark side appeared as he dealt with his struggles to pay for his house and his ex-wife’s impending marriage. The dark side doesn’t exactly disappear in the episode so the light-hearted Hank that dominated the pilot was clearly outside of the norm. I’m fine with this. I like the anti-hero in the hero’s role. Right now, Hank a mix between the two identities. In “Change Partners,” he’s eating breakfast, lunch and dinner with his dark side. Not only does he steal his ex-wife’s fiance’s credit card information to put seedy charges on the card but he sleeps with another man’s wife; however, that story is much more complicated than it sounds. Britt remains unhappy with Hank because of the way Hank’s used the money they earned without consulting Britt.

The case for this week comes to Hank after he’s rejected for a loan. One of the bosses brings him to the office to cut a deal with Hank: if Hank captures one photograph of the boss’ wife with another man, the loan will be his. It’s a simple enough job complicated by the revelation that the boss is a masochist who likes the idea of his wife with another man. The wife, played by Olivia Williams, has been telling her husband about her infidelity even though she’s never been unfaithful to her husband. She just loves him very much, and she even describes this behavior as masochistic. Hank is desperate for the house loan so he hatches a plan for the wife to keep her husband and for him to keep his bank loan. He enlists Britt, with permission from Katie, to create the affair. The plan seems to work. The boss promises Hank that he’ll prepare the papers.

Meanwhile, Hank, Gretchen and her fiance get together to talk about the house. Hank didn’t expect the fiance to join the two. The dinner unfolds rather awkwardly, especially when the fiance asks Hank to look into the credit card stuff. Afterwards, when Gretchen and her fiance leave, Hank throws the leftovers on the floor because he’s frustrated, angry and, mostly, in pain. The wife shows up at the door to thank Hank but the two eventually end up in bed together. The next day, Hank goes to the mortgage offices to sign the papers but finds Masochist unhappy because he figured out the affair was created for the sake of the loan. Hank loses his cool and tells the guy, plainly, that he knows his wife cheated on him because he slept with the man’s wife three times last night. Soon after the papers are half-signed and Hank leaves, the man jumps out of the building to his death. All this guy wanted was a reason to die.

A parallel exists between Hank and the Masochist. In the previous two episodes, various people have told Hank about the kind of pain he’s going to experience living in a house he used to live in with Gretchen. The house places Hank in situations in which he has to interact with his ex-wife frequently, a painful situation in and of itself. Hank’s a masochist in a way as well. He could’ve walked away from the house but chose not to. There are signs that Hank could harm himself in the way the boss eventually harmed himself. Hank won’t commit suicide but he’s a recovering alcoholic so he might return to the bottle. His partnership with Britt is already on shaky ground, mostly due to the house and Gretchen. Hank’s desperate to show Gretchen that he can return to the man she once loved and he won’t allow himself to think that Gretchen simply moved on.

This episode is about relationships and the transformative nature of relationships. Gretchen is now a girl who is uncomfortable eating around Hank. Olivia Williams’ character, whose name I forget, would’ve been healthier by walking away from her husband. Instead, she does what he wants and then deals with the news that her actions caused the man to kill himself. Britt and Katie also deal with a transformative piece of information.

We’ve known that Britt was a thief before he met Katie. His old thief buddy, Ray, returns to recruit Britt for a job. Britt’s reluctant. Ray decides to scare Britt by breaking into the house and following Katie to school. Additionally, Ray dangles a piece of Britt’s past as a threat in his recruitment. Britt agrees but quickly arranges for Hank to take Ray’s gun when Britt briefly holds up the bar where Ray first appeared in the episode. Ray will be going back to jail.

The important part of the story is Britt’s past and the information will transform his relationship with Katie. A week before he met her, he and Ray broke into Katie’s apartment and stole a few things. Britt saw her picture on the refrigerator, went to the bar and met her. Katie’s temporarily disgusted and orders Britt to leave the house; however, in an episode full of weird kinds of sexuality, Katie tells Britt to wait five minutes while she undresses, and instructs him to break in through the window. Britt’s speechless and nods. The dog barks at Katie and she says, “don’t judge me.” So, at least, one relationship doesn’t self-destruct because of change.

As the series moves forward, we’ll probably discover shadier things about Britt because he and Hank aren’t the typical heroes. We live in a post-modern existence, after all. The episode was very strong. Great character development and good story progression.

I particularly enjoyed the guest spot by Olivia Williams, who once portrayed Adelle Dewitt in Dollhouse. She was outstanding in Dollhouse.

Phoef Sutton wrote the episode. Guy Ferland directed it.

THE YOUTUBE CLIP OF THE WEEK

My friends, the middle of the work week has arrived, bringing with it the soothing, leisurely promise of the weekend and, of course, Dinosaur Wednesday!

            Let’s begin by handing out this week’s Outstanding Dinosaur Award! Each week this prestigious honor is given to the Dinosaur that is least likely to be written out of a sitcom with no explanation. This week’s Outstanding Dinosaur is the controversial, the notorious, the cuddly? Well maybe not so much the last one. This week’s Outstanding Dinosaur is…

Click to Enlarge

             The Microraptor! Amazing! In fact, it was so amazing, that EnchantedLearning.com fainted when it heard the news and thusly will sit this one. Instead, let us check out a few facts on this tiny feathered beastie courtesy of that bastion of prehistoric knowledge: About.com!

• About 2 feet long
• Weight: 3-4 pounds
• Had four wings, one on each forearm and hind leg
• Lived during the early Cretaceous Period (130-125 million years ago)
• Spent its time high in the treetops of Asia’s woodlands
• Probably used its wings to glide much like a flying squirrel
• Some believe that the Microraptor is the missing link proving Dinosaurs evolution into modern day birds, while others think that it was simply one of nature’s bizarre experiments
• One of the smallest known Dinosaurs

            Has your interest been peaked? Want to learn more about the Microraptor? Check out this hour long NOVA documentary for more information on this potential game-changer.

            Alright, moving right along to the 2010 Prehistoric Celebrity King of the Steel Cage tournament! Today marks the beginning of the second round of our competition. Remember, the winner will receive a MILLION dollars worth of Janice’s hooded sweatshirts, along with an invaluable amount of bragging rights and a super-dooper secret mystery prize!

            In order to determine a winner, we rely on the patented PCA Dinosaur Algorithm. Some say that the Algorithm once wrestled a bear with its bare hands and that it salts the sidewalks outside of its home in July… just because. All we know is that it’s the only method we have of determining a winner. Let’s go right to our first match!

            In the plaid corner we have Rex (PCGM Record: 3-0-0, Odds: 2-1), the beloved film actor and star of the “Toy Story” franchise. Across from him in the lavender corner is one of the vicious, blood thirsty raptors (PCGM Record: 1-1-0, Odds: 20-1) that stalked Sam Neill and Laura Dern in the first “Jurassic Park” film. Hows about we fire up the Algorithm to see who comes out on top: the pretournament favorite or the cerebral assassin with the new .500 record?

            Rexy does it again! This adorable locomotive is sure going to be hard to stop as it plows its way deeper and deeper into the tournament! On to the second match of the evening!

            In the cerulean corner is the Spinosaurus (PCGM Record: 1-0-0, Odds: 17-1), the star of the third film in the “Jurassic Park” series. In the dark and cryptic sky blue corner is the Mysterious Contestant (PCGM Record: 1-0-0)! Noted film producer and time-wasting enthusiast Drake Stone recently sets the Mystery Contestant’s odds to win the entire tournament at 3-1! Apparently, he’s loved what he’s seen out of this enigma so far. Let’s turn to the Algorithm to find out if Drake Stone’s faith will be rewarded or if the Giant Giant-Killer will reign taco supreme.     

            The Mystery Contestant comes out on top! Incredible stuff! Just who is the impenetrable, seemingly unstoppable force? Out of what unknown and curious corner of the map did it come to us from? Only time will tell…

            How about a quick recap of where we stand in our tournament thus far?

            Now on to the ‘Jurassic Park’ Clip of the Week! 

            Lastly, it’s time for a very special Beard of the Day!

He wanted to create an attraction that was more than just smoke and mirrors. He wanted to take your breath away. He wanted to change the world. Sadly, his creation turned on him like a modern day Dr. Frankenstein. Jims and Pams, the man behind Jurassic Park, the "John Hammond!"

            That’s all for now. Ask-A-Dinosaur will be up tomorrow. Thanks for reading and as always: vaya con dios!

Image Credits: Hammond

SCREENPLAY OF THE DAY

Today marks the sixth year anniversary of the LOST series premiere. The diehard fans actually commemorate this day. I count myself among the diehards and I celebrated the 5th year anniversary of the premiere last September 22 in a post that featured the greatest scenes in LOST. I think half of the scenes I used have been deleted by YouTube but search the archives to find a post that definitely takes the longest to load.

I haven’t actively searched for a show to replace LOST like many fans. I read critics and fans speculate about what the next LOST will be. Well, in my opinion, there will never be another LOST. LOST was just a uniquely, awesome show and I’ll never have as much fun watching other scripted television as I had watching LOST. I don’t need another LOST either because I own the entire series on television. I don’t actively search for the next Buffy or ANGEL or Firefly. No other shows could be those shows, if you know what I mean.

I miss those early season one days because the kind of fan nonsense and hate that dominated the majority of message boards during the majority of season six didn’t exist nor did the post-LOST animosity. In those days, fans simply went head over heels for the show after Walkabout ended. But oh well. I don’t care if people were pissed off by the ending. I loved it.

There’s no finer time to give the LOST pilot the Screenplay of the Day. J.J. Abrams and Damon Lindelof wrote it. LOST had a very unique writing style. The intensity of the episodes began in the scripts. There are F bombs all over the pages. I love reading the LOST scripts. Hopefully, one day, every script is available to read.

LOST–”Pilot Parts 1 &2″–Written By J.J. Abrams and Damon Lindelof http://leethomson.myzen.co.uk/Lost/Lost_1x01_-_Pilot.pdf

THE YOUTUBE CLIP OF THE WEEK

BEYOND SURVIVAL

In the latest episode of Beyond Survival with Les Stroud, Les visits the Hewa tribe of Papua New Guinea in the South Pacific to witness first-hand the Cumoutin ceremony. The ceremony was banned by missionaries and many people defined the Hewa people as cannibals because of the ceremony. Unlike the other episodes, the focus isn’t on recording and preserving the culture of the Hewa’s because the Hewas their culture and way of life is in no danger.

The central focus of the episode is the Cumoutin ceremony. Despite the narration from Les about the ghoulish atmosphere of the ceremony, the Coumoutin is very spiritual. Les defines the ceremony as a celebration of life and avoids comparing it to a wake or a funeral. The funeral comparison is apt though. The Hewas want to release the spirit of the deceased into the heavens through the ceremony. Death itself doesn’t release the spirit. The Hewas mourn the deceased like family and friends mourn the deceased at a funeral. The camera caught shots of the people with tears in their eyes and heads bowed. The Cumoutin lets the Hewas say their final goodbye. The episode closes with the ceremony and Les even departs early so they can continue as they wish. The beginning and end of the episode focuses on the Cumoutin.

The rest of the episode is spent hunting and gathering with the Hewas. It was a very simple episode. Les Stroud didn’t overdramatize like he tends to do in his narrations. Their hunts take a long time. The Hewas use a hunting dog to sniff out game. Once the game is found, they create small holes for the smaller Hewas to enter in attempts to capture the game. The dog found a small rat. Several hours were spent working to catch the rat but the work didn’t end with a catch. The hunting dog got stuck inside of the hole and the Hewas worked as fast as they could before the wet mud collapsed and kill the dog. The dogs yelps were heartbreaking. Luckily, the Hewas freed him and the dog immediately wanted to continue the hunt.

In the forty-some minutes of the episode, I learned very little about the Hewas besides the Cumoutin. In previous episodes, I had a good amount of knowledge about the cultures, the way their society worked, gender roles, etc. For whatever reason Les spent much less time teaching the viewers about the Hewas. Les takes about a minute, at night, to talk about how he’s gotten used to the constant stares when he’s in a completely new environment and among new people. Les complains about the jungle treks a few times and notes that he can’t keep up with the Hewas. Mostly, Les focuses on Les’ experience rather than the Hewas.

Les should never return to Papua New Guinea because he hated it in the series finale of Survivorman and the hatred hasn’t disappeared.

Besides the filming of the Cumoutin ceremony, this episode completely ignored the premise of the series. It’s safe to call this episode the worst episode of the series.

Keri Russel is adorable.

A couple of years ago, Mitchell Hurwitz created the best American comedy ever. Yes, even better than Seinfeld in my humble opinion. The show went by the name of Arrested Development. Since the cancellation of the show in 2006, rumors about a movie have surfaced every now and then. Arrested Development is as beloved a series as it was when it was actually being produced. Arrested Development now follows the careers of the cast and the top writers. The actors have more or less been defined by their time on Arrested Development and anything Mitch Hurwitz writes will be compared to Arrested Development. Any review of the newest show from the AD writers, Running Wilde, contains a paragraph about Arrested Development and, inevitably, uses the perfection that was Arrested Development in the evaluation about the worth.

Is that fair though? The same sort of situation happens to bands. If a band writes an outstanding debut album, that album will follow the band around for the rest of the band’s existence. Should the band stray from the roots of the first record, the fanbase will turn on the band for failing to write the same record. Critics insist they do not want Running Wild to be another Arrested Development; however, the widespread Arrested Development content in the reviews leads one to assume critics actually want Running Wilde to be Arrested Development 2.

The only similarity between the two shows is Will Arnett as Steve Wilde. Arnett basically plays Gob Bluth. Now, Wilde is the main character so the Arrested Development comparisons cannot be ignored. At times, the show feels like a spinoff with Gob Bluth. But Running Wilde is different. Arrested Development was about a rich family that had no interest in changing and, well, lacked the self-awareness to think about change. Running Wilde is about change.

Steven Wilde is self-involved and the kind of person who would give himself a humanitarian award just because he wants an award. He surrounds himself with yes men and friends whom he actually pays to be his friend; however, Wilde becomes a little less self-involved when Emmy, an old girl he once kissed and built a tree house for, attends his humanitarian award party. Emmy is an actual humanitarian, working to preserve indigenous cultures in the Amazon jungle. She also has a daughter, Puddle, who narrates the show, as well as a goofy humanitarian husband (played by David Cross).

Emmy, despite herself, experiences the same feelings for Wilde that she had as a young girl. Emmy also wants Wilde to ask his father stop an oil project in the location of her the people she’s been protecting. Wilde simply moves the people into his house. But Emmy eventually decides to live with Wilde because she is good influence on him. She wants him to change, to become a better man. You see, Wilde took the fall for Puddle, who didn’t speak for six months, and took the blame for lying to Emmy about a doctor and diagnosis regarding Puddle. Somehow, this led Emmy to decide that she wanted to live with Wilde.

The pilot wasn’t very good. The laughs were few and far between; however, when the laughs came, they were good laughs. The supporting characters have potential as well as the inevitable clash between Wilde and Emmy’s husband. I don’t have issues with the two main characters either. Emmy is the archetype of a likable do-gooder and Keri Russel is so endearing and cute. Wilde’s a bit of retread of Gob but that could change as the show progresses. I liked the first two acts but the third act ruined the pilot for me. I also strongly disliked Puddle as the narrator. The child narrator pretty much destroys any hope I had for some classic Hurwitz/Vallely humor.

I don’t think I’ll write weekly about Running Wilde. There isn’t too much to write about. Ideally, I like to write a good amount of an episode. I’m going to continue watching though because Hurwitz has earned it. And I think the show will improve.

SCREENPLAY OF THE DAY

Party Down–”Steve Guttenberg’s Birthday” written by John Enbom http://www.zen134237.zen.co.uk/Party_Down/Party_Down_2x05_-_Steve_Guttenbergs_Birthday.pdf

Party Down was a comedy that barely anybody watched and it was brilliant. Thanks for not watching America, you so and sos. I won’t say much about the episode except that it’s awesome. At least read the damn scripts for the show if you didn’t watch the actual series.

THE YOUTUBE CLIP OF THE WEEK

Forwards

            In: Nikolai Zherdev, Jody Shelley

Summer's over Richards and Carter. Time to get back to work.

            Out: Simon Gagne, Arron Asham

            The Simon Gagne trade was simply a sad byproduct of the salary cap era. In the old days, Gags would likely have retired as a Flyer.  Teams just can’t always operate that way anymore. Though roster decisions are the norm now and sometimes veteran players need to be moved in order to allow younger ones to blossom.

            And boy do the Flyers have some interesting young guys in the fold. The first two years of Claude Giroux’s NHL career have been a bit odd. You normally expect a young guy to fold as the pressure of the season increases, but not Giroux. He’s had ok regular seasons, good not great, but tinged with flashes of brilliance here and there. However, when the post season rolls around, the man they call “G” takes off. Giroux is already a proven clutch performer and a dependable two-way player at the tender age of BLANK, now he just needs to get his act together to ensure his team makes it past the regular season and into the NHL’s main event.

            Hopefully former #2 overall pick James van Riemsdyk can build on his good, but wildly inconsistent rookie campaign. It was clear last year that JVR just ran out of gas as the season rolled on and he struggled mightily down the stretch. Not that anyone should have been surprised by that. Inconsistency is the name of the game for most rookies, as they settle into the NHL. After last season’s deep playoff run, it seems safe to assume that JVR’s pretty well settled in at this point. Now its time to see what the young guy from New Jersey can really do.

            The continued development of those two, coupled with bounce back years from captain Mike Richards, Jeff Carter and Scott Hartnel, 82 games of Ville Leino and a healthy (and scarily motivated) Danny Briere should, in theory, offset the loss of Gagne.

Nikolai Zherdev is an interesting dude...

            Well that and this year’s KHL reclamation project. Last year’s Ray Emery experiment was a brilliant plan, but failed in practice due to unforeseen circumstances. Barring a similar problem, this year’s addition of the enigmatic, but highly talented Zherdev could turn out to be a massive steal. Zherdev has one year to prove that he can make it in the NHL or he could find himself headed back to the Russian front for good. New enforcer Jody Shelley should bring some more character to the locker room and will probably only step foot on the ice to lay some beat downs on the Rangers and Maple Leafs. Veteran try out Bill Guerin can only bring positive things to the team, provided that he’s still around after training camp.

            The Flyers have one of the deepest and most talented collection forwards in the league and because of that, losing Gagne shouldn’t be the crippling blow that some of the more pessimistic out there make it seem. The Flyers forward crew possesses a remarkable blend of youth and experience, offense and defense. The Flyers can roll three strong offensive units at opponents and then put the criminally underrated shut down line of Blair Betts, Ian Laperriere and (Fill in the Blank) on the ice to close things out.   

            On Paper Grade: B+   

Keep An Eye On

I know, I'm really going out on a limb here predicting good things from the most highly touted youngster on the team. This is going to be the year that Giroux finally realizes his lofty potential over the course of an 82-game season.

Time Has Passed?

Has the salary cap era also ended the days of the enforcer? Jody Shelley and Flyers GM Paul Holmgren sure hope not. Is it worth it to pay a guy to just fight? Or have multi-purpose players like Dan Carcillo and Arron Asham become the new standard?

Vaya con dios!

Image Credits: Giroux, Shelley, Zherdev

The Event airs Mondays at 9PM on NBC

The Event pilot REALLY is dominated by pronouns. Many things happen in the pilot and then a cliffhanger happens. A plane is hijacked. The president wants to do his press conference as planned despite warnings from his intelligence. There are kidnappings. Much mystery surrounds the story. A reporter in the episode even uses the sentence ‘shrouded in mystery’ when discussing something mysterious. I’m not a fan of this show.

Every show that a network marketed as the next LOST failed. The one show that actually marketed itself as the next LOST was Invasion and it bore little resemblance to LOST other than sharing the same time-slot with the show. Of course, the show was cancelled. Each show suffered early cancellation because the writers didn’t understand what JJ Abrams, Damon Lindelof, Carlton Cuse and the rest of the LOST writers did with LOST. LOST began as a character drama and ended as a character drama because the show was always about the characters. Answers didn’t provide the satisfaction that character resolution provided or character moments.

The show opens with Jason Ritter’s character, Sean Walker, on an airplane. Sean is being chased by a group of men and a black SUV. The SUV is driven by a character, Simon Lee, who warns air traffic control that someone plans to use the plane as a bomb. Air Traffic Control tells the pilot to hit the brakes because of the terroristic threat aboard the plane. The pilot doesn’t listen because he is Scott Patterson from Gilmore Girls. Now, Scott Patterson refuses to ground the plane not because he’s angry his beloved hat was taken away post-Gilmore Girls but because, presumably, his two daughters were kidnapped by people who WANT him to take this plane and use it as a weapon to kill the president. The president has to evacuate his mansion because of the threat. Of course, the president’s involved in some immigration cover-up (I think) and Danko from Heroes is the resident evil man who speaks in a low, evil, untrustworthy tone.

The Event provides the illusion of a tremendous amount of things happening when, in actuality, the pilot accomplishes very little. The above paragraph IS the entire episode. The Event shifts between time-frames. Sean brought his girlfriend, Leila, on a cruise in an elaborate trip that would end with a proposal. The proposal is interrupted by a man shouting for someone to save his girlfriend. Sean saves the woman and the two couples become friends. They drink and eat together. As soon as Sean leaves his girlfriend alone with the girl’s boyfriend, she is taken. Sean is soon wiped from the database along with Leila. You see, THERE IS NO SPOON. The disappearance leads to the airplane fun. At Leila’s household, where Scott Patterson (her father) lives with his wife, are attacked by unseen people after their seven year old daughter is taken. Naturally, the scene jumps to the elder Buchanan boarding the airplane as the pilot, thus, a significant chunk of story is missing. Sean pleads with Patterson to NOT crash into the president’s house. Obviously, the people behind the disappearance of his daughters and the murder of his wife made demands so that he could secure the safety of his daughters. But the elder Buchanan is not interested in crashing the plane as much as he is interested in flying the plane into white light and an alternate dimension. Yes, an alternate dimension. Blah.

Nick Wauters, the creator, doesn’t seem interested in an actual story. His interest lies with surprises, twists and mystery. TV writers are taught that a pilot must establish what this series will be. Well, this series is a mess. The pilot does not tell a complete story and story is everything for me. Even Hellcats tells a complete story in 42 minutes. The pilot didn’t make me care about what the Event is nor any of the characters besides Sean. The only likable character is Sean Walker and that’s mostly because Jason Ritter is the only good actor in the entire damn show. No offense to Blair Underwood and Laura Innes. I digress. I don’t care for the obtuseness of Innes’ character nor anything involving the president of the United States. I just don’t care.

I’ll watch next week’s episode and review it. I might continue reviewing it regardless if my disdain for the show grows. Also, another major problem the show experienced: the trailers revealed every major plot point besides the last one.

This might be the worst pilot I’ve ever seen.

THE YOUTUBE CLIP OF THE WEEK

            Well, I’ve got some good news Joeys and Rachels.

            No, sadly I have not found a way to turn my English degree into a license to print money. I’m still grappling with the pickle matrix on that one and it remains a work in progress.

            I’m proud to announce that after spending several hours on hold and losing 2 ¾ phones to dead batteries; Microsoft has agreed to fix my XBOX 360 for the second time at no cost to me! It seems that my console had another 11 days remaining under warranty, so if it had to break on me (and apparently it did), now was certainly the time.

            This is truly grand news because it means that, in a little under a month, I will be able to disappear into the depths of my basement, far from the reaches of sunlight and immerse myself in “NHL 11.”

            Goodbye reality, hello computer-generated hockey. I missed you so much.

            Now, you’re not here to listen to me drooling all over my keyboard about my impending descent into videogame-induced isolation. Hardly. You want to know the answer to last week’s Scene of Mystery and I will give that to you. After another round of…

            That’s right! I will select a quiz completely at random from noted post collegiate time-passer Sporcle.com and post the results. Of course, I’d love it if you would head on over there and try the quiz yourself and post your results in the comments section. Do you have what it takes to Beat the Apocalypse? We shall see…

            This week’s random quiz is… Can you name the Lady Gaga songs by their First Line? Oh boy. This is going to be a disaster, but here we go! I have FIVE minutes!

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             Wow. Just 3 of 22. That was, as I anticipated, a disaster. Apparently my Lady Gaga knowledge is not up to snuff. What do you think? Can you do better? Can you Beat the Apocalypse? It shouldn’t be hard, yet the gauntlet has been thrown down!

            Moving on. Are you the head of a multibillion dollar corporation with money to burn? Do you absolutely need a recent college graduate with a degree and a minor in dying industries? Well you’re in luck because here I am! Need more convincing? Well here are two more of the…

            Reason #33

            Colin McGlinchey has an English degree but can’t tell you what a gerund is.

            Reason #71

            Colin McGlinchey once made a pair of shoes out of green electrical tape and wore them to high school. 

            Your move companies. I await your lucrative contract offers.

            And now it’s time for the main event, the big enchilada, the mucho guapo oso: the answer to the Scene of Mystery!

            First, a quick recap of the answers we received.

            Chris and Bryan each figured that my Shyamalan rant was an elaborate misdirection effort and so they guessed “The Village” and “The Last Airbender” respectively. Janice seems to have temporarily unhitched her bandwagon from the “Terminator 2” bandwagon and gone instead with the Pixar film “A Bug’s Life.” Will Janice finally score a victory or will she be forced into yet another undesirable career position? Let’s fire up the Youtube clip and find out!

            Oh no! The correct answer is “The Happening!” Both Chris and Bryan were clever enough to see through my smokescreen, but they each picked the wrong Night Man movie. Still, there will be no penalty for their incorrect answer, because they were both quite close. Janice was, as per the usual, completely off. As a result of her actions, she will now be forced to ghost write the Garth Snow autobiography “The Snow Man Cometh: How to Win to Make Glen Sather Look Reasonable.”  So goes this week’s Scene of Mystery! Thanks to all who played!

            And now for the Beard of the Day!

He fought for Troy against the Greeks, ignoring the overwhelming odds. He fought for his wimpy kid brother. He fought for freedom! Bouys and gulls, the "Hector!" ummm... I mean Eric Bana. Hector.

            That’s all for today! Thanks for stopping by and vaya con dios!

Image Credits: Bana

Ok, well I’m going through with this anyway, even though that Johnny-come-lately Frank Seravalli stole much of my thunder in today’s Daily News.

Goalies

            Welcome Aboard: No one

            Happy Trails: Ray Emery

            Thoughts: No change here. Playoff hero/goat Michael Leighton will start. Brian Boucher will likely be his back up, though Boosh will have Johan Backlund breathing down his neck. Backlund will be looking to make the big club this season after carrying the Adirondack Phantoms on his back all of last year.

            For the first time in as long as I can remember, the Flyers have a host of young netminding prospects seemingly worth getting excited about. If all goes according to plan, you’ll be hearing a lot about Sergei Bobrovsky, Nic Riopel and Joacim Eriksson in the near future.

            On Paper Grade: B

Keep an Eye on…

Frank Seravalli said today that this guy could be pretty good and even challenge for a back-up job this season. Seravalli's praise aside, I think this guy could actually be a winner. He was Semyon Varamov's cheif rival back in Russia which could make Flyers/ Caps games EVEN more interesting in the upcoming years.

Time has passed?

I certainly hope not. Boosh is one of the game's all time good guys. As much as I want to see the young guys get a chance, I would hate to see it come at his expense.

             Vaya con dios!