Quad Blogs

My friends, the middle of the work week has arrived, bringing with it the soothing, leisurely promise of the weekend and, of course, Dinosaur Wednesday!

            Let’s begin by handing out this week’s Outstanding Dinosaur Award! Each week this prestigious honor is given to the Dinosaur that is least likely to be written out of a sitcom with no explanation. This week’s Outstanding Dinosaur is the controversial, the notorious, the cuddly? Well maybe not so much the last one. This week’s Outstanding Dinosaur is…

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             The Microraptor! Amazing! In fact, it was so amazing, that EnchantedLearning.com fainted when it heard the news and thusly will sit this one. Instead, let us check out a few facts on this tiny feathered beastie courtesy of that bastion of prehistoric knowledge: About.com!

• About 2 feet long
• Weight: 3-4 pounds
• Had four wings, one on each forearm and hind leg
• Lived during the early Cretaceous Period (130-125 million years ago)
• Spent its time high in the treetops of Asia’s woodlands
• Probably used its wings to glide much like a flying squirrel
• Some believe that the Microraptor is the missing link proving Dinosaurs evolution into modern day birds, while others think that it was simply one of nature’s bizarre experiments
• One of the smallest known Dinosaurs

            Has your interest been peaked? Want to learn more about the Microraptor? Check out this hour long NOVA documentary for more information on this potential game-changer.

            Alright, moving right along to the 2010 Prehistoric Celebrity King of the Steel Cage tournament! Today marks the beginning of the second round of our competition. Remember, the winner will receive a MILLION dollars worth of Janice’s hooded sweatshirts, along with an invaluable amount of bragging rights and a super-dooper secret mystery prize!

            In order to determine a winner, we rely on the patented PCA Dinosaur Algorithm. Some say that the Algorithm once wrestled a bear with its bare hands and that it salts the sidewalks outside of its home in July… just because. All we know is that it’s the only method we have of determining a winner. Let’s go right to our first match!

            In the plaid corner we have Rex (PCGM Record: 3-0-0, Odds: 2-1), the beloved film actor and star of the “Toy Story” franchise. Across from him in the lavender corner is one of the vicious, blood thirsty raptors (PCGM Record: 1-1-0, Odds: 20-1) that stalked Sam Neill and Laura Dern in the first “Jurassic Park” film. Hows about we fire up the Algorithm to see who comes out on top: the pretournament favorite or the cerebral assassin with the new .500 record?

            Rexy does it again! This adorable locomotive is sure going to be hard to stop as it plows its way deeper and deeper into the tournament! On to the second match of the evening!

            In the cerulean corner is the Spinosaurus (PCGM Record: 1-0-0, Odds: 17-1), the star of the third film in the “Jurassic Park” series. In the dark and cryptic sky blue corner is the Mysterious Contestant (PCGM Record: 1-0-0)! Noted film producer and time-wasting enthusiast Drake Stone recently sets the Mystery Contestant’s odds to win the entire tournament at 3-1! Apparently, he’s loved what he’s seen out of this enigma so far. Let’s turn to the Algorithm to find out if Drake Stone’s faith will be rewarded or if the Giant Giant-Killer will reign taco supreme.     

            The Mystery Contestant comes out on top! Incredible stuff! Just who is the impenetrable, seemingly unstoppable force? Out of what unknown and curious corner of the map did it come to us from? Only time will tell…

            How about a quick recap of where we stand in our tournament thus far?

            Now on to the ‘Jurassic Park’ Clip of the Week! 

            Lastly, it’s time for a very special Beard of the Day!

He wanted to create an attraction that was more than just smoke and mirrors. He wanted to take your breath away. He wanted to change the world. Sadly, his creation turned on him like a modern day Dr. Frankenstein. Jims and Pams, the man behind Jurassic Park, the "John Hammond!"

            That’s all for now. Ask-A-Dinosaur will be up tomorrow. Thanks for reading and as always: vaya con dios!

Image Credits: Hammond

Forwards

            In: Nikolai Zherdev, Jody Shelley

Summer's over Richards and Carter. Time to get back to work.

            Out: Simon Gagne, Arron Asham

            The Simon Gagne trade was simply a sad byproduct of the salary cap era. In the old days, Gags would likely have retired as a Flyer.  Teams just can’t always operate that way anymore. Though roster decisions are the norm now and sometimes veteran players need to be moved in order to allow younger ones to blossom.

            And boy do the Flyers have some interesting young guys in the fold. The first two years of Claude Giroux’s NHL career have been a bit odd. You normally expect a young guy to fold as the pressure of the season increases, but not Giroux. He’s had ok regular seasons, good not great, but tinged with flashes of brilliance here and there. However, when the post season rolls around, the man they call “G” takes off. Giroux is already a proven clutch performer and a dependable two-way player at the tender age of BLANK, now he just needs to get his act together to ensure his team makes it past the regular season and into the NHL’s main event.

            Hopefully former #2 overall pick James van Riemsdyk can build on his good, but wildly inconsistent rookie campaign. It was clear last year that JVR just ran out of gas as the season rolled on and he struggled mightily down the stretch. Not that anyone should have been surprised by that. Inconsistency is the name of the game for most rookies, as they settle into the NHL. After last season’s deep playoff run, it seems safe to assume that JVR’s pretty well settled in at this point. Now its time to see what the young guy from New Jersey can really do.

            The continued development of those two, coupled with bounce back years from captain Mike Richards, Jeff Carter and Scott Hartnel, 82 games of Ville Leino and a healthy (and scarily motivated) Danny Briere should, in theory, offset the loss of Gagne.

Nikolai Zherdev is an interesting dude...

            Well that and this year’s KHL reclamation project. Last year’s Ray Emery experiment was a brilliant plan, but failed in practice due to unforeseen circumstances. Barring a similar problem, this year’s addition of the enigmatic, but highly talented Zherdev could turn out to be a massive steal. Zherdev has one year to prove that he can make it in the NHL or he could find himself headed back to the Russian front for good. New enforcer Jody Shelley should bring some more character to the locker room and will probably only step foot on the ice to lay some beat downs on the Rangers and Maple Leafs. Veteran try out Bill Guerin can only bring positive things to the team, provided that he’s still around after training camp.

            The Flyers have one of the deepest and most talented collection forwards in the league and because of that, losing Gagne shouldn’t be the crippling blow that some of the more pessimistic out there make it seem. The Flyers forward crew possesses a remarkable blend of youth and experience, offense and defense. The Flyers can roll three strong offensive units at opponents and then put the criminally underrated shut down line of Blair Betts, Ian Laperriere and (Fill in the Blank) on the ice to close things out.   

            On Paper Grade: B+   

Keep An Eye On

I know, I'm really going out on a limb here predicting good things from the most highly touted youngster on the team. This is going to be the year that Giroux finally realizes his lofty potential over the course of an 82-game season.

Time Has Passed?

Has the salary cap era also ended the days of the enforcer? Jody Shelley and Flyers GM Paul Holmgren sure hope not. Is it worth it to pay a guy to just fight? Or have multi-purpose players like Dan Carcillo and Arron Asham become the new standard?

Vaya con dios!

Image Credits: Giroux, Shelley, Zherdev

            Well, I’ve got some good news Joeys and Rachels.

            No, sadly I have not found a way to turn my English degree into a license to print money. I’m still grappling with the pickle matrix on that one and it remains a work in progress.

            I’m proud to announce that after spending several hours on hold and losing 2 ¾ phones to dead batteries; Microsoft has agreed to fix my XBOX 360 for the second time at no cost to me! It seems that my console had another 11 days remaining under warranty, so if it had to break on me (and apparently it did), now was certainly the time.

            This is truly grand news because it means that, in a little under a month, I will be able to disappear into the depths of my basement, far from the reaches of sunlight and immerse myself in “NHL 11.”

            Goodbye reality, hello computer-generated hockey. I missed you so much.

            Now, you’re not here to listen to me drooling all over my keyboard about my impending descent into videogame-induced isolation. Hardly. You want to know the answer to last week’s Scene of Mystery and I will give that to you. After another round of…

            That’s right! I will select a quiz completely at random from noted post collegiate time-passer Sporcle.com and post the results. Of course, I’d love it if you would head on over there and try the quiz yourself and post your results in the comments section. Do you have what it takes to Beat the Apocalypse? We shall see…

            This week’s random quiz is… Can you name the Lady Gaga songs by their First Line? Oh boy. This is going to be a disaster, but here we go! I have FIVE minutes!

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             Wow. Just 3 of 22. That was, as I anticipated, a disaster. Apparently my Lady Gaga knowledge is not up to snuff. What do you think? Can you do better? Can you Beat the Apocalypse? It shouldn’t be hard, yet the gauntlet has been thrown down!

            Moving on. Are you the head of a multibillion dollar corporation with money to burn? Do you absolutely need a recent college graduate with a degree and a minor in dying industries? Well you’re in luck because here I am! Need more convincing? Well here are two more of the…

            Reason #33

            Colin McGlinchey has an English degree but can’t tell you what a gerund is.

            Reason #71

            Colin McGlinchey once made a pair of shoes out of green electrical tape and wore them to high school. 

            Your move companies. I await your lucrative contract offers.

            And now it’s time for the main event, the big enchilada, the mucho guapo oso: the answer to the Scene of Mystery!

            First, a quick recap of the answers we received.

            Chris and Bryan each figured that my Shyamalan rant was an elaborate misdirection effort and so they guessed “The Village” and “The Last Airbender” respectively. Janice seems to have temporarily unhitched her bandwagon from the “Terminator 2” bandwagon and gone instead with the Pixar film “A Bug’s Life.” Will Janice finally score a victory or will she be forced into yet another undesirable career position? Let’s fire up the Youtube clip and find out!

            Oh no! The correct answer is “The Happening!” Both Chris and Bryan were clever enough to see through my smokescreen, but they each picked the wrong Night Man movie. Still, there will be no penalty for their incorrect answer, because they were both quite close. Janice was, as per the usual, completely off. As a result of her actions, she will now be forced to ghost write the Garth Snow autobiography “The Snow Man Cometh: How to Win to Make Glen Sather Look Reasonable.”  So goes this week’s Scene of Mystery! Thanks to all who played!

            And now for the Beard of the Day!

He fought for Troy against the Greeks, ignoring the overwhelming odds. He fought for his wimpy kid brother. He fought for freedom! Bouys and gulls, the "Hector!" ummm... I mean Eric Bana. Hector.

            That’s all for today! Thanks for stopping by and vaya con dios!

Image Credits: Bana

Ok, well I’m going through with this anyway, even though that Johnny-come-lately Frank Seravalli stole much of my thunder in today’s Daily News.

Goalies

            Welcome Aboard: No one

            Happy Trails: Ray Emery

            Thoughts: No change here. Playoff hero/goat Michael Leighton will start. Brian Boucher will likely be his back up, though Boosh will have Johan Backlund breathing down his neck. Backlund will be looking to make the big club this season after carrying the Adirondack Phantoms on his back all of last year.

            For the first time in as long as I can remember, the Flyers have a host of young netminding prospects seemingly worth getting excited about. If all goes according to plan, you’ll be hearing a lot about Sergei Bobrovsky, Nic Riopel and Joacim Eriksson in the near future.

            On Paper Grade: B

Keep an Eye on…

Frank Seravalli said today that this guy could be pretty good and even challenge for a back-up job this season. Seravalli's praise aside, I think this guy could actually be a winner. He was Semyon Varamov's cheif rival back in Russia which could make Flyers/ Caps games EVEN more interesting in the upcoming years.

Time has passed?

I certainly hope not. Boosh is one of the game's all time good guys. As much as I want to see the young guys get a chance, I would hate to see it come at his expense.

             Vaya con dios!

            I have no life-threatening incidents to report this week so let’s get right to gabbing about movies, shall we?

              So here’s the deal. You’re going to be stranded on a desert island for an undisclosed length of time. Never fear though, because you won’t be going alone. No sir. You can bring three individuals along for the trip to help you survive out there in the wild. What’s even better is that you just so happen to be living in a “Who Framed Roger Rabbit” style world where cartoons and humans live together in prefect harmony. And these days, there is one name is animation that rules benevolently over all others. Congratulations, you are permitted to bring along THREE characters from the beloved films of Pixar Animation Studios.

Pixar Edition

            Those are really the only restrictions. If you want to pick three characters from “A Bug’s Life,” you just go right ahead. I mean, that would be sort of strange. It’s a good movie, but not THAT good. Hey, don’t let me tell you who to put on your boat, I’m just saying.

            Of course, if you asked me my list would probably go a little something like this…

                                   Rex

Ah yes, the beloved star of the “Toy Story” franchise. Now on the surface a small and very timid plastic dinosaur toy may seem like a strange choice to bring along in a survival situation. Rex is NO Bear Grylles after all. I can’t picture Rex diving into frozen lakes or facing off against a herd of elephants or using a deer corpse as a toboggan. Although, the thought of him doing these things is hysterical.  And THAT is precisely why I want Rex. He amuses me to no end. He’s adorable and clumsy and I want those qualities on my island. Rex would be my Gilligan. After all, one of the most important aspects of survival is maintaining your sanity and what better way to do that than a few laughs with old Rexy? 

Remy

            Hey, survival situations aren’t all laughs and deer carcass toboggans. We’re going to need to eat eventually and who better to handle the food situation then a gourmet chef?  There will be some obstacles to overcome, like the fact that Remy really only communicates with humans by pulling on their hair. I’m cool with growing my hair out a bit for the sake of conversation. There definitely won’t be a barber shop on that island so it should be too much of a problem. Another huge problem will be the fact that Remy is… well… a rat. Not in the mob movie sense either, but an honest-to-goodness rat. Now, before you go and play the species card on my, I assure you that I’m just concerned for his safety. Lots of things eat mice and I need Remy making my dinner not being turned into someone else’s. Rex won’t be very effective scary away potential mouse assassins. He’s simply too cute as we discussed above. 

            This brings us to our last island-mate.      

                                        Mr. Incredible

            Heck yeah the enforcer! Who’s going to mess with my little buddies when Mr. Incredible’s biceps are around to keep the peace? You go that right, no one. Plus, he can rip trees out of the ground which we could use to build our super-cool shelter.

 With that combination of brains, brawn, and beauty, we should be able to last three or four seasons of “Survivor” on that island. Beat that Probst.

            Please feel free to share your own lists in the comment section!

            How about a little Gritando en el Cine?

            “Devil” stormed into theaters today straight from the slightly delusional mind of M. Night Shyamalan. I say slightly delusional after hearing the Night man himself on a local morning radio show.

            Shyamalan talked at length about his perceived arrogance, likened himself to a young Hitchcock and spoke in grandiose language about the personal relationship that he has with his audience.

            It’s this last one that really got me. Considering his sagging domestic box office numbers (“Last Airbender” made a bunch of money because of the cartoon not him) I find it pretty umm…arrogant to play up your ability to connect to your fans.

            I used to be one of those fans too until “The Village” came along and ruined everything. Shyamalan and his team sold that tripe to me as a monster movie, so imagine my surprise when that rug was pulled out from under me at the halfway point. The twist was a joke and painfully obvious as soon as the characters started referring to those mystery boxes. I felt cheated by the whole thing. Considering the negative reaction that film got, it seems I wasn’t alone.

            A few months ago, I was in a pretty full movie theater and the trailer for “Devil” came on. Everyone in the theater seemed to be enjoying it, until something happened. In huge letters “From the Mind of M. Night Shyamalan” appeared on the screen. The entire theater broke out laughing.

            Now, that one theater is hardly representative of the movie going public as a whole, but the picture becomes clearer when you factor in the box office numbers and extremely adverse reception his films get from both fans and critics.

            Shyamalan needs to stop writing and focus on directing. He is a talented director who has become a below average writer. He should ditch this highfalutin image that he has of himself as an auteur who reaches out and touches people’s lives. He may have once been that, but no longer. Right now he is a hack and a bad joke.

            If he really wants people to stop thinking he’s arrogant he should stop using his name to sell his movies now that his name is no longer a gold standard. I will not be fooled by him again. Not after “The Happening.” As Christian Bale once famously said: “Seriously you and me, man, are done professionally.”

            Let’s take a gander at this week’s Scene of Mystery!

            If you correctly identify the scene, Janice will send you on an all expenses paid vacation to lovely Kuala Lampur! If you guess incorrectly, there could be grave consequences.                

Ah yes, the break out star of "Inception," the painfully charming Brit and future "Mad Max" star. Mr. and Mrs. Pacmans: the "Tom Hardy!"

             Thanks for reading, havea solid weekend and Vaya con dios!

Image Credits: Hardy 

Philadelphia sports fan get a bad wrap. We get blamed for being too critical, too mean, too drunk, too obnoxious and basically any other negative description you can possibly think of. Now, those things are all patently untrue of the group as a whole.  

            Another thing that Philly fans are also notorious for is their deep seated pessimism. You know what talking about. That slight tingling sensation in the shins that screams sooner or later something is going to go horribly, horribly wrong. I admit that I suffer from the occasional bout of the glass half empties. Especially when it comes to my belovedly Inglourious Flyers. I just want them to win so badly that I assume they won’t. I know. It’s a bit twisted really.  

            That’s why this next sentence will come as a bit of a shocker: I think the 2010-2011 Flyers are a BETTER team then the one that came within two wins of the Stanley Cup last season! I know! The gall, the unmitigated optimism! I can’t believe that I’m saying it either!  

            Sure, the Flyers lost a good chunk of their heart and soul when they traded Simon Gagne to the Tampa Bay Lightning for peanuts. They didn’t even bother to upgrade everyone’s favorite hot-button position: the goalie!  

            How, oh how can they be better when faced with such circumstances? Well, I’ll tell you. This year’s version of the Flyers (Inglourious version 2.0) is deeper in every position then last year’s group and thusly a better team overall. Let’s start our investigation on the back end with the…  

Defense

            Welcome aboard: Andrej Meszaros, Sean O’Donnell, Matt Walker  

            Vaya con dios: Ryan Parent, Lukas Krajicek  

            The defense was the backbone of the Flyers incredible playoff run last season. Chris Pronger and Kimmo Timonen will once again headline the corps, with Matt Carle hopefully continuing to build on last year’s breakout season. Speaking of the “h” work, here’s hoping that Brayden Coburn will finally get his head on straight and become the player that we’ve seen flashes of over the past three and a quarter seasons.   

            As for the newbies, Meszaros showed tremendous potential during his first two years in Ottawa and then fell apart when he went to Tampa Bay. Hmm… highly touted defensive prospect goes to Tampa, falls off the face of the Earth and then gets traded to the Flyers. Sound familiar? It should. It’s the Matt Carle story and I think that worked out pretty well for the orange and black. And don’t give me your Steve Downie nonsense either. I’ll trade a hundred 20-goal scorers for a top pair D-man with Carle’s upside.   

            Meszaros and O’Donnell will solidify a third pair that was the Flyers Achilles Heel during the playoffs. Walker will be a depth guy in case someone gets hurt or in case Pronger wants the occasional night off.   

            The Flyers have the NHL’s most expensive blue line, but it is money well spent. The Flyers defensive corps is the perfect balance of size and skill, youth and experience, speed and toughness. On paper, this is an elite group, one that should easily carry the Flyers one yet another deep playoff run.  

            On Paper Grade: A  

    Keep an eye on…

That's right, I'm calling it now. Braydon Coburn is finally going to put two and two together and have a rock solid season. He's going to earn that big raise he got this offseason, I'm sure of it.

Time has passed? 

He won the Stanley Cup in 2007 as a member of the (Mighty) Ducks playing alongside Chris Pronger, but he'll turn 40 early in the season. Can he provide the Flyers with an effective, stay-at-home presence or has the game passed him by? Only time will tell, but I sincerely hope thst it is the former.

            Ok well I’ve decided not to drag this on any further… today, that is. I will actually be dragging this out much further over the next several days. I’ll review the goalies tomorrow alongside of Peliculas con Viernes and the forwards on Monday with Big Reveal Monday. Maybe we’ll even have some fun along the way! Fingers crossed.

             Now to the Beard of the Day!

             That’s all for today! Vaya con dios!

A classier version of “Knight and Day” with a much better cast? Maybe, but still this looks awesome! I love Depp playing the frazzled side kick to Jolie’s superspy. By the way, this film marks the 20th time Angelina Jolie has played a spy on the big screen… this year. Well done Ange!  

September is the ultimate mixed bag month. You’ve got some good and some bad elements locked in an epic stalemate for the month’s soul. One the one hand the NHL preseason begins, but on the other so does school. Hmm… better make that last part past tense.

            Anyway, as far as holidays go Labor Day isn’t exactly the most exciting thing in the world. Heck, I love cooking out as much as the next guy, but excuse me for not getting worked up over having a Monday off. I just had three months worth of Mondays off. What do I need another one for?

            By far though, the worst thing to lurk in the shadow of September is seasonal allergies. It’s like clockwork every September 1. All manner of ghastly fluids begin pouring from every opening above my neck.

            Was that too much information? I apologize.

            Yesterday I decided to finally fight back against this yearly invader. I went to a doctor and he armed me with pills so potent that you need to show your driver’s license in order to obtain them.

            Even better, he wrote out a prescription for some steroid nasal spray which has helped immensely. I’m not just talking about with the allergies either. Several major league baseball clubs heard the word steroid and immediately offered my nose multi-million dollar contracts.

 Ba dum chi!

            That’s right Norman! All of that was just a long-winded way of getting in to today’s Dinosaur Wednesday!

            Each week, the Outstanding Dinosaur Award is given to the Dinosaur judged to have made the biggest positive impact on its neighbors and the surrounding community. This week’s Outstanding Dinosaur is…

Click to Enlarge

                       The Anatotitan! Yet another duck-billed winner of the Outstanding Dinosaur Award! Let’s check in with our friends over at EnchantedLearning.com to learn more!

• Name means “giant duck”
• 33 feet long
• 8 feet tall at the hips
• Weighed about 5 tons
• Very similar to Edmontosaurus (a previous Outstanding Dinosaur Award recipient) but was more lightly built and had longer legs
• The two animals are so similar that some scientists have argued that they were one and the same
• Could walk on just two legs or all four
• Lived in the late Cretaceous Period, about 70-65 million years ago, toward the end of the Mesozoic Era  
• Herbivore

            Congratulations to you, oh giant duck! Let’s scurry right along as we finish off the first round of the 2010 Prehistoric Celebrity King of the Steel Cage tournament! First a quick look at where we stand in the bracket thus far.

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            Remember, the winner of this prestigious tournament will receive one million dollars worth of Janice’s hooded sweatshirts, bragging rights and a super secret new MYSTERY PRIZE! The Mystery Prize will be revealed later on in the tournament.

            As always we will make use of the patented PCA Dinosaur Algorithm to determine a winner in each match. Some say that the Algorithm was Arnold Schwarzenegger’s personal trainer between the years 1970 and 1971 AND that its favorite car is an Emu. All we know for sure is that it is the best method to determine a winner in these high stakes contests. Let it begin! 

            Looks like the Algorithm did quite well for itself betting on the first week of NFL action. No one likes a show-off. I’m just saying. Tonight’s first matchup pits a T-Rex skeleton against a fleshier version of itself. In the mauve corner is Rexy (PCGM Record: 1-0-0, Odds: 25-1), the T-Rex skeleton from the “Night at the Museum” franchise that acts like a frisky puppy. In the magenta corner is the T-Rex (PCGM Record: 1-0-0, Odds: 15-1) from the first “Jurassic Park” film. Two early favorites here going at it. Let’s fire up the Algorithm and see who will come out on top…

            The T-Rex from “Jurassic Park” wins! Skin bests bone once again!

            Great, it’s the Monopoly guy from “Ace Ventura 2.” We get it, you made a ton of money last weekend. Well done. Anyway, our second match pits Trixie (PCGM Record: 2-0-0, Odds: 10-1), the co-star of the summer blockbuster “Toy Story 3” against one of the bite-sized Compys (PCGM Record: 0-0-0, Odds: 300-1) from “The Lost World: Jurassic Park.” Trixie is a massive favorite against the Compy. Will the little fellow be able to overcome those long odds and move on to the second round?

            No he won’t! Trixie wins! Amazing! How about a look at how our tournament is shaping up after one round of action.

Click to Enlarge

            Round 2 starts next week and noted gambling enthusiast/Hollywood producer Drake Stone will commemorate it by finally revealing his odds on the Mystery Contestant, plus don’t forget about the all new Mystery Prize! Stay tuned!

            Now it’s time for the ‘Jurassic Park’ Clip of the Week!

            You just try to not get the chills listening to that. John Williams you are the man. Moving on to the Beard of the Day!

That's right Alans and Ellies! The man behind the soundtrack of my childhood, I humbly give to you: the legendary "John Williams!"

            Thanks for reading! Check in tomorrow for the official Post Collegiate Apocalypse Flyers 2010-2011 Season Preview! Vaya con dios!    

Image Credits: Williams, Anatotitan, Ana Comp, Moneybags, Ace 2  

Moments ago I logged in to my Gmail account and came face to virtual face with an email from a certain home shopping corporation. Naturally, I was surpised by this because this particular corporation and I have no business dealings of any sort. What could they want with me? Perhaps someone had stolen my non-existant credit card and used it purchase some type of jewlery that was going and going fast.

            My interest peaked, I opened the email.

             Luckily, my non-existant credit card had not been stolen and my pretend credit remained unmolested. I was momentarilly relieved, that is until I continued to read the email. It turns out that it contained far worse news than I could possibly have imagined. News that would go on to shape the rest of my evening and possibly beyond…

              The home shopping corporation had rejected my job application, but they did promise to keep it on file for future reference. They assured me that it was nothing personal and were happy to announce that they received a great many applications for the job. So many that they could have built the world’s largest paper air force and used it to carpet bomb Britain.

             They didn’t actually say that last part, but I felt that it was implied.

             I was devastated. I was crestfallen. I was… confused.

             See, I don’t remember applying to them for their alleged copywriting position and I don’t remember ever sending them my resume. Yet, I was still dissappointed by the news that I would not be getting a job that I didn’t remember ever applying for.

             I think that is what must be meant by rock bottom. Getting turned down for jobs that you don’t even remember being interested in to begin with. Well, that or the Pittsburgh Pirates. Either or.

             Anyway, just about the only thing that can remove this unanticipated burn from my soul is another edition of the beloved online series Ask-A-Dinosaur, starring our very own Dinosaur Wednesday drummer Norman. Are you ready? Let’s go!

            Well wasn’t that just something? We learned a lot this week, we really did. Remember to submit your questions to Norman in the comment section and he will respond to them in an upcoming episode. Ask him about anything: dinosaurs, the past, the present, the future. Any old thing that your heart may desire.

            On to a new Beard of the Day!

The facial hair of the newest Flyer just screams leadership. Just look at that slight hint of gray. And that scar? Warrior. Now, all they need is to find somewhere to put him and a way to pay him. Morks and Mindys, the "Bill Guerin!"

             That’s all for today. Tune in tomorrow for a brand new Dinosaur Wednesday, when we will conclude the first round of the 2010 Prehistoric King of the Steel Cage Tournament! Hope to see you then. Vaya con dios!   

Image Credits: Billy Guerin

Football season is upon us once again my friends! Truth be told, it actually began on Thursday, but honestly Thursday isn’t for football. It’s for “Must See TV” and gym class. Well, it was for gym class during my grade school days, but all of this is just beside the point and the point is that football is back and that can only mean one thing…

            We are less then TWO weeks away from the start of preseason hockey!

            It feels like just yesterday that my heart was ripped from my chest and stomped on by that little mullet-headed weasel and his cronies from Chicago after a long, occasionally exhilarating and often times excruciating season. Now we get the chance to endure it all over again.

            Ah the wonderful world of sports fandom. Anywho, this is all just a long-winded way of warning you that my 2010-2011 Flyers Season Preview will be up on Thursday so if you have no interest in hockey you may want to make other plans. I’m naturally assuming that you organize your own social calendar around this blog just as I do.

            Of course you do, now let’s find out the answer to Friday’s Quote of Mystery! Remember, we’re playing today for a lifetime supply of free movie tickets courtesy of Janice!

            First we should do a quick recap. Chris guessed that the quote came from “Red Dawn,” while Bryan guessed “Rocky IV.” Janice continued to beat the “Terminator 2” drum. Will she finally be right or is she just chasing waterfalls? Let’s find out using the patented PCA De-Scramblatron!

            “Hot Shots: Part Deux!” I never saw that coming! That film, of course, starred Charlie Sheen of “Red Dawn” fame and parodies Sylvester Stallone’s “Rambo” franchise. Bryan and Chris were so close, but sadly, the same can not be said for Janice. As a result of her actions, she must now spend the next four months as personal assistant to Megan Fox! Her duties will include pretending Fox is a legitimate actress, tracking down scripts that involve lots of standing around/pouting and sending threatening letters to Michael Bay and his family. Enjoy, Janice and thanks for playing Quote of Mystery!

            How about another round of…

            Reason #2           

            Colin McGlinchey has a Flyers name/number T-shirt for everyday of the week… including Funday.

            Reason #44

            Colin McGlinchey once led the Minnesota Wild to TWO Stanley Cup titles in four years while playing the videogame “NHL 10.” 

            We all know that Sporcle.com quizzes are one of the best ways to fritter away the Post Collegiate hours. Whatever you’re into, the chances are good that Sporcle has a quiz for it. It is in honor of this fantastic website that I present to you Beat the Apocalypse!   Each Monday I will select a Sporcle quiz at random and answer it as best I can. I will then post the results here and invite you to see if you can best my score.

            This week’s random Sporcle quiz is…

            Now, I swear that I clicked the random quiz button and this is what I got. “Can you Name the Rocky Balboa Opponents!”

            Alright, I have two minutes. Here we go!

Click to Enlarge

          6 out of 13! I’m disappointed with myself. It would appear that I need to see “Rocky III” again, considering I forgot everyone he fought in that movie. Oh well. Now it’s your turn! Can you Beat the Apocalypse?

            That is a morbid-sounding name. It does not seem good. I just might need to change that.

            Time for the Beard of the Day!

In honor of yet another Phillies win, I humbly give you one of the all-time great Phillies (beards). Clarissas and Fergusons, the "Eric Bruntlett!"

            That’s all for today. Thanks for reading and tune in tomorrow for an all new Ask-A-Dinosaur! Vaya con dios!

Image Credits: Bruntlett, Topper