Quad Blogs

Well, it seems to me that everyone in the Greater Philadelphia area is doing one thing and one thing only right now: eagerly awaiting Dinosaur Wednesday, of course!

            What? Is there something else taking place today? Some type of sporting event, maybe? Course not.

            Can you think of a better place to start other then this week’s Outstanding Dinosaur Award? No, seriously, I’m asking you. If you can, drop me a line in the comment section and Janice will give you some of her possessions.

            Each and every single week, we give the Outstanding Dinosaur Award to the prehistoric cool cat that can get highest without drugs and can stop the world while melting with you. This week’s winner is…

            The Amargasaurus! Let’s check in with the website that always mixes business with pleasure and information with pastels: EnchatedLearning.com to learn more about the Amargasaurus.

• Name means “Lizard from La Amarga, Argentina”
• Had two rows of spines growing along its back, neck and tail
• May have been used for protection, or for mating rituals
• Spines may have had a fleshy covering. Making them sails
• Herbivore
• 33 feet long
• Weighed 5000 kg
• Walked on all fours, but its front legs were shorter than its back legs
• Lived during the early Cretaceous Period, from about 131 to 125 million years ago

            There you have it folks, the Amargasaurus! Moving right along, it looks like we will once again be without Ask-A-Dinosaur, though I have no idea where Norman is— or thinks he is— at present. I also have no clue when he’ll return. I’ll tell you what I know: it’s time to resume the 2010 Prehistoric Celebrity King of the Steel Cage Tournament!

            Welcome to the Conference Finals! Only four prehistoric celebrities remain and after tonight, we will be down to only two. The winner of the tournament will receive ONE million dollars worth of Janice’s hoodies, bragging rights and most importantly of all: will be named the GM of Dinosaur Wednesday for ONE calendar year!

            Off to the first match up of the evening. In the aquamarine corner we have the star of the “Toy Story” franchise and pre-tournament favorite Rexy (4-0-0, Odds: 2-1)! Opposing him in the turquoise corner is the blood-thirsty, unquestioned king of the jungle: the T-Rex from the wonderful film “Jurassic Park!”

            In order to determine a winner, we must turn as we always do, to the patented PCA Dinosaur Algorithm. Some say that the Algorithm taught Roy Halladay everything it knows about pitching and that it once ate an entire box of Lucky Charms cereal… for dinner. The Algorithm is juiced up and ready to go. Let’s see who comes out on top!

            Rex advances once again! The pre-tournament favorite continues on to the Finals on the strength of his adorableness! Now to find out who he will be taking on.

            Our second matchup of the evening pits the youngest member of the Sinclair family, the frying pan wielding and aptly named Baby (3-0-0, Odds: 3-1) against the cryptic, unknown and potentially dangerous Mystery Contestant (2-0-0, Odds: 3-1)! This is the most even matchup we’ve seen all tournament. Who will come out on top, the television icon or the giant question mark? Algorithm, tell us what’s what! 

            The question mark does it! Baby has been knocked out and he is not pleased! He’s chasing the algorithm around the arena with a frying pan and confirming that he is, in fact, the baby at the top of his lungs! We may need the S.W.A.T. team and perhaps the National Guard to clam him down! He’s destroying the arena! Here’s what our final round will look like!

            Baby’s in firm control of the arena. He’s taken several vendors hostage and has demanded both a recount and a “Dinosaurs” movie. I’m not in position to grant either of those requests. I’m just an English major for Pete’s sake! I’m just an English major!   Quick check out this week’s ‘Jurassic Park’ Clip of the Week before he breaks the video screen!

            Oh no! He’s headed this way! Beard of the Day!

On a serious note, Flyers fans learned today that Ian Laperriere's career may be in jeopardy due to post concussion symptoms. He will likely miss this entire season and is rumored to be considering retirement. Lappy is one of the game's all time great guys yet this goes beyond the game of hockey. Hopefully he gets better for the sake of his family. Few people, if any, could match the impact that Lappy had on this city in an entire career and he did it in one year. Get better Lappy and hopefully you can get back on the ice soon.

Image Credits: Armagasaurus, Bones, Lappy

The Phillies are in the playoffs, the Flyers are on the tube and Dinosaur Wednesday is live (not really) and ready to go!

            First up is the Outstanding Dinosaur Award. Each week this honor is bestowed upon the dinosaur that could out maneuver The Stig and kick the beard off of Chuck Norris with a vicious roundhouse kick. At the SAME TIME!

            This week’s Outstanding Dinosaur is…

            The Parasaurolophus! Let’s get just the facts about this chap from our good, pastel-loving friends over at EnchantedLearning.com.

• 40 feet long, 8 feet tall at the hips
• Weighed about 2 tons
• Name means: “Beside Saurolophus (Crested Lizard)”
• Had an extremely long (up to SIX feet), hollow, bony crest attached to the back of its skull
• The crest may have been used to produce a fog-horn like trumpet sound, to enhance its sense of smell or for display in mating rituals
• Its back was notched slightly at the spot where the crest would make contact when it leaned its head backwards
• Duck-billed dinosaur
• Had no natural defenses, but possessed excellent sight and hearing
• Lived during the late Cretaceous Period, about 76-65 Million years ago, toward the end of the Mesozoic Era
• Herbivore
• Lived in North America (Alberta, Canada and Utah and New Mexico, USA)
• Walked and ran on two legs, but may have dropped to all fours to eat

            So there you have it! The Parasaurolophus! Norman, our Dinosaur Wednesday drummer and the host of Ask-A-Dinosaur is on vacation in tropical South Dakota this week, but he will return next week. In the meantime, let’s resume the 2010 Prehistoric Celebrity King of the Steel Cage tournament!

            This week features two absolutely TITANIC match ups containing FOUR pre-historic pre-tournament tournament favorites, two of whom will be going home when by night’s end. Remember, the winner of the tournament will receive one million dollars worth of Janice’s hoodies, an ample amount of bragging rights and a super-secret mystery prize! The Mystery prize will be revealed THIS MONDAY! Tune in to Big Reveal Monday to find out what it is!

            As always, the winner of each match up is determined by the patented PCA Dinosaur Algorithm. Some say that the Algorithm recently led his videogame Columbus Blue Jackets to the Stanley Cup title in… “NHL12.”

            Our first clash of the evening features Earl Sinclair (PCGM Record: 2-0-0, Odds: 30-1), the patriarch from the classic 90’s sitcom “Dinosaurs” lining up in the mauve corner. Opposite him in the nacho cheese orange corner is the fearsome, car-choppin’, goat-stompin’ T-Rex (PCGM Record: 2-0-0, Odds: 15-1) from the first “Jurassic Park” film! It’s time to fire up the Algorithm and see what’s what!

            The T-Rex wins it! 90’s cinema has bested 90’s television in the ultimate pop culture war! I’m very nearly breathless right now, but there is another match to consider. That’s right folks, we’re not done yet.

            Standing tall in the apricot corner is Trixie, the tri-horned co-star of the summer blockbuster “Toy Story 3!” Lurking in the sea foam green corner is her opponent. He’s armed to the teeth with frying pans and one liners, Baby Sinclair! Baby’s just watched his father get beaten by someone other then himself, which will no doubt have him in quite the foul mood. Are you there Algorithm, it’s your legions of adoring fans! Tell us who comes out on top!

            Baby does the Sinclair family proud! Our conference finals are set, let’s take a gander at the big board to see where we stand at this juncture!

            Cool beans folks. Things are tightening up and the revelation of the mystery prize on Monday should only make things crazier. Now off to the ‘Jurassic Park’ Clip of the Week!

            And finally, a brand spanking new Beard of the Day!

This guy has long claimed that he couldn't grow a full beard, giving hope to facial hair-challenged individuals everywhere. Then this happened. Still he kicks butt, Chances, Shadows and Sassys: the "Johnny Depp!"

            That’s all for now. I will see you on Friday with another edition of Peliculas con Viernes!

Image Credits: Para comp, para pic, Depp   

           Sorry for the delay, but now it’s time once again to see what Norman is up to in this week’s Ask-A-Dinosaur!

            This will be the end of the week for Post Collegiate Apocalypse. Tomorrow a business associate and I will head into the wilds of Pennsylvania to spend the weekend engaged in mortal combat with Mother Nature and her cuddly yet deadly minions. We will forage for food during the day and when the sun sets we will take shelter in the forest canopy, far from the clutches of those which stalk the night.

             Along the way we will certainly be forced to contend with the Blair Witch and possibly even her sister, the Blair Witch II. Who knows what manner of other horrors and oddities await us in those darkened woods?

            It will take every ounce of my survival knowledge just to ensure that we even make it to Sunday, let alone home. If worst comes to worst, I may be forced to sacrifice my business associate. Even if worst doesn’t come to worst, I may have to do that anyway. Such are the perils of life in Penn’s wood. It will be exactly like that time that Bear Grylls sacrificed his business associate in order to survive the hidden temple in that dream that I had that one time. Exactly like that.

             On to the Beard of the Day!  

NBC's beloved Thursday night comedy block returned tonight featuring this guy san beard. Jons and Kates, presenting: the "John Krasinski!"

Image Credits: Krasinski           

My friends, the middle of the work week has arrived, bringing with it the soothing, leisurely promise of the weekend and, of course, Dinosaur Wednesday!

            Let’s begin by handing out this week’s Outstanding Dinosaur Award! Each week this prestigious honor is given to the Dinosaur that is least likely to be written out of a sitcom with no explanation. This week’s Outstanding Dinosaur is the controversial, the notorious, the cuddly? Well maybe not so much the last one. This week’s Outstanding Dinosaur is…

Click to Enlarge

             The Microraptor! Amazing! In fact, it was so amazing, that EnchantedLearning.com fainted when it heard the news and thusly will sit this one. Instead, let us check out a few facts on this tiny feathered beastie courtesy of that bastion of prehistoric knowledge: About.com!

• About 2 feet long
• Weight: 3-4 pounds
• Had four wings, one on each forearm and hind leg
• Lived during the early Cretaceous Period (130-125 million years ago)
• Spent its time high in the treetops of Asia’s woodlands
• Probably used its wings to glide much like a flying squirrel
• Some believe that the Microraptor is the missing link proving Dinosaurs evolution into modern day birds, while others think that it was simply one of nature’s bizarre experiments
• One of the smallest known Dinosaurs

            Has your interest been peaked? Want to learn more about the Microraptor? Check out this hour long NOVA documentary for more information on this potential game-changer.

            Alright, moving right along to the 2010 Prehistoric Celebrity King of the Steel Cage tournament! Today marks the beginning of the second round of our competition. Remember, the winner will receive a MILLION dollars worth of Janice’s hooded sweatshirts, along with an invaluable amount of bragging rights and a super-dooper secret mystery prize!

            In order to determine a winner, we rely on the patented PCA Dinosaur Algorithm. Some say that the Algorithm once wrestled a bear with its bare hands and that it salts the sidewalks outside of its home in July… just because. All we know is that it’s the only method we have of determining a winner. Let’s go right to our first match!

            In the plaid corner we have Rex (PCGM Record: 3-0-0, Odds: 2-1), the beloved film actor and star of the “Toy Story” franchise. Across from him in the lavender corner is one of the vicious, blood thirsty raptors (PCGM Record: 1-1-0, Odds: 20-1) that stalked Sam Neill and Laura Dern in the first “Jurassic Park” film. Hows about we fire up the Algorithm to see who comes out on top: the pretournament favorite or the cerebral assassin with the new .500 record?

            Rexy does it again! This adorable locomotive is sure going to be hard to stop as it plows its way deeper and deeper into the tournament! On to the second match of the evening!

            In the cerulean corner is the Spinosaurus (PCGM Record: 1-0-0, Odds: 17-1), the star of the third film in the “Jurassic Park” series. In the dark and cryptic sky blue corner is the Mysterious Contestant (PCGM Record: 1-0-0)! Noted film producer and time-wasting enthusiast Drake Stone recently sets the Mystery Contestant’s odds to win the entire tournament at 3-1! Apparently, he’s loved what he’s seen out of this enigma so far. Let’s turn to the Algorithm to find out if Drake Stone’s faith will be rewarded or if the Giant Giant-Killer will reign taco supreme.     

            The Mystery Contestant comes out on top! Incredible stuff! Just who is the impenetrable, seemingly unstoppable force? Out of what unknown and curious corner of the map did it come to us from? Only time will tell…

            How about a quick recap of where we stand in our tournament thus far?

            Now on to the ‘Jurassic Park’ Clip of the Week! 

            Lastly, it’s time for a very special Beard of the Day!

He wanted to create an attraction that was more than just smoke and mirrors. He wanted to take your breath away. He wanted to change the world. Sadly, his creation turned on him like a modern day Dr. Frankenstein. Jims and Pams, the man behind Jurassic Park, the "John Hammond!"

            That’s all for now. Ask-A-Dinosaur will be up tomorrow. Thanks for reading and as always: vaya con dios!

Image Credits: Hammond

September is the ultimate mixed bag month. You’ve got some good and some bad elements locked in an epic stalemate for the month’s soul. One the one hand the NHL preseason begins, but on the other so does school. Hmm… better make that last part past tense.

            Anyway, as far as holidays go Labor Day isn’t exactly the most exciting thing in the world. Heck, I love cooking out as much as the next guy, but excuse me for not getting worked up over having a Monday off. I just had three months worth of Mondays off. What do I need another one for?

            By far though, the worst thing to lurk in the shadow of September is seasonal allergies. It’s like clockwork every September 1. All manner of ghastly fluids begin pouring from every opening above my neck.

            Was that too much information? I apologize.

            Yesterday I decided to finally fight back against this yearly invader. I went to a doctor and he armed me with pills so potent that you need to show your driver’s license in order to obtain them.

            Even better, he wrote out a prescription for some steroid nasal spray which has helped immensely. I’m not just talking about with the allergies either. Several major league baseball clubs heard the word steroid and immediately offered my nose multi-million dollar contracts.

 Ba dum chi!

            That’s right Norman! All of that was just a long-winded way of getting in to today’s Dinosaur Wednesday!

            Each week, the Outstanding Dinosaur Award is given to the Dinosaur judged to have made the biggest positive impact on its neighbors and the surrounding community. This week’s Outstanding Dinosaur is…

Click to Enlarge

                       The Anatotitan! Yet another duck-billed winner of the Outstanding Dinosaur Award! Let’s check in with our friends over at EnchantedLearning.com to learn more!

• Name means “giant duck”
• 33 feet long
• 8 feet tall at the hips
• Weighed about 5 tons
• Very similar to Edmontosaurus (a previous Outstanding Dinosaur Award recipient) but was more lightly built and had longer legs
• The two animals are so similar that some scientists have argued that they were one and the same
• Could walk on just two legs or all four
• Lived in the late Cretaceous Period, about 70-65 million years ago, toward the end of the Mesozoic Era  
• Herbivore

            Congratulations to you, oh giant duck! Let’s scurry right along as we finish off the first round of the 2010 Prehistoric Celebrity King of the Steel Cage tournament! First a quick look at where we stand in the bracket thus far.

Click to Enlarge

            Remember, the winner of this prestigious tournament will receive one million dollars worth of Janice’s hooded sweatshirts, bragging rights and a super secret new MYSTERY PRIZE! The Mystery Prize will be revealed later on in the tournament.

            As always we will make use of the patented PCA Dinosaur Algorithm to determine a winner in each match. Some say that the Algorithm was Arnold Schwarzenegger’s personal trainer between the years 1970 and 1971 AND that its favorite car is an Emu. All we know for sure is that it is the best method to determine a winner in these high stakes contests. Let it begin! 

            Looks like the Algorithm did quite well for itself betting on the first week of NFL action. No one likes a show-off. I’m just saying. Tonight’s first matchup pits a T-Rex skeleton against a fleshier version of itself. In the mauve corner is Rexy (PCGM Record: 1-0-0, Odds: 25-1), the T-Rex skeleton from the “Night at the Museum” franchise that acts like a frisky puppy. In the magenta corner is the T-Rex (PCGM Record: 1-0-0, Odds: 15-1) from the first “Jurassic Park” film. Two early favorites here going at it. Let’s fire up the Algorithm and see who will come out on top…

            The T-Rex from “Jurassic Park” wins! Skin bests bone once again!

            Great, it’s the Monopoly guy from “Ace Ventura 2.” We get it, you made a ton of money last weekend. Well done. Anyway, our second match pits Trixie (PCGM Record: 2-0-0, Odds: 10-1), the co-star of the summer blockbuster “Toy Story 3” against one of the bite-sized Compys (PCGM Record: 0-0-0, Odds: 300-1) from “The Lost World: Jurassic Park.” Trixie is a massive favorite against the Compy. Will the little fellow be able to overcome those long odds and move on to the second round?

            No he won’t! Trixie wins! Amazing! How about a look at how our tournament is shaping up after one round of action.

Click to Enlarge

            Round 2 starts next week and noted gambling enthusiast/Hollywood producer Drake Stone will commemorate it by finally revealing his odds on the Mystery Contestant, plus don’t forget about the all new Mystery Prize! Stay tuned!

            Now it’s time for the ‘Jurassic Park’ Clip of the Week!

            You just try to not get the chills listening to that. John Williams you are the man. Moving on to the Beard of the Day!

That's right Alans and Ellies! The man behind the soundtrack of my childhood, I humbly give to you: the legendary "John Williams!"

            Thanks for reading! Check in tomorrow for the official Post Collegiate Apocalypse Flyers 2010-2011 Season Preview! Vaya con dios!    

Image Credits: Williams, Anatotitan, Ana Comp, Moneybags, Ace 2  

             Fancy meeting you here.

            I can only assume that you must have missed yesterday’s debut of Ask-A-Dinosaur. Surely there’s no way that you’d still be visiting this site if you were exposed to that level of nonsense. Or perhaps you just so happen to have an incredibly high tolerance of nonsense. Lucky for me if that’s the case because today is Dinosaur Wednesday! Where your nonsense tolerance will be tested to the breaking point!

            Each week the Outstanding Dinosaur Award is presented as a means of recognition, and as an incentive to scientific and technological research and development, with special consideration for researches which have brought true benefit and well being to dinosaur-kind.

            Topangas and Coreys, this week’s Outstanding Dinosaur is…

Click to Enlarge

             The Troödon! In addition, I am pleased to announce that this little spitfire will also receive an honorary Ummy from the Umlaut council for its pioneering work bringing the umlaut to diacritical mark-impoverished dinosaurs everywhere. Cöngratulatiöns! Nöw let us partake in a hearty helping öf Troödon-learning courtesy öf öur friends at EnchantedLearning.cöm.

            It seems that I’m to be bought up on charges by the Umlaut Council for gross amounts of improper usage. The dream is över. 

• 6 ½ -11 ½ feet long
• 3 feet tall at the hips
• Around 110 pounds
• Fast runner
• Lived during the late Cretaceous Period, about 76-70 million years ago
• Lived in Western USA/ Canada
• Carnivore
• Believed to have been the smartest dinosaur because it has the largest brain in proportion to mass
• Name means “wounding tooth”
• Had serrated teeth and a raptor-like claw on each foot 

            Good times and they keep on gettin’ better. Let’s take a peak at the official 2010 Prehistoric King of the Steel Cage bracket to see where we stand in our tournament thus far!

Click to Enlarge

            It seems that we have a bit of a theme going on this week as FOUR beloved television dinosaurs will enter the steel cage with only two advancing to the next round. The winner of the tournament will take home one million dollars worth of Janice’s multi-colored hooded sweatshirts and an invaluable amount of bragging rights amongst their fellow celebs.    

            Let’s see who will be duking it out in our first match.

            Hmm… well it seems that the Algorithm has decided to throw its support behind the Atalnta Dream in the WNBA Finals! Very nice choice. Moving on. Earl Sinclair (PCGM Record: 1-0-0 Odds: 30-1), the loving father and husband from the classic 90’s sitcom “Dinosaurs” will do battle with Baby Bop (PCGM Record: 0-1-0 Odds: 250-1) who ran in Barney’s Entourage on the long-running television drama “Barney and Friends.”

            Who will come out victorious? Well for that we must turn to the completely unbiased PCA Dinosaur Algorithm. Some say that the Algorithm invented kangaroos and that it can swim underwater… on land. All we know is that it is the only way to determine a winner in this heated contest. The doorknob we use to activate the Algorithm has been replaced by a game of “Mouse Trap.” I’ve started the trap!

            Earl wins! Score one for reality TV over animated TV!

            Let’s hurry things along here and see just what our second match will be.

            Looks like the Algorithim has included a photo of its favorite Dream player, forward Angel Mccoughtry! The Algotrithm has been a huge WNBA fan for years now and I’ve never seen it so excited about a playoff matchup. Anyway, Earl’s mischievous, frying-pan wielding, catchphrase-spouting son Baby Sinclair will be locking proverbial horns with Baby Bop’s Vincent Chase, a purple dinosaur who thinks it’s a super-dee-duper idea to kick some butt, Barney!

            Let’s fire up the old Algorithm here and see just who will claim victory. “Mouse Trap” has been replaced by “Don’t Wake Daddy” and I’ve just woken him! Run!

            Baby wins! It would appear that playing the odds was smart this week as both favorites won big. Somewhere Earl and Baby’s longtime friend, collaborator and father-figure, Michael Jacobs, is smiling.

            How about we take a look at the latest bracket as we near the conclusion of the first round of tournament action!

Click to Enlarge

            Onward and upward to the ‘Jurassic Park’ Clip of the Week!

            Let’s end this mess with a new Beard of the Day!

Leave it to this man to capture the first ever Dinosaur Wednesday Double Crown, taking home 'Jurassic Park' Clip of the Week and Beard of the Day! Could it be any other? The "Sam Jackson!"

            Thanks for reading and, as always, vaya con dios!    

Image Credits: Jackson, Angel, logo, fireworks, Troodon bw, Troodon

Do you know what time it is?

            Sadly, it is not tool time, but it is, in fact, Dinosaur Wednesday! Show me some love Norman!

 Ba dum chi!

            Let us begin, as per the agreement we made when I took this job, with the Outstanding Dinosaur Award!

            The Outstanding Dinosaur Award is given to dinosaurs who distinguish themselves conspicuously by gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of his or her life above and beyond the call of duty while engaged in an action against an enemy of dinosaur kind.

            Borises and Natashas, this week’s Outstanding Dinosaur is…

Click to Enlarge

           Apatosaurus! This is the second sauropod to win the Outstanding Dinosaur Award if you recall way back on July 7^th when the Brachiosaurus took home the crown. What a coup for our long-necked brethren! Shine on my brothers!

            Let’s check out some fast facts courtesy of our friends over at EnchantedLearning.com! 

• An Apatosaurus skeleton was once misidentified as a separate animal and named Brontosaurus. These two animals have since been discovered to be one in the same and the name Brontosaurus has been discontinued.
• Herbivore
• 70-90 feet long
• 15 feet tall at the hips
• 33-38 tons
• 50 foot long, whip-like tail balanced out its roughly 40 foot long neck
• Was able to lift its head roughly 17 feet off of the ground
• Nostrils were located on the top of its head for unknown reasons
• Lived during the late Jurassic Period, about 157-146 million years ago
• Lived in Western North America

            Fascinating stuff! Now let’s get back to the 2010 Prehistoric Celebrity King of the Steel Cage Tournament!

            Here is a look at where we stand so far.

Click to Enlarge

          As you can see, last week, early favorite Rex from “Toy Story” defeated Rudy the villain from “Ice Age 3.” On the other side of the bracket, our Mystery Contestant bested a Raptor from “Jurassic Park III.”

            Keep in mind that the winner of this prestigious tournament will receive ONE MILLION dollars worth of multicolored hooded sweatshirts courtesy of Janice Redington in addition to the even more valuable bragging rights they will hold over their fellow Prehistoric Celebrities.

            As always, the winner of each match will be determined by our patented PCA Dinosaur Algorithm. Some say that it was the algorithm which rejected Ilya Kovalchuk’s contract extension with the New Jersey Devils and that it once actually played an entire game of “Mouse Trap,” instead of just arbitrarily setting up the trap.

Click to Enlarge

           This week’s first match features the beloved Little Foot (PCGM Record 0-0-0, Odds: 75-1) from “The Land Before Time” films taking on one of the ferocious and cunning Velociraptors (PCGM Record: 0-1-0, Odds: 20-1) from the first “Jurassic Park” film.             

            The algorithm’s ignition system has been replaced with a twist off cap… the cap has been twisted off!

Click to Enlarge

      The Raptor has advanced! What a contest! Now let’s hurry along to our second match of the evening.

Click to Enlarge

        Dino, the Flintstone family’s pet dinosaur (PCGM Record: 1-0-0, Odds: 40-1) will be facing the Spinosaurus from “Jurassic Park III” (PCGM Record: 0-0-0, Odss: 17-1). The twist off cap has been replaced with a door knob and I’m turning it now!

Click to Enlarge

        The Spinosaurus comes out on top! What a dark day as not one but TWO villains advance into the second round of our tournament. Here’s an updated look at our bracket.

Click to Enlarge

      Now it’s time once again for the ‘Jurassic Park’ Clip of the Week!

            That’s all for today! Thanks for reading and vaya con dios!

Image Credits: Apatosaurus, Compare

Well my friends, things are starting to get a little sporadic here at PCA. The father of one of my oldest and dearest clients has provided me with employment which is good news. Sadly it also comes with bad news: I will not be able to update as frequently as I was doing when I was spending the majority of my day twiddling my thumbs. 

            However, I promise you that I will try, try, triceratops… 

Ba dum chi! 

              Thank you Norman. As I was saying, I will try my best to keep up as best as I can. In that spirit, let us move on to our main event. Ladies and gentlemen, no job that has ever existed can stop the perennial party train that is: Dinosaur Wednesday! 

            It’s time to honor this week’s Outstanding Dinosaur! This award is given to the dinosaur judged to have done the most or the best work for fraternity between nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies and for the holding and promotion of peace congresses. 

            This week’s Outstanding Dinosaur is… 

Click to Enlarge

            Ceratosaurus! The carnivores are running this city! Oh yes! The carnivores are running this city! 

Ba dum chi!    

            It’s time for some quick facts about this horn-nosed predator courtesy of the number one internet destination for grown up dinosaur enthusiasts, EnchantedLearning.com! 

• 15-20 feet long
• Weight: ½ to 1 ton
• In addition to the horn on its snout, it also had two bony eye brow ridges and bony knobs and ridges on top of its head
• Short arms, four fingers on each hand
• Lived during the late Jurassic period, about 156 million to 145 million years ago
• May have hunted in groups
• High intelligence
• Walked on two legs
• Thought to have been a good swimmer due to its long, thin tail
• Called Colorado, Utah and Tanzania home           

            That brings us to this week’s debut edition of the long-promised new feature Ask-A-Dinosaur! Play the theme Norman! 

*Crickets* 

            Hmm… did I mention that I’ve been a bit busy lately? Hey, I’m doing my best! I’m no lazy bones… get it? Bones, you know like fossils? 

*Crickets* 

            I promise that this will get going next week. I’m almost out of the developmental stages on this thing, I swear it. 

            Never fear because today does, in fact, mark the beginning of the 2010 Prehistoric King of the Steel Cage tournament! In order to keep this thing from lasting until the new year, we’re going to do not one but TWO matches each week as we work our way through the bracket. In case you’ve misplaced your quasi-collectable bracket, here is a brand new copy. 

Click to Enlarge

            As always, we will rely on the patented PCA Dinosaur Algorithm to decide the victor in each match. Some say that the algorithm spends its free time predicting the future and that it invented lettuce. All we know is that it is the only possible method we have to determine a winner in these colossal battles. 

            Remember, the winner of this single elimination tournament will receive ONE MILLION dollars worth of multicolored hooded sweatshirts courtesy of Janice Redington, as well as bragging rights. 

Click to Enlarge

            Alright, our first match features tournament favorite and beloved star of the “Toy Story” franchise, Rex (2-1 odds, PCGM Record: 2-0-0) taking on the large underdog Rudy (80-1 odds, PCGM Record: 0-1-0, who was the main villain of the smash hit “Ice Age 3: Dawn of the Dinosaurs.” 

            The pass code has been replaced by a valve wheel and I’m turning it… NOW! 

            Rex wins! The toy T-Rex avoids succumbing to any sort of jinx associated with being the tournament favorite and advances to the second round! 

Click to Enlarge

            Our second match of the day pits the green mowhawked raptors from “Jurassic Park III” (PCGM Record: 0-0-0, 85-1 odds) against our unknown Mystery Contestant (PCGM Record: unknown, no odds given). I’m not sure how the algorithm will be able to calculate a winner when it has no information on one of the contestants, but that it why it gets paid the big bucks (15 of Janice’s stuffed animals a week, size: varied). The valve wheel has just now been replaced by a car ignition. I’m inserting and turning the key… NOW! 

            The Mystery Contestant comes out on top! Shocking! The algorithm has sent the unknown participant into the second round. Who knows what sort of havoc this walking question mark could cause if it continues to progress deeper into the tournament? 

            Tune in next week for more first round matches as we continue in our quest to name the 2010 Prehistoric King of the Steel Cage! 

Click to Enlarge

            On to the “Jurassic Park” Clip of the Week! 

            And let’s put a bow on this thing with a brand new Beard of the Day as we continue with our Beatles Week! 

He split time on lead vocals, facial hair and slappa'd da bass. Ladies and gentlemen, the "Paul McCartney!"

             That’s all for today my friends! I’ll be back soon. Until our paths cross again: vaya con dios! 

Image Credits: Norman, chart, ceratosaurus, new cage, McCartney 

My friends, we are less than a week away from the start of the 2010 Prehistoric Celebrity King of the Steel Cage tournament. It is now time to learn the names of the prehistoric celebrities who will be participating in this epic throw down. Remember, the winner of this single elimination tournament will receive ONE MILLION dollars worth of multicolored hooded sweatshirts courtesy of Janice Redington, as well as bragging rights and a possible title shot at SummerSlam!    

• Rex

• Claim To Fame: The adorably shy and clumsy Tyrannosaurus Rex plastic toy star of the much loved “Toy Story” franchise
• Prehistoric Celebrity Grudge Match Record: 2-0-0
• Chances of Winning (Provided by gambling enthusiast and noted film producer Drake Stone): 2-1

• Rudy

• Claim to Fame: The main villain in the worldwide smash hit “Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs,” Rudy is an albino Baryonyx who famously did battle with Simon Pegg’s one-eyed weasel character   
• PCGM Record: 0-1-0
• Chances: 80-1

• Little Foot

• Claim to Fame: Apatosaurus star of “The Land Before Time” film series, which has reached a grand total of 13 entries. Worked with both Stephen Spielberg and George Lucas in the late 1980’s.
• PCGM Record: 0-0-0
• Chances: 75-1

• Raptor (Jurassic Park)

• Claim to Fame: Took out BOTH Sam Jackson and legendary Australian naturalist Robert Muldoon in the first “Jurassic Park” film. Nearly ate several main characters, but was interrupted by a meddling T-Rex. Also, could open doors.
• PCGM Record: 0-1-0
• Chances: 20-1

• Earl

• Claim to Fame: A Megalosaurus who starred in the beloved Michael Jacobs produced 90’s sitcom “Dinosaurs.” Famously bought about an ice age in the show’s finale, which of course, ended the dinosaurs’ collective time on Earth.
• PCGM Record: 1-0-0
• Chances: 30-1

• Baby Bop

• Claim to Fame: Barney’s Triceratops sidekick on the long running children’s TV show “Barney and Friends.”
• PCGM Record: 0-1-0
• Chances: 250-1

• Rexy

• Claim to Fame: Lovable T-Rex skeleton which inhabits the American Museum of Natural History in the “Night at the Museum Films.” Comes to life each night and acts like a frisky puppy, frequently playing fetch with night watchman Larry Daly (Ben Stiller).
• PCGM Record: 1-0-0
• Chances: 25-1

• T-Rex (Jurassic Park)

• Claim to Fame: Took out the scummy lawyer, a goat, a Gallimimus and a car in the original “Jurassic Park” film. Also, bested the raptors in a handicap match near the movie’s conclusion.
• PCGM Record: 1-0-0
• Chances: 15-1

• Trixie

• Claim to Fame: This toy triceratops co-starred with Rex in the highest grossing film of the year, “Toy Story 3,” alongside some other minor characters.
• PCGM Record: 2-0-0
• Chances: 10-1

• Compy (Jurassic Park 2)

• Claim to Fame: This little guy and his pals attacked a young girl and her family over some roast beef sandwiches during the opening sequence of “The Lost World: Jurassic Park.”
• PCGM Record: 0-0-0
• Chances: 300-1

• Baby

• Claim to Fame: One of the most popular characters from the 90’s sitcom “Dinosaurs,” Baby is an unknown species of dinosaur. He is best remembered for his numerous witty catchphrases (“I’m the baby!” “Not the mama!”) and for beating his father, Earl, over the head with a frying pan.
• PCGM Record: 1-0-0
• Chances: 3-1

• Barney

• Claim to Fame: Host of the children’s TV show “Barney and Friends.” Wrote and recorded the hit song, “I Love You, You Love Me,” which was later covered by Slipknot.
• PCGM Record: 0-2-0
• Chances: 105-1

• Spinosaurus (Jurassic Park 3)

• Claim to Fame: Wreaked all sorts of havoc in the underwhelming “Jurassic Park III.” Killed a T-Rex and supplanted it as the franchise’s number one villain after a vicious jungle battle.
• PCGM Record: 0-0-0
• Chances: 17-1

• Dino

• Claim to Fame: Flintstone family’s pet “Snorkasaurus” in the classic TV series “The Flintstones.” Like Rexy, he is prone to dog-like behavior.   
• PCGM Record: 1-0-0
• Chances: 40-1

• Raptor (Jurassic Park 3)

• Claim to Fame: Sported nifty green Mohawks and improved communication abilities in “Jurassic Park III.” Someone stole one of their eggs, I think, and that was a big problem for everyone.
• PCGM Record: 0-0-0
• Chances: 85-1

• Mystery Contestant

• Claim to Fame: Unknown
• PCGM Record: Unknown
• Chances: Flip a coin?

            Here’s is your OFFICIAL and mildly collectable 2010 Prehistoric Celebrity King of the Steel Cage tournament bracket!

Click to Enlarge

            Lastly, here is today’s Beard of the Day! 

Dashing, thy name is Clooney. Ladies and gentlemen, the "George Clooney."

            That’s all for now. Vaya con dios! 

Image Credits: Rexy, T-Rex (Night at the Museum), Trixie, Barney, Little Foot, Baby Sinclair, T-Rex (JP 1), Spinosaurus, Raptor (JP 1),  Earl Sinclair, Baby Bop, Rudy, Dino, Raptor (JP 3), Compy (JP 2), Mystery Contestant, Clooney

             All aboard boys and gulls because the Dinosaur Wednesday boat is leaving the dock and heading out to open water! I can’t promise you that no one will be eaten by sharks upon our arrival. What I can promise is that our time there will be infinitely more entertaining than the movie “Open Water.” Should have called that movie “Closed Eyelids” because it put me to sleep. 

    Ba Dum Chi!

            That’s Norman, the new Dinosaur Wednesday drummer. He likes telling long rambling stories and taking time to enjoy the finer things in life. Don’t get in a car with him though. He’s a bit of a drinker…

            Well, look at that. We’ve got a boat AND a drummer. Dinosaur Wednesday is kind of a big deal. 

            How about we get to this week’s Outstanding Dinosaur Award? This award is given to dinosaurs who have made “an especially meritorious contribution to the security or national interests of dinosaurs, world peace, cultural or other significant public or private endeavors.” Ladies and gentlemen, this week’s Outstanding Dinosaur is… 

Click to Enlarge

            The Ankylosaurus! Yet another herbivore takes home the Outstanding Dinosaur Award. Perhaps I’m truly a closeted vegetarian after all. Ah well. Let me finish eating these bacon wrapped chicken fingers and I’ll get back to you. Bacon and chicken don’t count as meat, right? Show me show love Norman! 

Ba Dum Chi!

            Let’s take a look at some fascinating facts about the Ankylosaurus courtesy of the prestigious science website EnchantedLearning.com. 

• Height: 4 feet
• Length: 25-35 feet
• Width: 6 feet
• Weight: 3-4 tons
• Had thick plates embedded on its back along with two rows of spikes
• Even its eyes were protected by plates
• Underside was the only part which was vulnerable to attack
• Club-like tail
• Lived in the late Cretaceous Period, about 70-65 million years ago
• Low intelligence
• Lived in Western USA and Canada (USA! USA! and Canada… USA!) 

            And so there you have it. The Ankylosaurus, this week’s Outstanding Dinosaur! 

            Now it’s time to take a peak inside of the PCA Steel Cage to see what’s brewing in this week’s Prehistoric Celebrity Grudge Match! 

Click to Enlarge

            What the dickens? Well, it appears that the algorithm is still on its feng shui kick. It seems to have installed a Japanese Rock Garden inside of our Steel Cage for meditation purposes. It is a lovely rock garden I must admit, but where are our prehistoric celebrities? How can there be massive, laughably elaborate carnage without the prehistoric celebrities? Hang on a minute. I’m receiving a transmission from the algorithm. Let me just run this through the official PCA Binary Translator and see what’s going on. 

            Aha. Well, that is spectacular news! Ladies and gentlemen, the algorithm has just informed me that there will be NO Prehistoric Celebrity Grudge Match this week! Why is that spectacular news? Well, it means that the celebrities will have the week off to train because next Wednesday marks the beginning of the official Prehistoric Celebrity King of the Steel Cage! That’s right! 16 Prehistoric Celebrities in a single-elimination tournament. The winner will receive ONE MILLION DOLLARS worth of multicolored hooded sweatshirts courtesy of Janice Redington, as well as bragging rights amongst his/her fellow celebrities. And maybe a title shot a ”SummerSlam,” I haven’t decided yet.  

            There can only be ONE King of the Steel Cage. The tournament begins next Wednesday!         

            What momentous news! I’m literally trembling with both anticipation and fear. The definition of epic has just been altered on Dictionary.com to include this tournament. But wait! There’s more! Now it’s time for the ‘Jurassic Park’ Clip of the Week! 

            I realize that today was supposed to be the debut of the Ask A Dinosaur feature. Sadly, due to some unexpected problems involving a yard sale, this will have to be postponed until next week. Wow, next Wednesday’s Dinosaur Wednesday is shaping up to be pretty awesome. This one… well. Sorry. What do you say we end this thing in style with a brand new Beard of the Day! 

Who needs brick and mortar when you have facial hair? Ladies and gentlemen, the "Elmar Weiser!"

            Thanks for stopping by and check in tomorrow for a collectable (you can collect it if you want, I wouldn’t) Prehistoric Celebrity King of the Steel Cage tournament bracket! Get one before they become extinct! How about it Norman? what, no love? Yeah, you’re probably right. 

            Vaya con dios! 

Image Credits: Norman, Anky diagram, Anky 2, rocks, beard