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Yes we can! Yes we can indeed do another Dinosaur Wednesday! That’s right, my friends, the most important day in the history of mankind, Dinosaur Wednesday, is back from hiatus! I can assure you that it looks both tanned and well rested.

            Now it is time to begin, as we regularly do, with the Outstanding Dinosaur Award. Each week this prestigious award is given to the dinosaur who best excels at the fine art of dinosaur-ing. Ladies and gentlemen, this week’s Outstanding Dinosaur is…

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             Yes the Edmontosaurus! Victory at last! Wait a minute. Something isn’t right here. Hang on… I’ve got it. Let’s try this again.

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           The Edmontosaurus! That’s better. Now, let’s learn a few things about our exceptional, duck-billed friend courtesy of our pals over at EnchantedLearning.com, the internet’s #1 source for pastel color schemes AND dinosaur trivia.

            And people say that Steven Spielberg has range. On to the facts!

• 42 feet long
• Weighed up to 3.5 tons
• Lived during the Cretaceous Period, about 73-65 million years ago
• Herbivore
• Had no teeth in its beak, but had hundreds in its cheeks to grind up food
• Walked mostly on four legs, but could also use just its back legs if need be
• No real defenses, fairly slow-moving
• Thought to have migrated from Alaska to Alberta, Canada depending on season
• Greatest threat: T-Rex

            So there you have it! The Edmontosaurus in all its duck-billed glory.

            There are big things a-brewing inside of the PCA Steel Cage this week. Let’s take a gander at who will be having words in this week’s Prehistoric Celebrity Grudge Match!

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            Can you believe it? The stars of the “Jurassic Park” series engaging in the first ever Prehistoric Celebrity Grudge Match Triple Threat Match! There are a lot of matches in that title! This is going to be very exciting.

            In one corner we have the Tyrannosaurus Rex from “Jurassic Park.” This lovable beast is best remembered for destroying a few cars, eating a lawyer and basically just running amok after Newman from “Seinfeld” turned off the power. In a different corner we have a Tyrannosaurus Rex from “The Lost World: Jurassic Park.” This T-Rex is notorious for eating a whole bunch of people on a boat and then wreaking havoc in downtown San Diego. In a third corner is the T-Rex from “Jurassic Park III.” This fellow’s claim to fame involves getting into a huge fight with a Spinosaurus and being promptly dispatched. Lastly, in the fourth corner we have a… umm… potted plant. According to the algorithm, it’s… ahhh… important for the Steel Cage’s feng shui. We don’t argue with the algorithm.

            Who will reign supreme? Will the T-Rex from the first film dominate with its critical acclaim or will the “Lost World” T-Rex use its street smarts? Perhaps the T-Rex from “III” will beat them both senseless with the huge chip that it’s been carrying on its shoulder after being constantly made fun of for all these years.

            There is only one way to find out who will win and that is with the help of our patented Dinosaur Algorithm. Some say that the algorithm knows no fear except for soggy flapjacks and that it used to spend its Tuesday nights bar hopping with Albert Einstein and Duke Ellington. All we know is that it is only method we have of determining a winner. The lever has been replaced with a pass code, I’m entering the correct sequence of numbers and letters NOW!

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            Box office clout and critical acclaim come out on top as the original “Jurassic Park” T-Rex emerges victorious! Truly a sensational donnybrook. One for the ages.

            Now it’s time for a Prehistoric Breaking News Flash!

Click Here for the Inside Scoop!

            On to the “Jurassic Park” Clip of the Week!

            The Famous Filmmakers Beard of the Day series continues on…

This man was notoriously meticulous when it came to both his iconic films and his legendary facial hair. The man behind such masterpieces as "Dr. Strangelove," "A Clockwork Orange," "2001" and "The Shining," ladies and gentlemen I humbly present: the "Stanley Kubrick."

            That’s all for today my friends! Thanks for stopping by and hopefully enjoying the return of Dinosaur Wednesday. Make sure you tune in next week as Dinosaur Wednesday presents its newest feature: Ask A Dinosaur! It should be quite epic.

            Vaya con dios!

Image Credits: Edmontosaurus vs. person, Edmontosaurus, T-Rex 1, T-Rex 2, T-Rex 3, Plant, Trixie, Breaking News, Kubrick, Gretzky Cup, Gretzky SI

And so another Dinosaur Wednesday is upon us! Let’s start off with this week’s Outstanding Dinosaur Award!

            This award is presented to the dinosaur which best exemplifies a commitment to all things cool, neat and groovy. Not necessarily in that order. Ladies and gentlemen, this week’s Outstanding Dinosaur is…

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            The pachycephalosaurus! Not only is this a very groovy dinosaur, but look at that name! Eighteen letters, my goodness. This thing sounds like an ingredient in “all-natural” shampoo. That very impressive name means “thick-headed lizard.” I assume the name comes from the beast’s thick skull because I can’t find any corroboration on the idea that this particular dinosaur was stubborn or unreasonable. That being said, let’s take a look at some pachy-facts courtesy of the adult oriented, pastel themed and very, VERY serious educational site EnchantedLearning.com.

• 15 feet long
• 950 pounds
• Its skull was roughly 15 inches thick
• Likely attacked enemies from the side as its skull was too porous and fragile for head-to-head attacks
• Lived during the late Cretaceous period, about 76 to 65 million years ago
• Probably evolved from the Hypsilophodon
• Running away was probably its best defense

       So there you have it. This week’s Outstanding Dinosaur Award winner, the pachycephalosaurus.

       Now it’s time to take a peak inside the PCA Steel Cage to see which two terrible lizards will be throwing down in fisticuffs in this week’s Prehistoric Celebrity Grudge Match.

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       Well look at that! It seems that this week’s battle is simply too big to fit inside the confines of our Steel Cage. The grudge far too heated. Instead, we will be holding the first ever Prehistoric Celebrity Grudge (Ladder) Match! Now this is exciting. The first combatant to climb the ladder will receive not only the usual immense glory that comes with winning in our arena, but a fabulous prize as well!

       They will receive the 2011 Chevy Volt! The Chevy volt can drive up to 40 miles a day without using a single drop of gasoline! We all know that if there is ONE thing that dinosaurs love above all else, it’s fuel efficiency.

       This week’s contestants come to us from the 1990’s television version of “Land of the Lost.” In the polka dotted corner is Tasha, an orphaned baby Parasaurolophus. It seems that Tasha’s mother was killed by the dinosaur in the sea foam green corner. He just so happens to be a T-Rex named Scarface. Naturally, he has a huge scar on the right side of his face and is also blind in his right eye.

       The first dinosaur up that ladder will win the 2011 Chevy volt and will claim the title of Best Dinosaur in the 90’s version of “Land of the Lost.” In order to find out who will come out on top, we will need to consult that PCA Dinosaur Algorithm. Some say that the algorithm understands Lady Gaga and that it once finished third in a Freddy Mercury look alike contest. In any case, it is the only way we have to determine a winner. The button has been replaced with a lever and I’m pulling it now!

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       Scarface wins! Incredible! What a shocking turn of events. What’s even more interesting is that the algorithm has decided to release an explanation as to why Scarface came out on top. There is a first time for everything I suppose. Let’s see what it had to say.

       1000101010101011101010101011010101010011010101010101.

       Hmm. Binary. Well, that’s not much use to us is it? Let’s see. I’ll just take out my handy binary to English dictionary here and translate.

       “Scarface wins, despite reminding me of that god-awfully overrated Oliver Stone movie because Tasha reminds me too much of Godzilla’s horrifically irritating son Minilla. Scarface>Minilla.”

       And so there it is! The first ever insight into the mindset of the algorithm. Next time I’ll have to ask it if there’s any truth to the rumor that the algorithm sleeps upside down like a bat.

       Off to the Jurassic Park Clip of the Week!

       Hmm… well that’s probably not true. Otherwise there would be a ton of T-Rexes constantly bumping into walls. Lastly, it’s time for the Beard of the Day!

Yet another winner that has no need for an explanation. I'm sure this guy has a very tolerant significant other at home. Ladies and gentlemen, the ummm... "this guy."

       That’s all for today. Thanks for stopping by and vaya con dios. 

Image Credits: Pachycephalosaurus, E Pachy, Tasha, Scarface, Ladder, Volt , Beard

            And so here we are, washed up on the shores of another Dinosaur Wednesday!  As always, we start with the Outstanding Dinosaur Award to be given out. Each week this award is presented to the Johnny Depp of the Dinosaur universe. Remember to click on any picture to see a HI-DEF version. This week’s Outstanding Dinosaur is…

            The Deinonychus! What the heck is a Deinonychus you may ask? Well, remember the raptors in the “Jurassic Park” films? You do? Well good because those were, more or less, Deinonychus. I assume that they were called Velociraptors in the film because that name is cooler and easier to say. In actuality though, Velociraptors were heavily feathered and were about the size of modern day turkeys. Deinonychus in all likelihood also had feathers, but this isn’t a definite. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the wonderful world of creative license. I think we can all agree that seeing a couple of turkey-sized, feather monsters running around in “Jurassic Park” would not have been as what we were given. For that, Michael Crichton deserves our praise.

            Back to our friend the Deinonychus. Its name means “terrible claw,” which is probably a reference to the 5-inch-long, retractable razor blade it had on the second toe of each foot. Let’s find out some more about this delightful killing machine courtesy of our friends over at EnchantedLearning.com. It’s like the Smithsonian Institute, only with slightly more pastels.

• Length: 10 feet
• Height: 5 feet
• Weight: 175 pounds
• Lived during the Cretaceous Period, about 110 to 100 million years ago
• May have hunted in organized packs
• Among the smartest of the dinosaurs based on brain:body weight ratio, which made them incredibly lethal
• Carnivore
•  Took up residence in Western North America
• Fast runner due to light weight and long legs

            So there you have the Deinonychus! This week’s Outstanding Dinosaur Award recipient! Hopefully you will take away some useful trivia to regale your family and friends with. As I mentioned last week, the primary focus of this blog is education. We did away with that entertainment stuff years ago. Next week I will have to pick something that wasn’t in “Jurassic Park,” because all of this creative license stuff is making my head hurt.

            Now it’s time to take a peak inside of the Post Collegiate Apocalypse Steel Cage and see who is battling it out in this week’s Prehistoric Celebrity Grudge Match!

            Oh my goodness! It looks like this is going to be a handicap match! In the beige corner is the Tyrannosaurus Zord! This robotic menace was piloted by Jason, the Red Ranger in the “Mighty Morphin Power Rangers” TV show before it got all weird and crappy. The Red Ranger was the leader of the Power Rangers before Tommy showed up. After that it was clear that Tommy was the top dog because, well, he was just better. Still the T-Rex Zord was very cool and it formed the main body of the MegaZord battle suit. In the mauve corner are Mama and Papa! You may better know them as the angry parents from “The Lost World: Jurassic Park.” When their youngin’ went a-missin’ these two went on a rampage to end all rampages. One of them even got to go on a lovely San Francisco vacation later in the film. I hope this doesn’t make me a species-ist, but I don’t know which one. I can’t tell them apart. Don’t tell them I said that.

            As you well know, the only way to determine who will win this epic showdown is with the help of the PCA Dinosaur Algorithm. Some say that the algorithm knows exactly where pi ends and that it has done everything “Man vs. Food” has done…twice. Either or but it is the only way we have to determine a winner! I’m pushing the button! Pushing… hmm. The stupid thing isn’t working. Well, that’s a nuisance. Oh, wait a minute! Wrong button. Here we go!

            Can you believe it! The Tyrannosaurus Zord has come out victorious after some last minute interference by none other than Tommy’s Dragon Zord! I really thought Mama and Papa had this one in the bag, especially after they put the T-Rex Zord through that stack of tables but NO! The Dragon Zord shows up and saves the day for the Power Rangers! We should have known better than to call this a handicap match. When you mess with one Power Ranger, by God, you mess with them all.

            Of course, the Dragon Zord is in no way a Dinosaur or a Prehistoric being of any sort, making this whole thing VERY illegal but we’re going to allow it. The algorithm was distracted by a spectator holding up a sign featuring a sequence of 1’s and 0’s when the interference took place.

            And now on to the “Jurassic Park Clip of the Week!”

            Lastly, how about another round of Junior Archaeologist Fossil Detective Time? Remember, all you need to do in order to win a shiny new quarter is to correctly identify BOTH the fossil pictured and the Dinosaur it belonged to. Let’s take a look at this week’s fossil!

What could it be? Believe it or not it's just...

            Oh boy! Submit your answers in the comment section for a chance at the shiny new quarter. (WARNING: The shiny-ness of the quarter may be a bit exaggerated)

            As always, we shall conclude with a new Beard of the Day! Today marks the second installment of our Literary Giants series.

He may look like an American Civil War general, but I can assure you he is not. He happens to be the author of such novels and "The Brothers Karamazov" and "Crime and Punishment." Ladies and gentlemen, the "Fyodor Dostoevsky."

            Thanks for reading! Vaya con dios!

Image Credits: deinonychus, size, t-rex zord, mama and papa, dragonzord, dostoevsky

And so it is. Another Dinosaur Wednesday is upon us, bringing with it much rejoicing and making of merriment. You know, Dinosaur Wednesday has been called the “Christmas of Luxembourg.” I’m just saying.

            Taking over the world one tiny country at a time.

            Let’s start, as always, with the Outstanding Dinosaur Award. This prestigious trophy is given out to the dinosaur most committed to the principles of cool dictated in “The Leather Jacket Chronicles: The True Meaning of Ehhhh,” which is of course the autobiography of The Fonze. This week’s Outstanding Dinosaur is…

            The Dilophosaurus! Incredible! Perhaps one of the most misunderstood dinosaurs of all time, thanks to its depiction in “Jurassic Park.” Apparently, there is no evidence that the dilophosaurus could spit paralyzing venom or that it had a kickin’ peacock-crest. These are things that I didn’t know prior to this entry. Apparently, the fi in sci-fi stands for fiction. Who would have guessed such a thing? That’s why this blog, first and foremost, is about education. I gave up on that entertainment nonsense a long time ago.

            Anywho, let’s take a look at some more fascinating facts about our friend the dilophosaurus courtesy of EnchantedLearning.com, bringing the dinosaurs of the past to the soon to be dinosaurs of the present.

• Length – 20 feet long
• Height – 5 feet tall at the hips
• Weight – 650 to 1,000 pounds
• Lived during the early Jurassic period, about 201 to 189 million years ago  
• Fossils mostly found in Arizona, proving once again that North America is the dinosaur capital of the world! We’re #1! We’re #1!
• Carnivore

            And now let’s journey once again into the PCA Steel Cage to see who will be throwing down in fisticuffs in this week’s Prehistoric Celebrity Grudge Match.

            My goodness! The first ever Prehistoric Celebrity Grudge Match Tag Team Battle! This is extraordinary! In one corner we have the unquestioned stars of “Toy Story 3,” Rex the Tyrannosaurus and Trixie the Triceratops. Both of these plastic, fully poseable dynamos have already triumphed inside of our steel cage in individual competition. Now it is time to see how much chemistry comes from being manufactured by the same company. In the other corner is another supremely dangerous Tyrannosaurus/ Triceratops combination, Barney and his sidekick Baby Bop. Barney is also undefeated inside of our Steel Cage, but this is the first go-around for Baby Bop. So there you have it. The age-old war between children’s TV shows and children’s movies is about to be settled once and for all.

            Of course there is only one way to determine a winner in this battle across entertainment mediums and that is with the PCA Dinosaur Algorithm. Some say that the algorithm invented the Long Island Ice Tea and that its polar opposite is NY Islanders GM Garth Snow. Either or, but it is the only way we have to select a winner. I’ve pushed the button!

            There it is! The totally unbiased results are in! Children’s movies have triumphed over children’s television! The debate has ended! Rexy and Trixie remain undefeated in the Steel Cage! I would hate to come upon these two adorable creatures in a dark alley, I can tell you that.

            Let’s take a look at this week’s Jurassic Park Clip of the Week!

            Who cares if it’s all a lie? It’s just so cool! Lastly, it’s time for the Beard of the Day, as we continue with our Famous Thinkers Series.

That's right sir. You are number one! Thanks in part to the allegory of the cave, but mostly because of your spectacular beard. Ladies and gentlemen, the Plato.

            That’s all for today. Thanks once again to the good people of Luxembourg for making this the number one dinosaur blog in the whole of the country. All 999 square miles of it. Vaya con dios.

Image Credits: Plato, Rex, Trixie, Barney, Dilophosaurus, Compare

            Ladies and gentlemen, reports are streaming in that on Thursday night at exactly 9 p.m. Eastern Standard Time live worldwide on ESPN, LeBron James will announce that he LOVES Dinosaur Wednesday. 

            And maybe some nonsense about a contract, but who cares about that anyway? 

            So in honor of King James, here is Dinosaur Wednesday: Week 5! 

            Let’s begin with the Outstanding Dinosaur Award! Each week this award is presented to the dinosaur that is so cool that it makes the Fonz look like Stephen Hawking’s half brother Malcolm. This week’s Outstanding Dinosaur is… 

Click on ALL images for a Hi-Def-ish look at them

           The Brachiosaurus! The plant eaters maintain their supremacy here on Dinosaur Wednesday! The Brachiosaurus is best known for its super long neck as well as for sneezing on the little girl in the first “Jurassic Park” film. Ah so many memories. Let’s take us a gander at some facts on this wondrous creature courtesy of EnchantedLearning.com, the internet’s number #1 destination for amateur archaeologists everywhere.

• Name means “arm lizard”
• Length- 80-85 feet long
• Height- 23 feet tall at the hips, 40-50 feet at the head
• Weight- 33-88 tons
• Lived late Jurassic Period, about 156-145 million years ago
• Fossils have been found in North America, Africa and Europe. Brachiosaurus was quite the jet setter.
• Its front legs were actually longer than its back legs, hence the name arm lizard.

            And so the herbivores remain on top of the Post Collegiate Apocalypse food chain for yet another week. 

            Now once again it’s time to take a peek inside of the PCA Steel Cage to see which two prehistoric paparazzi magnets will be battling it out in this week’s Prehistoric Celebrity Grudge Match!  

            Once again history will be made here in the Post Collegiate Apocalypse Steel Cage! We’ve had to add a roof to our cage in order to contain the Ptranodon, which is the first ever flying celebrity to grace Dinosaur Wednesday! This airborne terror has got a huge chip on its shoulder due to the fact that it made its debut in easily the weakest of the “Jurassic Park” films. Apparently it gets a lot of guff for that each year at the DinoCon in San Diego, California. In the other corner is the patriarch of the Sinclair family, the father of the dilophosaurus-beating Baby Sinclair, ladies and gentlemen Earl Sinclair! Earl is a megalosaurus best known for his red-checkered work shirt and ushering in the ice age which effectively killed off the dinosaurs forever. He also spent four seasons being bludgeoned over the head by Baby, so pain is hardly something he fears at this point in his life.     

            There is only one way to determine who will win this battle and that is with the help of the Post Collegiate Apocalypse Dinosaur Algorithm. Some say that the algorithm spends its Saturday nights in the Bermuda Triangle playing Texas Hold ‘Em with the Loch Ness Monster and Bigfoot and that it never loses… ever. In any case, it is the only way we have to determine a winner in a fair and most certainly unbiased fashion. I’m pushing the button right… about… NOW! 

            And Earl wins! Once again the Sinclair Family comes out on top in our Steel Cage! 

            Before we get to the Jurassic Park Clip of the Week, it’s time for a little Prehistoric News Flash! All the news that’s fit to print and only 65 million years late! 

            Check out this story about a massive, whale-eating whale that used to patrol Earth’s oceans. Not really dinosaur-related, but still enough to make you into a pool person for the foreseeable future, no doubt. 

            And now for the Jurassic Park Clip of the Week!  

            Lastly, it’s time for a brand new Beard of the Day! 

You can see him now as the host of "Family Feud," but no one will ever forget the days when "I don't think so, Tim" ruled the airwaves. Just don't mess with his mother. I've heard stories about that woman. Ladies and gentlemen, the "Al Borland."

            That’s all for now! Thanks for stopping by for another Dinosaur Wednesday! Thank you for making Dinosaur Wednesday the number one Dinosaur-centered blog entry on QuadBlogs.com! We couldn’t have done it without you! 

            Vaya con dios. 

Image Credits: Brachiosaurus, Brachiosaurus vs. person, Pteranodon, Earl, Huge Whale, Al Borland

Welcome to another Dinosaur Wednesday!

            Let’s start off as we always do, with this week’s Outstanding Dinosaur Award! This award is presented to the dinosaur that you would most like to play a game of Monopoly with, even though if you started winning, it would certainly crush both the board and yourself.

            This week’s Outstanding Dinosaur is…

            The Stegosaurus! Incredible! This is the second week in a row that we have had the Outstanding Dinosaur Award go to a plant-eater. I have a cactus and a bit of bamboo in my room that are none too pleased with the recent disregard I’ve shown for plant life. I should be careful though, after all, they know where I sleep. But any impending plant-related homicides are my problem and not yours. Let’s take a look at some basic statistics on our be-plated champion courtesy of our friends over at enchantedlearning.com, the internet’s #1 source of grown-up oriented dinosaur information.

• Name means “plated lizard”
• 26-30 feet long
• 9 feet tall at the hips
• 6800 pounds
• Late Jurassic Period, roughly 156-140 million years ago
• Lived mainly in Colorado, Utah, Wyoming (‘Merica has all the best dinosaurs)
• 17 boney plates ran along its back in two rows
• Had a brain the size of a walnut

            So there you have it. The herbivores have won it again, though I fear this may only serve to anger the meat-eating contingent of the dinosaur universe. That can only mean bad things for our vegetarian friends. Good thing the Stegosaurus has all those plates, I suppose. Perhaps I’ll throw the meat-eaters a proverbial bone next week… haha. Someone should be paying me to write gold like that! What’s Jimmy Fallon’s phone number?

            Now it’s time to take a peek inside of the Post Collegiate Apocalypse Steel Cage to see who will be battling it out in this week’s Prehistoric Celebrity Grudge Match!

            What a tilt this should be! In one corner you have the STAR of Pixar’s latest masterpiece “Toy Story 3,” the incredibly cute blue Triceratops named Trixie! You’ll notice Trixie appears to be from the same toy line that gave us Rex, the first ever winner of Prehistoric Celebrity Grudge Match. Maybe Rexy’s given her some sort of in with the algorithm. We do know that the algorithm was once an employee of Pixar, but it left due to philosophical differences. We’ll see if that history comes in to play at all. In the other corner we have the villainous, murderous albino Baryonyx who famously butted heads with a one-eyed weasel in the chronological nightmare that was “Ice Age 3.” Just the mere sight of this menace is enough to send chills down your spine. If you hear his roar, then it is already too late. Facing off against Trixie this week… is Rudy.

            Of course, in order to crown a winner in this throw down, I’m going to have to fire up the notorious dinosaur algorithm. Some say that the algorithm is actually Chuck Norris’ phone number and that it understood the last two “Matrix” films. Either way it is the only way to decide a winner. I’m pushing the button… NOW!

            Trixie’s done it! She’s vanquished Rudy and “Toy Story” characters are now 2-0 in Prehistoric Celebrity Grudge Match! This is truly a proud day for Pixar, I’m sure.

            Alright, well it wouldn’t be Dinosaur Wednesday without a Jurassic Park Quote of the Week. This week’s clip comes courtesy of Youtube.com.  

            And let’s wrap this thing up with a brand new Beard of the Day!

Today's winner was once sued by Yosemite Sam for impersonating him over the phone. This beard starred in the film "The Final Sacrifice" which ranks at #11 on the Bottom 100 on IMDb.com. Ladies and Gentlemen, the "crazy, prospector guy!"

            And so we come to the end of another Dinosaur Wednesday my friends. Thanks for reading and vaya con dios!

Ah the third day of the work week. Some call it hump day, others know it as two more to go until the weekend. Me? Well, I just call it Dinosaur Wednesday! Without further adieu let’s get to this week’s award for Outstanding Dinosaur!

            This award is given to the dinosaur that puts the animals of today’s world to shame. A dinosaur so cool that you would love to take a ride on its back, even though just thinking about such a thing could cause the dinosaur in question to kill you without remorse. Ladies and gentlemen, this week’s Outstanding Dinosaur is…

            The Triceratops! This is truly a special day here at Post Collegiate Apocalypse as we celebrate the crowning of out first ever, plant-eating Outstanding Dinosaur. Perhaps this is a sign that I’m mellowing out in my old age. More likely it just means that the Triceratops is just simply too cool for school. Let’s check out some basic stats on this three-horned winner courtesy of the adult-oriented educational site enchantedlearning.com.

• Herbivore
• Length- 30 feet
• Height- 7 feet at the hips
• Weight 6-12 tons
• Name means “three-horned face”
• Lived in Western Canada and Western United States. A local boy really.
• Late Cretaceous period, roughly 72-65 million years ago

            Congratulations to all of the Triceratops out there for their historic victory. Thanks once again to enchantedlearning.com for providing an excellent source of information to all of us grown-up dinosaur enthusiasts out there.

            And now it’s once again time to take a gander inside the Post Collegiate Apocalypse Steel Cage and see who is throwing down in fisticuffs in this week’s Prehistoric Celebrity Grudge Match!

            We’ve got quite the battle in store for you folks this week. To say the least, these competitors don’t much care for each other and are chomping at the bit to get this brawl started. First up we have Dino, the lovable pet dinosaur from TV’s “The Flintstones.” Dino barks like a dog and is likely some type of sauropod, though his definitive classification remains unknown. Dino will be taking on two of the villainous, murderous Carnotaurus from the seemingly forgotten (by me, anyway) Walt Disney film “Dinosaurs.” These beasts have had it out for each other since their posses clashed outside of the 2007 World Dinosaur Awards in Branson, Missouri. Thankfully, Post Collegiate Apocalypse is here to settle this score once and for all.

            In order to find out who will come out on top of this battle, I’m going to have to fire up my notorious dinosaur algorithm. Some say that President Obama is consulting the algorithm to find new and creative ways to punish BP and that it actually wrote the screenplay for the movie “Spice World.” I can’t say for sure either way, but it is the best method we have to determine a winner in this historic slugfest. The button has been pushed!        

            Dino wins! Unbelievable! What a close, hard fought battle that was. It was so close that the algorithm computer is smoking like Shia LeBeouf on the streets of Burbank.

            Ok, well there is just one last order of business to attend to before today’s Dinosaur Wednesday becomes… extinct. Couldn’t resist. Now for today’s Jurassic Park Quote of the Week courtesy of Youtube.com!

            Lastly, it’s time for the Beard of the Day!

He's cool, suave, extremely handsome and very talented. He also grows possibly the scraggliest beard of all time. Call it, Mountain Man chic. Ladies and gentlemen, the "Brad Pitt."

            And so goes another Dinosaur Wednesday. Thanks for stopping by and make sure you venture back tomorrow as my Week of Mourning for the Flyers 2009-10 Season continues with a look at the team’s offseason plans. I’m sure you won’t want to miss that.

            Vaya con dios.

Image Credits: Triceratops; Triceratops v. Human; Dino; Carnotaurus; Steel Cage; Brad Pitt

Now I know that on the surface a 7-4 loss in the Stanley Cup Finals looks pretty bad. When you consider the fact, however, that the Flyers didn’t bother to play the first period, on the power play or on the penalty kill, 7-4 is actually pretty impressive. They were never really out of the game last night, but then again they were never really in it either.

            The Flyers lost that game as a team. Everyone shared in the blame equally. That’s why Michael Leighton will be back in net on Wednesday. I do feel bad for Brian Boucher, though. Every time he comes into a game any more, the Flyers score just enough goals to get Leighton off the hook for the loss, while making sure to continue to play as though it were winter. Or late fall. Or early spring. Really, the Flyers had their share of bad seasons this year.

            There are two games left in the Finals. Now is not the time to hurt yourself falling off of the bandwagon. Stick with these guys. As our friends up in Boston proved, it’s not over until the fourth game is won. On Wednesday, the Flyers will be back in Philly and I expect better things. It’s not every day that Chris Pronger is a -5 at the end of a game, after all. The Flyers special teams, their defense and their goalie are all better than they showed last night.

            Keep the faith, it’s not over yet. 

            Well, due to an impending shore trip, this will be the last day for the blog until next Monday, I believe. I may write something up on Friday, but who can say at this time? I mean, I’ll be back in the Keystone State come Thursday, but sometimes laziness just wins out. Yes sir, laziness is a harsh mistress, but what can I say? I’m just a sucker for a good sit.    

            So, that’s the long-winded way of saying that we’ll see about Friday’s entry. But what of today’s? Well, I can’t just leave you all empty handed, so here is a full week of Post Collegiate Apocalypse in ONE entry! (Warning: Prolonged exposure may cause vomiting, dizziness and can lead to an insatiable love for Johnny Depp.)

            Names I Wish I Wish I Didn’t Know: LeBron James Edition

What do I care if some internet jerk doesn't like me? You see the size of this pec? What do you have to say now English major? That's what I thought...

            Very talented, but I’m tired of hearing about his poor hurt elbow, his impending free agency and his amazing Wii bowling high score, among other need-to-knows. Like the guy, super talented, but for the love of God he’s sitting at home while other basketball players are competing for a championship! He should NOT be the lead story anywhere and yet he is everywhere. Now it’s not his fault, the media will cover what it wants to and that’s why this is directed more at them than him. I have no beef with him really, other than the fact that he’s dangerously close to becoming the NBA’s Alex Ovechkin, but that’s not the issue now.

            Sports journalists of the world! Head my call! No one cares about your idiotic speculating at this juncture. Let’s wait until the post season is over and the free agent season has begun and then you can make all the groundless and uninformed “insider” predictions that you want.

            Until that point, let’s just all pretend that we actually care what happens with the Celtics vs. Lakers series. Seriously, it’s about time that those two underdogs finally got some recognition. It’s just not every day that the Celtics and the Lakers are playing for the NBA championship.

            More like every other day. Five times a week at most.    

            Dinosaur Wednesday!

            Alright, let’s keep this party right on a-rolling! For this special, abbreviated Dinosaur Wednesday, we’ll just focus on our Prehistoric Celebrity Grudge Match! Let’s take a gander at who’s inside of the Post Collegiate Apocalypse steel cage this week!

            This week features Baby Sinclair from the beloved 1990’s sitcom “Dinosaurs.” Baby Sinclair is best known for frequently attacking his father with a frying pan and also for his multitude of witty and mysterious catchphrases. Sadly, the true meaning behind “I’m the baby” was never revealed by the show’s creators.

            Taking on the youngest Sinclair is the Dilophosaurus from the film “Jurassic Park.” The Dilophosaurus is best remembered for its alleged ability to spit paralyzing venom on its victims and also for doing what Jerry Seinfeld was never able to: kill Newman.

            Now it’s time to fire up the old algorithm here and see who would win in this long-awaited battle. Some say that the algorithm can be used to accurately locate Waldo in all of the “Where’s Waldo” books… and that I stole this bit from the TV series “Top Gear.” Either way, it’s the best method yet devised for pitting two Prehistoric Celebrities against one and other. Here we go, I’m pushing the button now!

            And Baby Sinclair has done it! Never underestimate a frying pan in the hands of an angry baby I suppose. Don’t feel too bad for the Dilophosaurus though. From what I’ve heard, he’s got a two-week long guest spot booked for the upcoming season of “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” so he’ll be fine.

            Ok, well rather than close this out with a You Should See, I Should See, I will simply mention that I saw “Get Him to the Greek” yesterday and it was very good. It may be a bit light in terms of laughs per minute, but the script is solid, the performances are great (especially a several-scene-stealing turn by Puff Daddy himself) and the last act brings it all together into one heartfelt and irreverent bowel. Good stuff. I recommend a trip to your local theater for sure, maybe during matinee hours, but still it was very enjoyable. Love me some Russell Brand.

This movie made Colin Feel: Happy and a little turned on by Russell Brand's animal magnitism. Worth a trip to the theater for sure.

             Up next is NOT the Beard of the Day, but rather the Beard of the Week!

This beard began as a practical joke that we're all still waiting for the punchline to but it lives on as a testament to feigned crazys everywhere. Ladies and gentlemen, our Beard of the Week: the "Joaquin Phoenix"

             Ok, well likely that is all for the week my friends. I’m headed to the shore and the Flyers (after Wednesday) will hopefully be headed right back to Chicago for Friday. I’ve been saying it for a while now but don’t stop believin’ (Frank Seravali and Phil Sheridan I’m looking at you two buffoons). This team has simply overcome too much to quite on them now. As always Go Flyers and vaya con dios.

I know you’ve been counting down the days my friends to yet another spectacular Dinosaur Wednesday! Yeah, I’m doing it again because I am unemployed and have nothing else to talk/write about. I will attempt to keep this brief, while still delivering you the top notch dinosaur content that you crave. The reason I would like to keep this brief is because a certain local hockey team is playing this evening and well, I need to obsess over that game like Ali Larter did to Beyonce’s man in that movie whose title I can’t remember. I think it was called: “The Girl That Wouldn’t Give Up, Even After Beyonce Beat Her Up.” Or something like that. On to dinosaurs.

            Now, it’s time to hand out this week’s Outstanding Dinosaur Award! Each week, this award is given out to a dinosaur that best exemplifies a commitment to excellence both on and off the field. A dinosaur that would eat you alive without a passing thought, but who would look very cool doing it. This week’s Outstanding Dinosaur is:

            Ah yes! Perhaps the world’s most famous dinosaur. The T-Rex as it is affectionately called has starred in a great many films, most notably the “Jurassic Park” franchise, “Land of the Lost,” the “Toy Story” franchise and posthumously in “Night at the Museum.” It’s name means “tyrant lizard king.” Don’t you even think about staging a rebellion against this kind of tyrant either. It’s best to just sit back and wait the meteor. Despite its tiny arms, I think the T-Rex would be quite successful at quashing any and all attempts at rebellion. Now let’s head over to enchantedlearning.com (remember: NOT a child’s website) for some fast facts on this monumental beast.

• Carnivore
• Length – 40 feet (12.4 m) long
• Height – 15 to 20 feet (4.6 to 6 m) tall
• Weight – 5 to 7 tons
• Discovered in 1902
• Lived in (gasp!!) North America and Asia. Take THAT other continents!
• Late Cretaceous period, about 85-65 million years ago

            Thanks again to enchantedlearning.com (not for grade schoolers) for the info.

            Let’s take a look inside the Post Collegiate Apocalypse Steel Cage to see who is duking it out in this Week’s Prehistoric Celebrity Grudge Match!

            Oh boy, this is colossal. Both participants are T-Rexes. Barney, is the host of a beloved children’s TV show. He has a wonderful voice and frequently uses it to dispense advice on friendship and the like. Rex, is a T-Rex skeleton who acts more like a puppy dog, chasing after bones and ropes. He is playful and energetic and is also a member of Ben Stiller’s so-called “Frat Pack” of actors. Other members include Will Ferrell, Owen Wilson, Luke Wilson and Vince Vaughn.

            In order to find out who wins this match up, I will need to fire up my patented dinosaur algorithm. Some say that this algorithm is so complex that it once made Stephen Hawking cry and that if used incorrectly it works as a recipe for orange sherbet. Either way, it is the only method we have to determine who will win. I’m pushing the button… now.

            Rex wins! Two weeks in a row a dinosaur named Rex wins! This is truly astounding stuff. This trend could continue next week if one of the T-Rexes from “Jurassic Park” should find itself in the steel cage. Only time will tell. Up next of our very appropriately themed “Jurassic Park” Quote of the Week!

            Alright, well let’s award today’s Beard of the Day and put an end to this week’s Dinosaur Wednesday!

In keeping with our recent Presidential theme, today's Beard of the Day winner is widely considered to be one of America's all time great Presidents. I don't know how he felt about dinosaurs, but I'm sure he was a fan. Ladies and gentlemen, I humbly present to you: the "Abraham Lincoln."

            Ok, well that is all for today. I’ll probably be back tomorrow with some thoughts on the Flyers game tonight. Remember: Go Flyers! Don’t stop believing my friends and as always: vaya con dios.

I’m sorry that I couldn’t think of a catchy, alliterative title. So, we’re all stuck with Dinosaur Wednesday. Basically, my post college life blog thing has turned into me writing about the things I love to talk about, namely hockey, movies and now… dinosaurs. This is what you do when you’re out of school and unemployed.

            First up is the Outstanding Dinosaur Award! This award is given out each week to a dinosaur that is so cool that you wish it was still around, even though if it was it would eat you and everyone you love. It’s what we English majors call a conundrum. This week’s winner is…

             That’s right the Spinosaurus! You may remember this particular dinosaur as the star of the feature film “Jurassic Park III.” The film, while by no means a masterpiece, is still a worthy piece of cinema thanks to the Titanic battle between this guy right here and the T-Rex. I won’t spoil who wins, but I think we all know the answer anyway. This sequence launched a million very mature chat room debates over whether or not the fight would play out the way the film presented it. I’m proud to say that only a little more than 75% of them ended in childish name calling. God bless the internet. I don’t care who would actually win. The Spinosaurus is very cool. Here are some stats courtesy of Enchantedlearning.com which is in NO way a site for grade schoolers.

•  Carnivore
• 40-50 feet long
• Weighed over 4 tons
• Lived in Africa during Cretaceous Period (97.5-95 million years ago)
• Made home in swamps
• Crocodile-like jaws 

            Next up on this glorious day is the Prehistoric Celebrity Grudge Match! This event puts two notorious celebrity dinosaurs in our steel cage and lets them fight it out to see which one reins supreme.

            What a heavy weight match up this would be! Rex, the adorably clumsy toy dinosaur from the beloved “Toy Story” series vs. the blood thirsty killing machines that terrorized Jeff Goldblum and Sam Neill in “Jurassic Park.” In order to find out who would win in a fight between these Prehistoric celebrities, I will use a needlessly, supremely complex algorithm which I created. Here are the results…

            I honestly didn’t see that coming. Such is the mystery of the algorithm. Hey, what would a Dinosaur Wednesday be without a “Jurassic Park” Quote of the Week? Our quote this time comes from “Jurassic Park” courtesy of imdb.com. 

Dennis Nedry: [loudly] Dodgson, Dodgson, we have Dodgson here! See? Nobody cares. Nice hat! What are ya tryin’ to look like – a secret agent?

            Finally, we’ll close out Dinosaur Wednesday with a very special Beard of the Day!

Well, it's not quite a dinosaur but it's pretty darn close. I guess. I don't know, I'm not a zoologist or a paleontologist. What I am is a guy who loves dinosaurs. Ladies and gentlemen the "Bearded Lizard."

That’s all for today. I hope you enjoyed the first (and possibly last) Dinosaur Wednesday! If you’re still willing to read this blog, I will be back tomorrow with my thoughts on something. Not sure what yet, but I assure you it will be random. It’s really all I’ve got at this point. Vaya con dios and Go Flyers!