The desert is always an interesting place for Bear Grylls to go. The man does anything for water and food in the desert. He once used the stomach of a camel as shelter. He took on a hive of bees for honey which led to the infamous swollen face after a bee sting. Fun times for Bear in the desert.
The latest episode of Man Vs. Wild finds Bear in the Mojave desert in the United States. The episode is the sequel to the episode when Bear and his crew created different survival situations for him such as the avalanche, icy water and the infamous glissade incident that nearly killed him. In the desert, Bear endures a sandstorm, a flash food, angers a rattlesnake and plays with scorpions in the darkness. Bear doesn’t experience any near deaths. As always, here are the highlights:
-The opening of the episode is one of the best in the series. For the first time in his life, Bear prepares to skydive from 30,000 feet. The air temperature is -45 degrees at that altitude. His eyes could freeze immediately without goggles. Nitrogen bubbles could knock him unconscious twenty minutes after the jump without proper oxygen intake before skydive. The show missed a golden opportunity to reenact the dramatic, intense skydive scene from Point Break. If one man would jump from a plane without a parachute like Johnny Utah, he would be Bear Grylls. In the interest of safety, Bear doesn’t follow in Utah’s footsteps. Bear jumps and absolutely loves the feeling of falling so fast through the sky. He is euphoric as am I because THAT is how a Man Vs. Wild episode should open. Also, he jumped into -45 degree temperatures and landed in the desert heat.
-The first challenge is a man made sand storm. As always, Bear wants to demonstrate proper survival methods to take. My first thought when I saw the large cloud of sand move closer and closer to Bear was, “I would run the other direction.” On cue, Bear tells the audience that running is a bad idea because sandstorms can be miles long. The storm will inevitably cover a person. The smart thing to do is wait. Find shelter even if the shelter is small. Bear uses a broken car door. The difference between the wind underneath the car compared to the wide open is 50mph. Bear instructs to cover your mouth with a shirt because the easiest way to die in a sand storm is through suffocation. After the sand storm ends, Bear plainly tells the camera that he hates sand as he spits sand from his mouth and rubs sand from his clothes, hair and forehead.
-The second challenge is a flash food. I’ll admit to being surprised by the two big challenges happening in the first twenty minutes of the show. The second half of show suffers because of the front-loading of awesome challenges. Anywho, the crew has three tanks of water. Together, 90,000 tons of water are going to come at Bear and his tent. Only Bear would sit in a tent with 90,000 tons of water targeting him. He explains that LESS water can move an entire SUV. Bear must be aware of rocks as well. The water is soon dumped but the water doesn’t hit Bear directly because he set up camp AWAY from where the bulk of the water would go. His tent gets taken out though. The flash food looked FUN rather than scary, sort of like a water ride at Dorney Park. Bear loved skydiving and sort of enjoyed the flash food. This is like an episode when Les Stroud was on a desert island, eating fruit, fish and having a fantastic time.
Also, before the water was released, Bear said he felt happy, then added ‘as happy as one can before 90,000 tons of water hit them.’ One of the great sentences from Bear Grylls.
-Bear wore special snake boots to track the speed of rattle snake biting the foot of a human. The rattle snake can bite in .5 second which gives a person no chance to defend since the body takes 4 seconds to react and a second or two to process the danger.
-Bear played with two scorpions in the desert. By play, I mean he wore protective gloves and poked at their stinger. If you saw any previous desert episodes or an episode of Survivorman in the desert, you know scorpions are dangerous but the greatest source of food in the desert. The two guys always ate scorpions. Les cooked them and Bear ate them raw.
-The final challenge’s signifcance was lost on me. It involved a difficult climb. I think Bear wanted to show off his expert climbing skills. Also, he said he feared heights. This is the same guy who climbed Everest twice and just jumped out of a plane that was flying at 30,000 feet in the beginning of the episode.
Another solid Man Vs. Wild. Next week is the season finale.
The week two NFL picks should be up in a bit.
SCREENPLAY OF THE DAY
Community–”Pilot”–Written by Dan Harmon http://www.zen134237.zen.co.uk/Community/Community_1x01_-_Pilot.pdf
It’s only 34 pages. I estimate the read time to be around 20-22 minutes. Half-hour comedy scripts are different from hour long drama scripts as well as feature length screenplays. Dan Harmon’s an awesome writer and Community’s great. Go ahead and read it.
On this day that celebrates 90210, I will not write about the show because I never watched it; however, let me know when America is celebrating Dawson’s Creek and I’ll write 30,000 words about it. After all, I once spent 1,000 words comparing the show’s sixth season to the 2008 Denver Broncos.
But today is reserved for my weekly thoughts on the latest Man Vs. Wild.
This week, Bear Grylls was in the Republic of Georgia near the border of Russia. Bear covered an insane amount of ground. He went from the peaks of the Caucasus mountains to the wetlands. As he begins the descent on the mountain, he talks about the volatile place that Georgia’s become. Of course, my mind recalls the short Russian-Georgian war that took place last August. Bear is actually describing the mountains and the terrain as volatile. His helicopter DOES land so he doesn’t skydive. Instead, once the plane lands, he drives a snow mobile across the mountains because he wants to beat the threatening weather in a race. Unfortunately, the snow mobile breaks down.
Unlike previous weeks, Bear does not surround himself with the possibility of death. He doesn’t play wiffle ball with an Georgian bears nor battle a vulture for an egg. There’s some excitement with wolves though.
Here are the highlights:
-Before he begins his descent down the mountain, he gives the audience a weather report. The information he imparts reminded me of the meteorology class I took. Severe weather is only four hours away, Bear tells us, so he’s going to work quickly. He usually works quickly. In fact, this episode he did an extraordinary amount of work to survive. Perhaps a heavy workload is what it takes to survive in Eastern Europe.
-The first 15-20 minutes focuses on the descent down the mountain. Bear is an expert. When he reaches steep declines, he pulls out his rope and digs into the snow so he can climb down. I forget what name is given to the system Bear uses. He did the same thing with Will Ferrell in the Sweden episode. He instructs the audience to kick into the snow while climbing down because of the friction the act creates. He never wants anyone to rush themselves down a mountain. Take your time is the biggest lesson Bear gives because mountains can be unpredictable.
-He reaches the ground easily and begins the search for food or liquid. He explains that one can become dehydrated in the cold even though a person won’t feel like he or she is dehydrated. He gathers snow and melts it with a fire. Bear won’t eat snow because snow lowers the body’s core temperature.
-In the forest, Bear’s priority is food. While climbing down the mountain, he thought he struck gold with an egg but the egg was extremely rotted. The vulture actually left the egg there to rot so Bear knew eating it was out of the question. Bear notes that he is not the only predator in the forest. Among the other predators are wolves and bears.
-Nothing happens in the forest. Bear makes camp. The Georgian evening looks awesome though. I wouldn’t mind living in Eastern Europe for a period of time. As he builds the fire, he talks about the mythology of wolves and the thought that a pack of wolves will attack human beings when, in fact, one is lucky should he or she ever see a wolf in the wilderness. During the night, he hears wolves howling. Bear howls himself to determine the distance of the wolves. He has a restless night because of those noises he heard in the night. The description for the episode included the words “camps with wolves.” Technically, he does but he isn’t sitting with them around the fire reading the works of Vazha-Pshavela.
-His whole journey is about reaching the coast of The Black Sea because it has one of the most popular shipping lanes. He enters the wetlands and briefly eats three eggs and the chick fetus’ that are in the egg. Bear says a scavenger can’t be a chooser. The sight of Bear eating a fetus with one of the half-formed eyes hanging from his mouth isn’t a pleasant visual.
-Bear doesn’t have an easy time in the wetlands. He moves at a snail pace because of the environment, loses a shoe, submerges himself to get the shoe back and then decide to build a raft. He builds the raft easily and reaches the coast. He needs to get the raft to the sea so he builds an elaborate anchor system so he can pull the raft because the raft is too heavy for him to carry. After some time, he gets the raft to the shore where he eventually finds a giant tanker. Rescue found.
-Oh yeah, he also does this:
Overall, a good episode of Man Vs. Wild. It’s not the craziest episode of the series. Bear spends a lot of time building things that will help him. He doesn’t put himself into any extremely dangerous situations like he has in the past. The episode has plenty of good information and advice for the viewer regarding surviving in a place like Northern Georgia.
I promised an NBC preview today but the preview will wait until tomorrow. No one wants to read a 4,000 word entry anyway.
A new episode of Man Vs. Wild aired last night on Discovery. For the second week in a row, Bear was located in the Pacific Rim. Specifically, he was in Northern Australia where the biggest threats are saltwater crocs. The episode started slow but the second half-hour picked up with intensity when Bear navigated croc waters. As usual, here are highlights from the episode:
-An episode of Man vs. Wild either ends or begins with Bear chasing a plane, a boat or human beings for rescue or take-off. This episode opened with Bear running after a plane that would fly him to a safe altitude so he could jump into the pre-historic Australian land. He always catches up with the plane but such an opening is so over-the-top and ridiculous; with that said, it’s always awesome. When Bear jumped from the plane, he made sure he did some flips in the air.
-His biggest challenge during the first 30 minutes was the difficult terrain that eroded through the years. At one point, he held onto dear life after rocks gave away as he tried to journey to lower ground. He then told the viewers that a backup plan is always handy.
-Northern Australia is a hot place. The first words out of Bear’s mouth concern the heat and the humidity. He talks about the importance of hydration in an environment like the one he currently is a part of. Early on, Bear finds a shady cavern with rain water. Bear builds a natural filter using grass, coal and his jacket. After pouring the dirty water into his filter, clear water emerges into his cup.
-The trademark survival dining was on the menu again after a rare week when Bear enjoyed the food he had to eat. Bear found a small body of water. He feared crocodiles but became calm after realizing it was shallow. Bear spent about a minute pouring water on himself because of the heat. He talked about the life forms swimming in a shallow body of water. Naturally, Bear’s first target was a large water snake. He caught the snake easily. As he held the snake, he told a story about the Aboriginal women who simply broke a snake’s neck with their teeth. Bear bites and breaks the snake’s neck. I’ll admit to feeling pity for the snake but that is life in the wilderness while trying to survive.
-Bear Grylls makes starting a fire look so easy that even I think I could do it within four minutes. He’s also a pro with makeshift beds.
-Soon enough Bear entered croc territory. Like last week with the sharks, I was on the edge of my seat. Bear noticed one in-land and warned the viewers never assume safety when the land you’re in is populated with over 100,000 crocodiles.
-He needs to cross various rivers because he wants to make it to the coast where humans live. First, he manages to climb over croc waters. Afterwards, he knows he’ll need a mode of transportation. He builds another raft. The raft is better than last week’s. Instead of describing what happens, YouTube can show you:
-After the fun with flesh-eating crocodiles, Bear enters maze-like terrain where he uses a stick so he doesn’t walk in circles. He’s been through a similar situation so not much happens. He eventually finds human footprints and a fisherman, thus ending his adventure in Northern Australia.
Overall, a quality episode of Man Vs. Wild. I remember Survivorman gave the viewer the illusion of danger even though Les Stroud never came close to any large predators like sharks or crocs. I recall his encounter with the jaguar though. By far, the most exciting moment in Survivorman. But this season of Man Vs. Wild is all about Bear coming face-to-face with large, dangerous predators. It’s essentially the illusion of danger as well because Bear will never get hurt but it’s different.
NEW SHOWS FROM NBC FOR 2010-2011 SEASON
Now the time has arrived to dive back into assessing/previewing the new shows on the schedule for NBC. This is the fifth and final network but there is a chance that I will break NBC into two days because they a decent amount of new series. As always, I’m evaluating which shows will crack The Foot’s weekly review rotation. Here we go:
Chase
Premiere Date: September 20, 2010 at 10PM
Creator: Jennifer Johnson
Premise: (From NBC Press Release) “Chase” is a fast-paced drama from Emmy Award-winning executive producer Jerry Bruckheimer (“CSI” franchise, “The Amazing Race,” “Pirates of the Caribbean” films) and executive producer Jennifer Johnson (“Cold Case”) that drops viewers smack into the middle of a game of cat-and-mouse as a team of U.S. marshals hunts down America’s most dangerous fugitives.
Thoughts: I read the premise and thought the show wouldn’t capture my attention or interest. Of course, I watched the trailer. I am now intrigued. The show looks entertaining. The lead, Kelli Giddish, seems great and the show seems like it has substance. Jennifer Johnson is the creator. She wrote for LOST during the first season. I hold the group of writers responsible for the first season of LOST in high regard. The fugitive featured in the trailer seems like a great character. I’m expecting a top-notch pilot; however, I wonder how the show will be on a week-to-week basis with presumably different fugitives each week. I’ll lose interest if the show resembles Criminal Minds or CSI or Bones. We’ll see.
Chance Of Weekly Review: 45%
The Event
Premiere Date: September 20, 2010 at 9PM
Creator: Nick Wauters
Premise: (From NBC Press Release) “The Event” is an emotional, high-octane conspiracy thriller that follows Sean Walker (Jason Ritter, “The Class”), an Everyman who investigates the mysterious disappearance of his fiancee, Leila (Sarah Roemer, “Disturbia”), and unwittingly begins to expose the biggest cover-up in U.S. history. Sean’s quest will send ripples through the lives of an eclectic band of strangers, including: newly elected U.S. President Martinez (Golden Globe nominee Blair Underwood, “Dirty Sexy Money”); Sophia (Emmy Award nominee Laura Innes, “ER”), who is the leader of a mysterious group of detainees; and Sean’s shadowy father-in-law (Scott Patterson, “Gilmore Girls”). Their futures are on a collision course in a global conspiracy that could ultimately change the fate of mankind. Ian Anthony Dale (“Daybreak”) and Emmy winner Zeljko Ivanek (“Damages”) also star in the ensemble drama.
Thoughts: I already dislike the arrogance of the producers behind this show. This is definitely a show in the style of LOST. Many shows, in the past, wanted to be LOST and failed miserably because networks and showrunners don’t seem to understand what made LOST work for six seasons. Nick Wauters, the creator, wants the audience to trust that the show knows what it’s doing. If this show is largely built around mythology and ignores its characters, The Event is going to fail. Quotes from TCA involved some form of attack on LOST. Not cool. The pilot got a huge response at Comic Con but no one knows what The Event is. Wauter says he spent five years crafting the show. But, really, don’t compare your show with LOST. Remember when Tim Kring brought everyone Heroes with promises that he’d never mirror the style of LOST? Well, Tim Kring and his staff wrote about 13 good episodes before the series became bad then worse then terrible then awful then cancelled. Do not insult THEE show that made it possible for copycats to make it on the air. I’m going to watch this show though. I’m also going to review the show. I will be ready at all times to defend LOST. I’m a tiny voice on the large internet but if the show continues its arrogance, I will rant and criticize.
Chance Of Weekly Review: 100%
Law & Order: Los Angeles
Premiere Date: September 29, 2010 at 10PM
Creator: Dick Wolf
Premise: (From NBC Press Release) The new “Law & Order: Los Angeles” is a procedural crime drama that will follow the theme and storylines similar to the “Law & Order”-brand series on the streets of Los Angeles.
Thoughts: I watched one full episode of a Law and Order series. I believe it was the Criminal Intent spinoff. The show featured Emily Vancamp as a guest star. I think she’s great. I don’t care for L&O though. Never have. I only included it to let potential viewers know about the new spinoff.
Chance of Weekly Review: 0%
Thus ends Part 1 of NBC. Tomorrow is the conclusion of NBC and I’ll have the complete rotation set. Three more shows tomorrow.
Man vs. Wild returned last night. I wrote about the show two years ago for The Quad and it remains one of the most read articles I wrote. I think Bear Grylls is simply beloved by everyone. The show doesn’t receive the same attention that it did two years. Man vs. Wild is as entertaining and enjoyable as ever. The formula hasn’t changed but the survival scenarios are completely engaging. Whether he’s trying to survive in the Arctic Circle or the Sahara, I will watch. Below are some highlights from Bear’s latest adventure in Papua New Guinea. If you search for it on discovery, the episode is called “Western Pacific.”
–The episode starts in usual great fashion as helicopter, carrying Bear, provides terrific shots of an awesome ocean. Bear is west of Australia’s most northern part and above an ocean with deadly tiger sharks, hammer heads, stingrays and jellyfish to name a few. Bear tells us this as I begin thinking “oh Bear won’t drop in the ocean this time; they will safely let him and his crew off on the island.” Nope. Bear adds, “there is no landing spot for the copter on the island so we have to jump.” I’ll remind you that 15 second ago Bear told the viewer the ocean is a place where humans are very likely to be killed by sharks but he’s Bear and he doesn’t care. He’s the guy who once stared down 200 elephants and managed to scare them all away. You think some tiger sharks and hammerheads will scare him? So he and the DP drop into the blue waters. As he swims, Bear talks about the coral reef and states he could be harmed badly by it. Let me also paint you the picture of an absolutely vicious tide. I’m amazed that Bear nor the DP, Simon, injured themselves. Once Bear safely pasts the reef, Bear talks about the sharks’ love for shallow waters because it’s an easy feeding ground. He lands on the sand safely. Of course, once he does, we see a shark swimming near where he just was. A totally awesome opening.
–Bear likes to orient himself with the environment so he decides to climb to the island’s highest point. It’s a difficult climb. I couldn’t do it. He masters the climb though but isn’t satisfied with the height. He wants higher ground. Bear notes the terrain is difficult to navigate. As he navigates, he ends up jumping from rock to rock and the jump couldn’t be done by the average joe. The landing is small and dangerous. Plus, if he messes up, the drop looks about 100 feet. Of course Bear nails the jump and the landing. Once he reaches the height he wants, he realizes he swam to the wrong island. The other island has the resources he wants. The only thing separating the two islands is the shark-infested water. This. Will. Be. Awesome.
–Bear grabs a huge stick as a means of defense from any shark as well as the unpredictable currents. He navigates slowly, cautiously and carefully. At one moment, it seems like a shark bumped against him and Bear freaks out but regains his calm quickly. Meanwhile, the number of sharks in the distance grows and Bear knows the longer he’s in the water is worse for him. Before he reaches the shore, a shark races towards him before veering off. On land, Bear laughs about the adrenaline rush he feels. An absolutely riveting sequence of events.
–On the other island, Bears performs the usual tasks: finding water, shelter, food. He realizes there is a third island he wants to be on because of rescue chances. Bear decides he needs good energy so he needs a good meal. This is by far my favorite part of the episode:
BEAR TRIES TO CAPTURE A SHARK!
He’s smart about it though. He ends up with a lobster. Bear enjoyed the lobster more than anything I’ve seen him eat in the shows history. He also enjoy the coconuts he had earlier. Anywho, with that meal in his system, he builds an entire raft out of bamboo.
–The sea travel on his man-made bamboo raft doesn’t unfold smoothly. He has the unfortunate luck of sailing when a storm approaches so the sea is choppy and rough. He loses his sail and manages to survive the brutal tide and the reef and finds rescue in a small plane about to take off thus ending the adventure in Papua New Guinea.
An A+ episode. I enjoyed the episode so much. I think it’s one of the top ten episodes in the show’s history. He went into shark-infested waters over and over again. How badass is that?
FRENCH LIGUE 1
france.theoffside.com
Boy oh boy this is a twenty team league and the league is pretty unfamiliar to me. I’ve seen the occassional Bordeux, Lyon, Marseille, Paris Saint-Germain and St. Etienne game as I’m sure anyone reading this blog has. Here’s a breakdown of the importance of standings:
1st and 2nd place teams are in the Champions league. The 3rd place team earns a spot in Champions League qualifying. 4th place plays in the Europa League and the last place teams (18-20) are relegated.
1. Lyon
Reason: I recall the team advancing deep in Champions League so that means the team is very good and quite capable of winning the Ligue. The full name for the squad is Olympique Lyonnais. Also, in order to keep readers from veering away from this I will search for the team that French beauty Marion Cotillard (from Inception) supports. Eh? EH? She is great. Lyon are rivals with pretty much every team in the ligue according to wikipedia but the most prominent rivalry is with St. Etienne because of class distinctions. I wonder if V has been translated into French. Also, a prize for anyone who guesses what V is. No, not the alien drama on ABC. And goal.com compared the team to Oasis.
2. AS Monaco
Reason: Don’t know. Also, anyone expecting Marion Cotillard’s favorite French team will not receive any answer. They’ve lost much of their mid-field flair according to goal.com. Wonderful. They also have a recent history of failing in big moments.
3. Marseille
Reason: I won’t earn much respect from French Ligue supports should they read this but let me remind you that I am simply trying to learn a lot about every important league in the world. Marseille finished first last year. Experts say Marseille are old but great. I don’t know if that is an endorsement for the team or not. What I do know is that they have three popular fan groups and that they’ll be playing in the Champions league. Yes.
4. Bordeux
Reason: They finished sixth last season so they’ve gotta restore their dignity by finishing 4th and playing in UEFA Europa. I watched the team last year and, often, would never take them in Streak for the Cash. The fans demand greatness from their team and they have a new coach. I dare say Bordeux nation are hopeful. Goal.com compared them to Lady Gaga. I don’t understand.
5. Stades Rennes
Reason: Love the name. Ghana’s own Asamoah Gyan, who will forever be remembered for not converting a free kick after the Suarez handball plays for this team. If it wasn’t for Gyan, Ghana wouldn’t have been in that game at all. Gyan is awesome.
6. Lens
Reason: Every team in the ligue has much longer name than given on espn.com. The full name is Racing Club de Lens. I respect that. My sources tell me they don’t have tons of cash and an unreliable offense but can produce unspectacular victories. They sound like Paraguay.
7. Montepellier
Reason: The French faithful think their late season surge was a flash in the pan and will not be repeated. In other words, they are the Nashville Predators. Of course, by comparing them to the Predators, I am predicting the team will surprise year after year. Barry Trotz is underrated.
8. Lille
Reason: They are an exciting team to watch my sources tell me. Actually, they are hailed as the most exciting team in France. Good for them. My pick, seemingly, does not justify the greatness I read about. Oh, well. I literally just learned about this team as I wrote what you read right now.
9. Paris St-Germain
Reason: I watched a game of theirs on Saturday. There were patches of empty seats. Look at this: the team has trouble selling tickets! I am both observant and capable of research. The team never lives up to expectations. Not sure if they have a goat curse but the expectations part reminds me of the Cubs. Now, they won the game on Saturday 2-1 and currently sit atop the ligue but the season barely began.
10. Lorient
Reason: According to goal.com, the team is like the Florida Marlins because their coach can take so-so players and transform the team into a dangerous opponent. I have nothing else to add.
11. Valenciennes
Reason: They’re good enough to be a top 10 team apparently. Nothing else stands out about this team.
12. Nice
Reason: Oh, Nice. Their expectation is simply to avoid relegation.
13. Sochaux
Reason: Anyone reading should know that the difference between finishing in the top ten and finishing in the bottom ten is very important. This is a team expected in the top ten but they get compared to the band Hanson. That doesn’t instill confidence.
14. Arles
Reason: I’m beginning to think I shouldn’t use this section as a reason for placing a team where I do. Maybe replace the word with thoughts. They were promoted upon finishg 3rd in the Ligue 2 so this is generous but I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about after all. This is a team of go-getters though for they’ve been promoted four times in the last five years. ARLES! ARLES! ARLES!
15. Caen
Reason: Ignoring the spelling, the name reminds me of WWE wrestler known as The Big Red Machine. Expectations for the team: survival. The team plays in Normandy and they won the Ligue 2 last year. I think their full name is Stade Malherbe Caen Calvados Basse-Normandie. Could you imagine Steven A. Smith saying this authortatively while making a point on ESPN?
16. Toulouse
Reason: The team appears to have no scoring options besides Andre-Pierre Gignac which, of course, reminds me of the 2009-2010 Heat. Who in the world was the Heat’s no. 2 scorer? The city has Europe’s largest romanesque church. The church, Saint-Sernin Basilica has the world’s most beautiful pipe organ.
17. AS Nancy Lorraine
Reason: I just forgot about this team and had to put them somewhere.
18. St. Etienne
Reason: Carlos Bocanegra, the US National Team’s captain, plays for the team. Goal.com expects a decent finish for the club. I certainly hope Bocanegra’s club isn’t relegated. Etienne’s nation seems glad that Bocanegra is on the team. Moving on.
19. Brest
Reason: Their full name is Stade Brestois and survival is their chief motivator. Among the things they need to improve is mental resolve. Sounds like a team that is going back to the French Ligue 2.
20. AJ Auxerre a.ka. AJA
Reason: Yes, fans call the team AJA so, naturally, I think of the director Alexandre Aja and the opportunity to put a team called AJA here was a great one. No, I cannot find which team in France Aja supports though. I only hope he has enough of an ego to root for a team known as AJA. I can only imagine their season will fall apart in the last act of the season reducing the brilliant first two acts of the season meaningless.
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