Quad Blogs

I think Bill Simmons has put the Twilight obsession into perspective for me. Should I wait to write about Twilight so that this could coincide with the release of “Twilight Three: There Is No Spoon”? Probably; however I’m feeling the complete opposite of how North Korea’s feeling as they leave South Africa for their home country.

Rumors are circled that the DPRK’s team will be punished for their poor performance in the Cup by being forced to work in the Coal Mines for the rest of their lives. Officials close to the club deny it, citing the Asian Cup being a mere seven months away. Rumors have also circled that Kim Jong-il is responsible for the drubbing his team took against Portugal. Rumor has it the PRK’s leader texted the PRK coach, Kim Jong-hun tactics to use. Why in the world would anyone tell a coach to go away from the tactics that nearly gave the DPRK an epic upset over Brazil, the number one team in the world? Maybe if I ran the only Stanlinist country left on the planet I would understand but, to use the famous last words of one fictional LOST character John Locke: I don’t understand. I’ve read as many DPRK articles I could during their time in the World Cup and I’m even MORE confused and mystified. I just hope the players aren’t sent to the coal mines for the rest of their lives. The game against Brazil was very impressive. This mysterious and enigmatic North Korean squad going toe-to-toe against Brazil. One wonders, though, after the games with Portugal and the Ivory Coast, how much the Brazil game boiled down to the Brazil side being mostly clueless about the team aside from qualifies and friendlies. NO! I shall not take away a great effort by the North Korean squad. It was quite an experience watching the team and reading about them. Also, Ian Darke is the greatest soccer broadcaster in the world.

Anywho, back to Twilight Three: There Is No Spoon, the obsessive Twihards, and the idea of obsession. I never understood the Twilight fanfare when Joss Whedon created and co-created the two finest vampire shows of all-time. After reading The Sports Guy’s opening paragraph in his Draft Diary about how he doesn’t take the piss out of his wife and daughter’s love for Twilight and Robert Pattinson, citing his six fantasy leagues as his own insane obsession, I too realized I have insane obsessions. In fact, this blog is living proof of one such obsession: LOST. I’m the same guy involved in fantasy leagues for baseball, hockey, football and basketball. There’s a never period during the year when I’M NOT setting a lineup or thinking about my fantasy sports teams. I’m the same guy who obsesses over ESPN’S Streak For The Cash, when the mood strikes me. True story: I once watched two terrible CAA teams play on the University of Delaware website because I picked one of them. I also have too much time on my hands.

So, to not bore the masses reading, I will cut my list of nonsense obsessions short and say this to the Twihards: Life After Jacob’s Foot is a safe haven for you. I will not insult the franchise. Okay, I probably will when the mood strikes me like now.

I really want to deliver one message: under no circumstances should anyone dress like a vampire and apply glitter to himself or herself to capture the sparkle aspect of the mythology. A vampire sparkling’s about the lamest attribute for a supernatural creature. It’s on par with the nazi werewolves True Blood just introduced.

Additionally, I want to deliver this message to those who think the actors are actually the characters they get paid to portray. You realize if the casting director and the director had an eye for talent, they would not cast Robert Pattinson in this role? The same applies for Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner, Ashley Greene, etc. I’ve seen no more than 45 minutes of the first Twilight movie. During this time, a buddy of mine merely made tons of obscene jokes during the forty-five minutes. Why do Twihards send death threats to Emilie de Ravin for merely accepting an acting job in which the story had her being romantically involved with the character Robert Pattinson was cast to portray? It’s not Edward Cullen leaving Bella Wetblanket for Emilie de Ravin. There comes a time when people must differentiate between reality and fiction. Actually, YOU SHOULD ALWAYS DO THAT. Do you think I walk around and refuse to accept an actor who worked on LOST as any other character? No. Somehow, this only happens with a series of books that poorly reverses established vampire tropes, is poorly written and poorly acted. Do you want to see a real vampire movie? Netflix the Swedish film Let The Right One In.

Well, if any Twilight fans actually read this, I’m sure they won’t read anything I write again. I will now stop writing so I can follow the Spain/Chile game and the Swiss/Honduras game closely.

THE YOUTUBE CLIP OF THE WEEK

In tribute of Michael Jackson, who died one year ago today, here is “Rock With You

Before things get under way here in the ol’ Foot, I have a link to provide you all with. It’s a cover story about Michael Jackson written in 1983 for Rolling Stone when Michael could do no wrong but you’ll notice things.

His intense shyness was present, his quiet and frightened self when he wasn’t on stage was present. Quincy Jones reveals a poignant behind the scenes fact about the recordin of “She’s Out Of My Life.” But there’s some stuff in here that’ll make you think about the speculation about the circumstances of his death and it’s all very tragic.

Michael Jackson Life in the Magic Kingdom

TRUE BLOOD

‘True Blood’ returned after a one-week hiatus. I don’t think I’ll devote too many words to the recap now. It’s a good show but it is what it is I suppose.

In this episode, Jason took a massive leap to crazed religious fanatic, the Fellowship of the Sun attempted to kidnap Sookie, Bill got mad at Eric for Sookie-related reasons, Maryann became even more annoying and might launch me into a rant about a certain actress’ time on Everwood, Eggs and Tara copulated (and Tara’s mightily important to/for the bulljawnMaryann), Lafayette is in fact not a vampire (and I was fooled by the previews) and was healed by Eric, Sam has changed his tune completely with Daphne and they also most likely copulated as the bulljawn showed herself as the bulljawn, and then we got a very cool ending with Sookie meeting Matt, a dude who also reads thoughts.

Perhaps it was The Pen’s emphasis on Jack Taschner being waived by the Phils or the fact that I re-lived the terrible swoon the Phils fell into before wrapping up yesterday’s fantastic 9-1 homestand, I didn’t care for this episode. Ken Tucker of EW.com declared it the best of the season. Alan Ball wrote it. But eh. Everything started coming together in a rather anti-climatic way. I know Jason’s being used by the Sun. It hasn’t been revealed but I know that’ll be the endpoint for that particular storyline. He might have sex with the Rev’s wife. He probably will. But since they wanted Sookie, there’s a reason Jason is moving so fast through the ranks. I don’t really care about the storyline though. It was interesting when Jason was torn but now that he’s not it sorts of sucks.

I’ve complained about Maryann for the last few weeks now. The same old happened in this episode with her. She threw a party, it turned into Eyes Wide Shut. Only this time we found out she’s the bulljawn. Tara’s also important. Any one who wrongs her will be killed or nearly killed. I’m getting a whole Anne Heche in season 3 of Everwood vibe from Maryann. Season Three of Everwood was a pretty damn fine season but Anne Heche detracted from the season mightily. Maryann is going to destroy season two for me. The character AND the actress. Yes.

As for the dude who reads thoughts whose name may or may not be Matt, I think it’s going to be a cool plotline.

TO LOST WE GO!

Yet again there will not be an episode of the day. I’ve got them waiting in the wings. The next one will be from season one. If you guess which one, I will feel indifferent about it! Knock your socks off!

Michael Emerson believes that LOST will ultimately end sadly. He feels that the show will end bittersweetly. The first thing that popped in my mind wasn’t how I think it’s going to end because it’s me and I don’t look that far ahead. I just want SciFi (or as they call it now SyFy) to return to airing the re-runs. Of course I can watch LOST whenever I want to likes to digital video discs. It is sweet turning on SyFy at 1AM and watching in HD though. I digress. What popped in my mind immediately was nothing really. I was eating pizza and fries. I now am just thinking about how talkative these actors have become. We’ve got Matthew Fox talking about how it’ll all end (and Darlton telling a European newspaper that Matthew Fox doesn’t know that much) and Emerson speaks up. I don’t have a problem with it. It’s just interesting. I liked Emerson speaking out more because I actually felt safe reading it. This is all leading me to this: Darlton ended radio silence early! I’m sort of offended. They don’t speak until Comic-Con but they spoke to media in Europe where LOST was being honored. Yes, ladies and gentleman, the last radio silence for the show has come to end. I feel like this paragraph had two news-worthy items. Thank you!

OASIS OFF!

Exciting stuff last week. Continuing on with…

“Supersonic”

AND FINALLY A QUOTE FROM TWOP’S DAWSON’S CREEK RECAP INVOLVING THE KILLER ICE CREAM CONE TO END THINGS!

“Time for the most hysterical scene ever. Dawson visits the Flash’s grave and plops right down on the grass and starts chatting. “How’s it going?” he begins. Up in heaven, the Flash licks a vanilla cone and snorts that he’s dead — how does Dawson think he’s doing?”