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Dinosaur Wednesday!

September 1st, 2010

Do you know what time it is?

            Sadly, it is not tool time, but it is, in fact, Dinosaur Wednesday! Show me some love Norman!

 Ba dum chi!

            Let us begin, as per the agreement we made when I took this job, with the Outstanding Dinosaur Award!

            The Outstanding Dinosaur Award is given to dinosaurs who distinguish themselves conspicuously by gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of his or her life above and beyond the call of duty while engaged in an action against an enemy of dinosaur kind.

            Borises and Natashas, this week’s Outstanding Dinosaur is…

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           Apatosaurus! This is the second sauropod to win the Outstanding Dinosaur Award if you recall way back on July 7th when the Brachiosaurus took home the crown. What a coup for our long-necked brethren! Shine on my brothers!

            Let’s check out some fast facts courtesy of our friends over at EnchantedLearning.com

  • An Apatosaurus skeleton was once misidentified as a separate animal and named Brontosaurus. These two animals have since been discovered to be one in the same and the name Brontosaurus has been discontinued.
  • Herbivore
  • 70-90 feet long
  • 15 feet tall at the hips
  • 33-38 tons
  • 50 foot long, whip-like tail balanced out its roughly 40 foot long neck
  • Was able to lift its head roughly 17 feet off of the ground
  • Nostrils were located on the top of its head for unknown reasons
  • Lived during the late Jurassic Period, about 157-146 million years ago
  • Lived in Western North America

            Fascinating stuff! Now let’s get back to the 2010 Prehistoric Celebrity King of the Steel Cage Tournament!

            Here is a look at where we stand so far.

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          As you can see, last week, early favorite Rex from “Toy Story” defeated Rudy the villain from “Ice Age 3.” On the other side of the bracket, our Mystery Contestant bested a Raptor from “Jurassic Park III.”

            Keep in mind that the winner of this prestigious tournament will receive ONE MILLION dollars worth of multicolored hooded sweatshirts courtesy of Janice Redington in addition to the even more valuable bragging rights they will hold over their fellow Prehistoric Celebrities.

            As always, the winner of each match will be determined by our patented PCA Dinosaur Algorithm. Some say that it was the algorithm which rejected Ilya Kovalchuk’s contract extension with the New Jersey Devils and that it once actually played an entire game of “Mouse Trap,” instead of just arbitrarily setting up the trap.

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           This week’s first match features the beloved Little Foot (PCGM Record 0-0-0, Odds: 75-1) from “The Land Before Time” films taking on one of the ferocious and cunning Velociraptors (PCGM Record: 0-1-0, Odds: 20-1) from the first “Jurassic Park” film.             

            The algorithm’s ignition system has been replaced with a twist off cap… the cap has been twisted off!

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      The Raptor has advanced! What a contest! Now let’s hurry along to our second match of the evening.

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        Dino, the Flintstone family’s pet dinosaur (PCGM Record: 1-0-0, Odds: 40-1) will be facing the Spinosaurus from “Jurassic Park III” (PCGM Record: 0-0-0, Odss: 17-1). The twist off cap has been replaced with a door knob and I’m turning it now!

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        The Spinosaurus comes out on top! What a dark day as not one but TWO villains advance into the second round of our tournament. Here’s an updated look at our bracket.

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      Now it’s time once again for the ‘Jurassic Park’ Clip of the Week!

            That’s all for today! Thanks for reading and vaya con dios!

Image Credits: Apatosaurus, Compare